Netflix Cuties becomes the next piece in an ever more idiotic culture war

[Specter Von Baren]

A paraprofessional

How Educational Paraprofessionals Assist Teachers and Students

Educational paraprofessionals help children and teachers, especially in special education classrooms. Learn about their qualifications and duties.

www.verywellfamily.com

It's a fancy way to say a teacher's aide. I loved it. Kids are amazing.

Ah! So it's like when I tell people I'm a machinist. Gotcha.

 

[lil devils x]

I'm confused.
Is this show a fictionalized movie, a documentary, or a 'reality tv' series?

It is meant to be a representation of her own life experiences combined with the life experiences of many girls she interviewed in order to create the movie. It is about that awkward stage in a girls life when we are in a place between being a child and being an adult and all the confusion that goes along with it. Where we try to "put away our childhood past" and become our own woman and figure out who we are in life. That is why it is so controversial. Usually this period is all Disney'd up and fake, and she chose to go real on it and people's brains are melting over it. People can't really handle what girls that age think and do and want to pretend it doesn't exist.

The point of the movie is " This is what it is like to pass through this awkward phase in our life as girls in this world with all the pressures of society and cultures on us at once"

Apparently that is absolutely terrifying for some to digest.

 

[Dreiko]

I think you misunderstand. Young girls want to be sexy, but they are not ready for actual sex with another person. In a young girls mind, they do not equate being sexy and attractive to actual intercourse. Girls are in beauty pageants, dress " sexy" and revealing and dance sexy even at a young age, girls actually view that as separate than actual intercourse and do not mentally relate it. At that age, they think about kissing and making out, but not actually trying to get pregnant for the most part. It is not viewed through your eyes by girls. Girls in the US view it as being " normal" to do these things. Actual sex is a completely separate matter in our minds. We do not view these as being related. Dressing and dancing sexy for girls is like celebrating their freedom and it makes them feel happy and free. The way this is viewed from male perspective is completely different.

You see, girls do this for themselves, not caring what someone else has to say about it. They aren't doing it for anyone but themselves. They still do this when alone or with other girls because it really isn't about boys in the first place.

So, here's something interesting.

"Sexy" isn't a constant. To be that, someone else has to perceive you as such. By definition. Otherwise you aren't being sexy, you just are.


So by that definition, someone somewhere taught em that this thing called "sexy" exists, did they not learn that by definition to be sexy is to be seen as sexy by people attracted to people like you? That it requires someone else to observe and affirm your being as one that can be described as sexy?

Even if you personally aren't being affirmed, by mimicking someone else's version of sexy you are enjoying the reaction that person got out of men, the attention men gave that person, that's what you covet when you are being sexy by yourself where nobody notices, whether you realize it or not.

Like, I get rejoicing in the power to control the primal urges of others and what have you, I can understand why that's empowering and liberating, like superman learning to fly for the first time, testing his limits but trying not to crash onto a mountain at the same time. All that's fine.

What I don't get is how you can then go on to claim this is just something girls do for themselves and it has nothing to do with guys, when it is in the reaction of the guys that this empowerment is rooted in. I guess my question is, why, if not the above, does dancing and being sexy make you feel happy and free? What about it does that?

 

[BrawlMan]

You never played truth or dare or spin the bottle when you were a kid? I thought everyone did that. LOL

FTR, I never really done spin the bottle or truth or dare. I vaguely remember doing truth or dare once, but nothing crazy happened.

 

[Dreiko]

FTR, I never really done spin the bottle or truth or dare. I vaguely remember doing truth or dare once, but nothing crazy happened.

Oh yeah I forgot to reply to that bit, yeah never done those things either as a kid. I did sorta do truth or dare in college one time but it was pretty tame and I just went on with the truth every time cause I'm proudly shameless so nothing weird happened lol.

 

[lil devils x]

So, here's something interesting.

"Sexy" isn't a constant. To be that, someone else has to perceive you as such. By definition. Otherwise you aren't being sexy, you just are.


So by that definition, someone somewhere taught em that this thing called "sexy" exists, did they not learn that by definition to be sexy is to be seen as sexy by people attracted to people like you? That it requires someone else to observe and affirm your being as one that can be described as sexy?

Even if you personally aren't being affirmed, by mimicking someone else's version of sexy you are enjoying the reaction that person got out of men, the attention men gave that person, that's what you covet when you are being sexy by yourself where nobody notices.

Like, I get rejoicing in the power to control the primal urges of others and what have you, I can understand why that's empowering and liberating, like superman learning to fly for the first time, testing his limits but trying not to crash onto a mountain at the same time. All that's fine.

