Well it's that time of year again. Halfway through another year and it's time to lookback on the games that have come out this year and look forward to what little hope remains in the 6 months ahead to salvage one of the weakest years I can remember for gaming.
Lets start with some of the press releases that came out around the game awards last year. Sony was the first to give warning that 2025 would not see any major IP's get new releases from them. Warning us that 2025 wasn't going to be much of a banging year, but it would all be okay because GTA 6 was coming and that would be the only game the year needed anyway so who really cares?
Anyway January happened...nothing notable came out except FF7 Rebirth on PC, and mostly other ports to PC from other platforms like Spider-man 2 and whatnot.
February saw the first major releases of the year, and pretty much caused the year to peak early with games like Kingdom Come 2 which was a huge plus for people into those types of games. For me it was Yakuza Pirates in Hawaii that stole the month. However with those two big popular titles, also came Microsoft's huge hit Avowed which was to be the Elder Scrolls killer until it released as a boring generic Skyrim clone without the charm or effort. People waiting for a good strategy game will unfortunately have to wait longer because Civ 7 is a giant waste of time. it wasn't looking too great for gaming this month as most games that should have been good came out like the final drops of piss that stain your underwear after you're finished.
However Monster Hunter Wilds released just under the wire to save us all. Making February's record 3/5, which isn't as terrible as you might think. Maybe it would be a decent year after all.
March rushes in to keep the momentum going with Split Fiction, another entry in the couch co-op genre that people seem to love. I wouldn't know because you need friends in real-life for these games which quite frankly is racist towards incels and they'll be hearing from my lawyer, if I had money. Split Fiction might be good, but the game I could actually play in March was good ol' Assassin's Creed Shadows, a racist game for idiots who don't understand history. ACS sucks, and makes no sense narratively but to be fair to Ubisoft they lost a bunch of people including a narrative team, but nothing is going to come from that probably.
April brings us another remaster of a remaster of Last of Us 2 for PC and not a single person cared. What's this Clare Obscur game? Who made it? The idiots Ubisoft fired? PFFT nobody is going to care about Expedition 33 for a second, everybody know's turn based JRPG's are dead.........welll fuck. Nerds every rejoice as Oblivion gets shadow-remade and released. Everyone plays it for one afternoon and collectively goes, "Yep that's Oblivion! Anyway...."
Holy shit it's May already, this year is Doomed. Oh speaking of which, Doom The Dark Ages releases and rip and tear is replaced by Parry and Bash which everyone seems to agree simply isn't as fun. Not bad but Doom was always about not giving a shit and kicking ass, unfortunately in order to parry you have to shit at least a little bit of a shit so it ruins Doom's pacing.
June arrives and we finally got a new Nintendo console, same as the last one but bigger and blacker, and featuring all of 2020's greatest hits. Games cost $80 now btw even if you've played them already on other systems 5 years ago. Nintendo gets to do whatever the fuck Nintendo wants, hooray. Mindeye also game out, a game from former GTA developers who learned the hard way that sometimes having a multi billion dollars to make a game is easier than trying to do it on a budget.
So I dunno about you guys, so far a couple of decent games in a sea of vapid worthless releases has made for a quite awful 2025 overall. I've put more hours into Poe and FF7 this year than all the new releases combined, and that's fucking sad.
Looking into the future though, to what do we have left to look forward too. I suppose GTA 6 can still save the day.....wait....oh.....nevermind on that I guess. But hey maybe that's a good thing, maybe publishers will rush out games now that they aren't scared of GTA 6 anymore.
July what's July looking like, looks like spending time with family outdoors with hotdogs on the grill.
August how about August. Oh a new Mafia game, that could be good. Dying Light the Beast....probably wont be anything worth looking at twice. Lost Soul Aside certainly has Brawl Man excited.
September then, well Boarderlands 4 has been getting previewed favorably by Luke Stepthens and a few other guys. Looks like fun, hopefully wont be so cringe. Brand New Silent Hill, Japanese schoolgirls are terrifying. Final Fantasy Tactics will be much jizzed over. So september looks decent.
October don't fail me now, give me something please. Ghosts of Yotei!? I'm down, god i hope it's not political. Pokemon Legends ZA, is going to be horrible, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it, but we'll ALL buy that shit, fuck me.
November will have Call of Duty as always. Along with the yearly copy/paste Madden.
