Recent content by Soxafloppin

  1. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    All human-on-human use of weapons is no more, but learning that Diablo III originally released with a player-to-player auction house where real money is traded for loot found by others sends you into such a blind fury that you seek to fist-fight literally everyone who worked on Diablo III; all...
  2. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Granted, but the Auction House is now in all Blizzard AND Activision games. I wish those two never joined forces.
  3. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    I direct exciting and fantastical movies with commercial and critical success on a regular basis, but I also become a serial killer who targets anybody who enjoys alcohol and get away with it because my filming locations are all over the world. I wish life never started on any planet.
  4. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Granted, but the script is turned into DLC for the game and you have to play THAT to get the good ending. I wish Tera Nova had Season 2, with the dino-rider pirates as promised.
  5. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Infinitely and rapidly spawning tacos completely overwhelm all space in the Universe and collapse everything we've ever known into a new cosmic egg. I wish for everyone to have perfect metabolism, completely negating the need of bathrooms.
  6. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Your dead-end job resembles a cross between a barber and Gamestop clerk; all you do is plug martial arts programs into customers' cybernetic skulls and they leave knowing all the moves. I wish you didn't give me that obvious opportunity to reference The Matrix.
  7. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    You have perfect health, but Secret Orders task you with faking a chemical terrorist attack via remote drone on a water park. I wish for A penny.
  8. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Sure thing, but you're in a mansion full of zombies and there are no guns handy. I wish for a movie to be made that is A Bug's Life crossed with Dracula; I call it...Tarancula.
  9. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Your wish for "I now only wish for different shades of off white to appear less regularly in paint catalogs these days." is granted, so that's what you wished for. I wish to not make a wish.
  10. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Hayley Williams is secretly a serial mutilator with a penis collection. I wish it wasn't this easy to turn your obvious fantasies against you.
  11. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Your house is fine, but you're still arrested for harboring a dangerous animal. I wish teaching cats to use the toilet (a real thing) was normal enough that kitty litter isn't even a viable product.
  12. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    With nothing to do, that man who has been disarming over 30,000 of his own landmines since the Vietnam War gets bored and starts killing innocent children. I wish to understand some peoples' murderous obsession with shiny things like gold.
  13. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    Within hours, it burns your house down and is effectively captured and put to "sleep" by animal control. I wish I was never gifted that $200 baby iguana who ran off and got eaten by a cat.
  14. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    The Sissors are all arrested after their loss in Anaheim for steroid abuse, the timing is thanks to corruption in sports management. I wish professional sports didn't have anything to it beyond the athletes (authentically) performing well; no merchandise, no audience, no drugs.
  15. Soxafloppin

    Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

    The money you pull is all foreign currency and not even in pocket-worthy condition. I wish the Lego Deathstroke I found in the grass today had his legs and weapon.