What I don't get is how you can then go on to claim this is just something girls do for themselves and it has nothing to do with guys, when it is in the reaction of the guys that this empowerment is rooted in.

Okay just to be clear, what I am referring to as " sexy" is not necessarily what a guy would. To a girl, when we talk about dancing "sexy", it isn't about how someone else observes us, but how it makes us feel. You need to understand that it has NOTHING to do with men as that isn't from a male point of view AT ALL.

Dancing sexy isn't even all about specific " moves" it is about how we feel inside and express it through dance. We feel free and beautiful in our spirit and care free and release it through dance. We may also learn dance moves to try from one another and try them for our own fun. You tying it into always having to do with men isn't accurate in how we feel about it ourselves. It doesn't factor into our thoughts about why we want to do it. That idea is from a male perspective, not a female one. The perspective of impacting males is " imposed upon us" not from within, it is like when I am dancing when cleaning my living room, it feels like an intrusion when I have to think about what my guy seems to think about it when he walks in. I wasn't doing it with him in mind, but rather for myself, and even thinking about what he thinks about it makes you self conscious. Girls like to dance for themselves more than anything else.

You being a guy, you see it only through your eyes and assume that everything is about guys. I assure you, it is not. We dance even when you are not around. The empowerment is being able to express what we feel inside and not be ashamed. That has nothing to do with guys. It is celebrating being able to let go to be care free and not worry about what other's think that is so sexy to us.

 

[lil devils x]

FTR, I never really done spin the bottle or truth or dare. I vaguely remember doing truth or dare once, but nothing crazy happened.

Oh yeah I forgot to reply to that bit, yeah never done those things either as a kid. I did sorta do truth or dare in college one time but it was pretty tame and I just went on with the truth every time cause I'm proudly shameless so nothing weird happened lol.

I guess I had a wilder time of it than most. We played this many times growing up and it always got crazy.. I had to lick a naked statue's parts once on a dare. Even outside those games we had crazy stuff constantly happen.

One time I spent the night at my friend Shannon's house in the 8th grade. She apparently had body issues I didn't think about at that age, and when I think about it now I am not mad at her anymore and feel sort of bad for her now at the time I was so angry though reacted rather badly. We were supposed to go to a swim party that afternoon and I went to take a shower to get ready. I took off my grandmothers antique ring I always wore that she had left me before she died so this ring was really important to me and my connection to my grandmother. While I was in the shower, apparently not only did Shannon come into the bathroom and steal my ring, she went through my bag and found my bikini and cut it up with scissors. She didn't want me wearing it around her boyfriend at the time because she thought I looked better in my suit than she did. She thought if she cut it up I would just not swim or have to wear shorts and a shirt or something I guess.

So I get out of the shower and I ask her if she saw my ring and she said no and then has the nerves to "pretend" help me look for it. I finally say we can look for it when we get back and I go to get my suit so we can leave. It is not in my bag and I am wondering WTH?! SO Shannon goes into her bathroom to change into her suit, while she is in there.. I noticed a strap that looked like my suit hanging from her dresser drawer and sure enough there was my suit in pieces. I was so pissed but remained calm. Was time to go so I played along. This was the first time me and her boyfriend had met. He was a very nice well built senior in military school..I see why she was so worried, but I was really hurt at the time for what she had done to me. Even though she had a suit she was like afraid to get off her chair. He had jumped in the pool and asked if we were coming in, she said she might in a bit and was still being pretty pissy about the whole thing. I said sure, gave her a pretty dirty look and proceeded to strip and dive in the pool butt arse naked. when I surfaced, I saw the look of horror on her face and looked her dead in the eye and said, " if you hadn't cut my swimsuit up I would have had something else to wear". Anyhow. Looking back, I think it was a pretty ***** thing to do on my part, because she had self esteem issues, but I didn't think about it that way at the time due to what she did to me, but yea one thing lead to another and her ex boyfriend wind up asking me to his prom that year. Then again I feel less bad about it when I found out later she wound up pawning my grandmas ring for coke years later. She told one of my other friends about it and they went and got it out of pawn for me so that was pretty cool of them to do for me.

Girls do crazy stupid shit all the time during those years. We go through so much and so many changes and it all seems to be a whirlwind of events. I can imagine it leaves the boys that are around us during it all pretty confused as well. I am sure they have no idea what to think of what is happening when all the girls seem to be going crazy at once. LMAO!