Nothing in December don't even ask.
Well....fuck 2025 dude.
Lets start with some of the press releases that came out around the game awards last year. Sony was the first to give warning that 2025 would not see any major IP's get new releases from them. Warning us that 2025 wasn't going to be much of a banging year, but it would all be okay because GTA 6 was coming and that would be the only game the year needed anyway so who really cares?
Anyway January happened...nothing notable came out except FF7 Rebirth on PC, and mostly other ports to PC from other platforms like Spider-man 2 and whatnot.
February saw the first major releases of the year, and pretty much caused the year to peak early with games like Kingdom Come 2 which was a huge plus for people into those types of games. For me it was Yakuza Pirates in Hawaii that stole the month. However with those two big popular titles, also came Microsoft's huge hit Avowed which was to be the Elder Scrolls killer until it released as a boring generic Skyrim clone without the charm or effort. People waiting for a good strategy game will unfortunately have to wait longer because Civ 7 is a giant waste of time. it wasn't looking too great for gaming this month as most games that should have been good came out like the final drops of piss that stain your underwear after you're finished.
However Monster Hunter Wilds released just under the wire to save us all. Making February's record 3/5, which isn't as terrible as you might think. Maybe it would be a decent year after all.
March rushes in to keep the momentum going with Split Fiction, another entry in the couch co-op genre that people seem to love. I wouldn't know because you need friends in real-life for these games which quite frankly is racist towards incels and they'll be hearing from my lawyer, if I had money. Split Fiction might be good, but the game I could actually play in March was good ol' Assassin's Creed Shadows, a racist game for idiots who don't understand history. ACS sucks, and makes no sense narratively but to be fair to Ubisoft they lost a bunch of people including a narrative team, but nothing is going to come from that probably.
April brings us another remaster of a remaster of Last of Us 2 for PC and not a single person cared. What's this Clare Obscur game? Who made it? The idiots Ubisoft fired? PFFT nobody is going to care about Expedition 33 for a second, everybody know's turn based JRPG's are dead.........welll fuck. Nerds every rejoice as Oblivion gets shadow-remade and released. Everyone plays it for one afternoon and collectively goes, "Yep that's Oblivion! Anyway...."
Holy shit it's May already, this year is Doomed. Oh speaking of which, Doom The Dark Ages releases and rip and tear is replaced by Parry and Bash which everyone seems to agree simply isn't as fun. Not bad but Doom was always about not giving a shit and kicking ass, unfortunately in order to parry you have to shit at least a little bit of a shit so it ruins Doom's pacing.
June arrives and we finally got a new Nintendo console, same as the last one but bigger and blacker, and featuring all of 2020's greatest hits. Games cost $80 now btw even if you've played them already on other systems 5 years ago. Nintendo gets to do whatever the fuck Nintendo wants, hooray. Mindeye also game out, a game from former GTA developers who learned the hard way that sometimes having a multi billion dollars to make a game is easier than trying to do it on a budget.
So I dunno about you guys, so far a couple of decent games in a sea of vapid worthless releases has made for a quite awful 2025 overall. I've put more hours into Poe and FF7 this year than all the new releases combined, and that's fucking sad.
Looking into the future though, to what do we have left to look forward too. I suppose GTA 6 can still save the day.....wait....oh.....nevermind on that I guess. But hey maybe that's a good thing, maybe publishers will rush out games now that they aren't scared of GTA 6 anymore.
July what's July looking like, looks like spending time with family outdoors with hotdogs on the grill.
August how about August. Oh a new Mafia game, that could be good. Dying Light the Beast....probably wont be anything worth looking at twice. Lost Soul Aside certainly has Brawl Man excited.
September then, well Boarderlands 4 has been getting previewed favorably by Luke Stepthens and a few other guys. Looks like fun, hopefully wont be so cringe. Brand New Silent Hill, Japanese schoolgirls are terrifying. Final Fantasy Tactics will be much jizzed over. So september looks decent.
October don't fail me now, give me something please. Ghosts of Yotei!? I'm down, god i hope it's not political. Pokemon Legends ZA, is going to be horrible, I know it, you know it, everybody knows it, but we'll ALL buy that shit, fuck me.
November will have Call of Duty as always. Along with the yearly copy/paste Madden.
Nothing in December don't even ask.
Well....fuck 2025 dude.
