Recent content by Corporal Yakob

  1. Corporal Yakob

    Assassin's Creed III Limited Edition for Americans Only

    I liked how one of the trailers has Connor telling a Continental soldier that the Patriots can fight their own war, he's only here for the Templars-and then in the very next trailer Connor is sailing a ship proudly bearing the Rebel colours and sinking half the Royal Navy.
  2. Corporal Yakob

    Assassin's Creed III Limited Edition for Americans Only

    Colonel Tavington I presume! I'm seriously hoping that George Washington is secretly the master Templar, like Al Mualim was in the first game. Obviously that won't happen and I'll be forced to effortlessly slaughter thousands upon thousands of British soldiers.
  3. Corporal Yakob

    The Fifth Crusade (Game Thread)

    Love? Harvest festivals? Dancing!?! Good lord is that how the commoners saw their lot in life!?! Jacob thanked God for his good fortune in belonging to the nobility-a life of fighting for a worthy cause and becoming counted amongst the great, honourable and glorious of England was much more...
  4. Corporal Yakob

    The Fifth Crusade (Game Thread)

    The knight shook his head, trying to find comfort on his simple bed. "It is not men or coin our King lacks, but will. He does not press the French hard enough and they take advantage of his womanly nature. My father fought long and hard for the soft-sword and all he earned was injury and...
  5. Corporal Yakob

    The Fifth Crusade (Game Thread)

    This Samuel fellow must certainly be a veteran: any other person of common birth would never have addressed a nobleman without proper awe. In spite of that, Jacob was pleased to able to understand someone, if only barely, and in doing so, understand his precarious situation. From what he could...
  6. Corporal Yakob

    State-Funded Iranian Videogame Continues Rushdie Fatwa

    Filthy athiest heathen that I am, I'd play that: "Press X to behead the infidel!" Related: I wish there were more games about the Iran-Iraq war of the 80s, that'd be (and was) an interesting blend of trench warfare, religious fanaticism and modern military technology.
  7. Corporal Yakob

    The Fifth Crusade (Game Thread)

    A soldier armoured in studded leather and displaying a promiement cross around his neck began speaking to Jacob, talking with the air of a veteran, an impression assisted by the handful of Crusaders following him. Although the scruffy haired man spoke Flemish as a comrade saw to his battered...
  8. Corporal Yakob

    How Many of Your Favourite Films Pass "the Bechdel Test"?

    (Looks at his favourite movies, most about WW2 and not partisan organisations or spies) Well so much for that then.....
  9. Corporal Yakob

    Gay Oreo Inspires Internet Outrage

    GOD HATES OREOS AND SO SHOULD YOU. Captcha: "It will pass" Gay friendly sweets!?! Not if I can help it-bring me one hundred Werther's Originals so I can carve crude breasts on half of them!
  10. Corporal Yakob

    Hitman: Absolution Dev Says Most Players Won't Finish the Game

    I accept your challenge IO-I completed Freedom Fighters twice after all! But surely the best way to keep people playing to the very end would be to make a compelling game? Or develop a game mechanic that spews five dollar notes from the console for every hour played.
  11. Corporal Yakob

    The Fifth Crusade (Game Thread)

    French, Arabic, Latin: it was all foreign to Sir Jacob, who knew barely enough French as it was, let alone these more complex languages. However, the other's body language, whilst tense when the Moslem had approached and begun to talk to a fellow who understood his tongue, showed no sign of open...
  12. Corporal Yakob

    Poll: Choose a Chaos God to Worship

    You're all filthy traitor scum! You will all burn in the Emperor's light! That said, I've always liked the more ornate Thousand Sons Marines.....
  13. Corporal Yakob

    Did biology screw over women?

    Just imagine how easy and exiciting even the most mundane task would become with lasor eyes! Pay the postman? Lasor eyes! Clean the smoking ash from your front-garden? Lasor eyes! Calm the neighbours down? Lasor eyes! Politely and clearly explain the situation to the police? Lasor eyes!
  14. Corporal Yakob

    Did biology screw over women?

    I think biology screwed over the entire human race by not giving us lasor-eyes.
  15. Corporal Yakob

    Who do we blame for this?

    Would it be too optimistic to think that the reason people love it is because at the end, the now no-longer naive girl packs in the life of submission and cuts off the older dude's goolies, perhaps stealing his money in the process?