 

[Dwarvenhobble]

Not my thing at all. But that said cultures around the world are different. In Japan the age of consent is something absurd, like 12 or 13. Would it be fair to get up in arms over a documentary of Japanese sexual relations? Maybe? I dunno.
But people are taking this as read meat for the whole Q-Anon/Hollywood is all Pedos dog-whistles.

Also pretty sure the US still do toddler fashion show/strip teases, so glass houses...

Not quite true it was initially down to individual local administrations to set the age but a national one supersedes all those now and I think it's 16. I think it's something like the Philippines or something that has the lowest at like 14.

 

[Agema]

Okay just to be clear, what I am referring to as " sexy" is not necessarily what a guy would. To a girl, when we talk about dancing "sexy", it isn't about how someone else observes us, but how it makes us feel. You need to understand that it has NOTHING to do with men as that isn't from a male point of view AT ALL.

Well, That's where you're doing it wrong. You're supposed to be making men feel good, it's your duty as a woman.

 

[Dreiko]

I guess I had a wilder time of it than most. We played this many times growing up and it always got crazy.. I had to lick a naked statue's parts once on a dare. Even outside those games we had crazy stuff constantly happen.

One time I spent the night at my friend Shannon's house in the 8th grade. She apparently had body issues I didn't think about at that age, and when I think about it now I am not mad at her anymore and feel sort of bad for her now at the time I was so angry though reacted rather badly. We were supposed to go to a swim party that afternoon and I went to take a shower to get ready. I took off my grandmothers antique ring I always wore that she had left me before she died so this ring was really important to me and my connection to my grandmother. While I was in the shower, apparently not only did Shannon come into the bathroom and steal my ring, she went through my bag and found my bikini and cut it up with scissors. She didn't want me wearing it around her boyfriend at the time because she thought I looked better in my suit than she did. She thought if she cut it up I would just not swim or have to wear shorts and a shirt or something I guess.

So I get out of the shower and I ask her if she saw my ring and she said no and then has the nerves to "pretend" help me look for it. I finally say we can look for it when we get back and I go to get my suit so we can leave. It is not in my bag and I am wondering WTH?! SO Shannon goes into her bathroom to change into her suit, while she is in there.. I noticed a strap that looked like my suit hanging from her dresser drawer and sure enough there was my suit in pieces. I was so pissed but remained calm. Was time to go so I played along. This was the first time me and her boyfriend had met. He was a very nice well built senior in military school..I see why she was so worried, but I was really hurt at the time for what she had done to me. Even though she had a suit she was like afraid to get off her chair. He had jumped in the pool and asked if we were coming in, she said she might in a bit and was still being pretty pissy about the whole thing. I said sure, gave her a pretty dirty look and proceeded to strip and dive in the pool butt arse naked. when I surfaced, I saw the look of horror on her face and looked her dead in the eye and said, " if you hadn't cut my swimsuit up I would have had something else to wear". Anyhow. Looking back, I think it was a pretty ***** thing to do on my part, because she had self esteem issues, but I didn't think about it that way at the time due to what she did to me, but yea one thing lead to another and her ex boyfriend wind up asking me to his prom that year. Then again I feel less bad about it when I found out later she wound up pawning my grandmas ring for coke years later. She told one of my other friends about it and they went and got it out of pawn for me so that was pretty cool of them to do for me.

Girls do crazy stupid shit all the time during those years. We go through so much and so many changes and it all seems to be a whirlwind of events. I can imagine it leaves the boys that are around us during it all pretty confused as well. I am sure they have no idea what to think of what is happening when all the girls seem to be going crazy at once. LMAO!

Haha wow, was about to ask you if you ever got that ring back cause that sucks.

And yeah I see this as more of an issue of "normie-gamer/geek" divide here. During my prom I was at home playing final fantasy XI not giving a damn about proms or those tools that'd go to it XD. Never were in environments where girls and bikinis and pools would all be in proximity to each-other at that age range either. So yeah, lots of different life experiences inform this.

 

[Dreiko]

Okay just to be clear, what I am referring to as " sexy" is not necessarily what a guy would. To a girl, when we talk about dancing "sexy", it isn't about how someone else observes us, but how it makes us feel. You need to understand that it has NOTHING to do with men as that isn't from a male point of view AT ALL.

Dancing sexy isn't even all about specific " moves" it is about how we feel inside and express it through dance. We feel free and beautiful in our spirit and care free and release it through dance. We may also learn dance moves to try from one another and try them for our own fun. You tying it into always having to do with men isn't accurate in how we feel about it ourselves. It doesn't factor into our thoughts about why we want to do it. That idea is from a male perspective, not a female one. The perspective of impacting males is " imposed upon us" not from within, it is like when I am dancing when cleaning my living room, it feels like an intrusion when I have to think about what my guy seems to think about it when he walks in. I wasn't doing it with him in mind, but rather for myself, and even thinking about what he thinks about it makes you self conscious. Girls like to dance for themselves more than anything else.

You being a guy, you see it only through your eyes and assume that everything is about guys. I assure you, it is not. We dance even when you are not around. The empowerment is being able to express what we feel inside and not be ashamed. That has nothing to do with guys. It is celebrating being able to let go to be care free and not worry about what other's think that is so sexy to us.

Yeah but that's not sexy then, that's just dancing. In this movie they have the girls dance sexy in the way that's intended for guys I assume.

Also, it's kinda difficult to not be sexy if you're female and of a certain age and look, even if you don't intend to. It's why the muslims have those ninja suits they put women in, and what this girl in the story here is rebelling against.

It's not something that men just came up with one day to oppress women, it's just how humans work. Trying to pretend we don't work that way because it makes you feel self-conscious is not very productive I don't think. Nor of course is putting on the ninja suit when you're not on a top secret mission. I think the right approach here is to not feel "creeped up on", for a lack of a better term, for something completely natural. To not perceive it negatively.

 

[lil devils x]

Haha wow, was about to ask you if you ever got that ring back cause that sucks.

And yeah I see this as more of an issue of "normie-gamer/geek" divide here. During my prom I was at home playing final fantasy XI not giving a damn about proms or those tools that'd go to it XD. Never were in environments where girls and bikinis and pools would all be in proximity to each-other at that age range either. So yeah, lots of different life experiences inform this.

Yea, I went to the senior prom every single year of school since the 8th grade. Hell, even when I go to a high school now I have been asked a couple of times. I think that is just a difference between males and females though. The guys who have to courage to ask out the girls usually get all the dates, bikini girls and skinny dipping swimming pool parties lol

 

[Dreiko]

Yea, I went to the senior prom every single year of school since the 8th grade. Hell, even when I go to a high school now I have been asked a couple of times. I think that is just a difference between males and females though. The guys who have to courage to ask out the girls usually get all the dates, bikini girls and skinny dipping swimming pool parties lol

Where I grew up it doesn't really work the same way, it's more like a class party than something you ask people to. So what it boils down to is you have to on the spot ask someone to dance with you when everyone is already gathered there. Add to that the fact that I legit wasn't into anyone from my class and there just wasn't any worth bothering with it when I had my Thief subjob to level! XD

 

[lil devils x]

Yeah but that's not sexy then, that's just dancing. In this movie they have the girls dance sexy in the way that's intended for guys I assume.

Also, it's kinda difficult to not be sexy if you're female and of a certain age and look, even if you don't intend to. It's why the muslims have those ninja suits they put women in, and what this girl in the story here is rebelling against.

It's not something that men just came up with one day to oppress women, it's just how humans work. Trying to pretend we don't work that way because it makes you feel self-conscious is not very productive I don't think. Nor of course is putting on the ninja suit when you're not on a top secret mission. I think the right approach here is to not feel "creeped up on", for a lack of a better term, for something completely natural. To not perceive it negatively.

Sometimes it is perceived negatively, and should be. The guy pulling up trying to get us into his car? My brother was only like 10 but did a pretty good smashing to his car with that bat. LOL

Due to the way guys often behave is WHY we perceive it negatively. I didn't know what guys were thinking until they started to tell us.. and then we are like ? OMG really?! Girls are going to feel the way that girls are going to feel one way or another. Telling us that " it is natural" and the solution is for us to not be creeped out. Isn't going to make us feel any less creeped out. The difference is girls are not IMPOSING themselves upon guys by dancing. The guys reactions however often do IMPOSE upon the girls. The person doing the imposing is who needs to check themselves. Not the other way around.

Also, you should understand that when girls are " just dancing" guys still call it sexy dancing. We can do twerking or whatever while just dancing too, that has nothing to do with guys either. In fact, the tribe where twerking originated the dance was usually just done among women without men there traditionally. It is funny though that guys seem to think it is always just about them.

 

[lil devils x]

Where I grew up it doesn't really work the same way, it's more like a class party than something you ask people to. So what it boils down to is you have to on the spot ask someone to dance with you when everyone is already gathered there. Add to that the fact that I legit wasn't into anyone from my class and there just wasn't any worth bothering with it when I had my Thief subjob to level! XD

For their Senior prom? That sounds like an elementary school valentines dance, not a senior prom. LOL
The senior prom IS a date, the guy shows up all decked out with flowers for his girl, kisses your hand, meets the parents, takes you to prom, dinner , after party.. The whole thing usually costs a fortune.

 

[Dreiko]

Sometimes it is perceived negatively, and should be. The guy pulling up trying to get us into his car? My brother was only like 10 but did a pretty good smashing to his car with that bat. LOL

Due to the way guys often behave is WHY we perceive it negatively. I didn't know what guys were thinking until they started to tell us.. and then we are like ? OMG really?! Girls are going to feel the way that girls are going to feel one way or another. Telling us that " it is natural" and the solution is for us to not be creeped out. Isn't going to make us feel any less creeped out. The difference is girls are not IMPOSING themselves upon guys by dancing. The guys reactions however often do IMPOSE upon the girls. The person doing the imposing is who needs to check themselves. Not the other way around.

I think there's a pretty big difference between someone who'd try to get you on the car when they've never met you before and what I'm talking about, that's fine to be creeped up over but not because that act stems from him finding you hot but by his breach of social protocol and general bizzareness thereof. I think you're putting the blame on the wrong element in that equation. Nobody's gonna tell you to be fine with that sort of thing lmao.

Anything you do where you impose on someone instantly puts you in the wrong, there's no argument about that from anyone. The problem with that is that you violate the other person's rights and personal space and so on, not that your finding them hot made you want to violate their rightd. I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about those times when no such thing occurs. No need to feel self-conscious during those times. It's like being generally afraid of dogs because a dog bit you once, I never understood that in people.

 

[Dreiko]

For their Senior prom? That sounds like an elementary school valentines dance, not a senior prom. LOL
The senior prom IS a date, the guy shows up all decked out with flowers for his girl, kisses your hand, meets the parents, takes you to prom, dinner , after party.. The whole thing usually costs a fortune.

Yeah that's an American custom. The Greek take was much less ostentatious lol.

 

[lil devils x]

I think there's a pretty big difference between someone who'd try to get you on the car when they've never met you before and what I'm talking about, that's fine to be creeped up over but not because that act stems from him finding you hot but by his breach of social protocol and general bizzareness thereof. I think you're putting the blame on the wrong element in that equation. Nobody's gonna tell you to be fine with that sort of thing lmao.

Anything you do where you impose on someone instantly puts you in the wrong, there's no argument about that from anyone. The problem with that is that you violate the other person's rights and personal space and so on, not that your finding them hot made you want to violate their rightd. I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about those times when no such thing occurs. No need to feel self-conscious during those times. It's like being generally afraid of dogs because a dog bit you once, I never understood that in people.

How is that any different though? Is the guy still imposing himself by staring at you thinking you are only dancing for him? The reality is that if someone finds you attractive, they will think that everything you do is sexy, not that what you are doing has anything to do with the person who thinks that you are sexy.

Guys tell me the way I walk is sexy, how I move my hair, the way I read... I think that it is just about whether they are attracted to you or not that alters their perception rather than what it is you are actually doing. I do not intentionally "read sexy" to make some guy happy. The same goes with everything else we do whether it is dance or anything else for that matter. It shouldn't be on the girl to adjust her own actions due to what some guy thinks.

 

[Dreiko]

How is that any different though? The reality is that if someone finds you attractive, they will think that everything you do is sexy, not that what you are doing has anything to do with the person who thinks that you are sexy.

Guys tell me the way I walk is sexy, how I move my hair, the way I read... I think that it is just about whether they are attracted to you or not that alters their perception rather than what it is you are actually doing.

Yeah I'm saying if the guy isn't also doing something that breaches social protocol and is crazy on top of that like asking you to get in his car when you don't know who the hell he is, that's not something to be creeped out over.

 

[lil devils x]

Yeah I'm saying if the guy isn't also doing something that breaches social protocol and is crazy on top of that like asking you to get in his car when you don't know who the hell he is, that's not something to be creeped out over.

Hell even when you do know who he is it isn't that much better. * Remembers the night Cara asked me to go to a movie with her and her bf and then tried to set me up with his friend " Chris" and I spent about 30 minutes literally running around the car trying to put obstacles between us while they made out trying to escape lizard tongue guy who I had no interest in dating. Knowing or not knowing them doesn't necessarily change that. It is about whether the attraction is mutual and you actually additionally consent to that action. Even when you are attracted to someone , it doesn't mean you are wanting to do whatever they want to do at the time as well.