Eurovision Thread: Resurrected in Liverpool

McElroy

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Dunno if anybody follows the biggest non-political international song competition of any given year. The second semi-final is underway in about thirty minutes and the first half two days ago... less said the better. Honestly a weak as hell showing. And yeah, the no politics is ironic af when Ukraine gets sympathy points for existing. Anyway, I'll report my thoughts on anything interesting.

About the songs that went through to the final: Ukraine sounds like their last years bid but with annoying rap verses. Lithuania's singer has a nice dress and beauty to behold, but the song isn't super. Swiss entry went into the forgettable ballad pile along with Armenia. Iceland was incredibly forgettable. Dutch gave a performance in Flemish, so that's cool I guess. Norway has a meme song in the spirit of What Does the Fox Say? but unoriginal and shit. Moldova is pretty weird; they deserve some points for that. Portugal similarly is very forgettable. Greece's song is maybe the best of the bunch and at the very least it stuck with me for a bit. And the singer is pretty. Pretty singers are my weakness.

edit. Oh yeah and the stage is much worse compared to last year.
 
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McElroy

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About last year: eight out of the top ten performances were all great. 2022 has to put up a lot of quality stuff in order to match that or even half of it.
 

McElroy

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Finland: Obviously the best, and honestly not too bad, funny balloons.
Israel: Unapologetic gay pop. While Eurovision is pretty gay this is a repellent for anyone that's not a fan of the "genre".
Serbia: Interesting. Yes.
Azerbaijan: A very muted ballad. Weird staging. Forgettable.
Georgia: Insane.
Malta: Get the fuck outta here with this shit.
San Marino: Gotta say I laughed out loud while they were on. The song is bad but the show is so ultra glam gay that you can't help but enjoy it for what it is.
Australia: Autism. And gay too I guess. Whatever, though in a better song you could enjoy the guy's vocals.
Cyprus: She is pretty but the song is weird.
Ireland: How many million break up songs like this have we heard over the decades? Still better than some of the 1st semi-final entries.
tbc...
 
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McElroy

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North Macedonia: Boring
Estonia: Derivative but the performance ramps up and is actually really good.
Romania didn't leave an impression.
Poland: Decent I guess.
Montenegro gets lost in the bunch of similar ones.
Belgium: Not bad. Familiar sound you often hear in the radio I'd say.
Sweden: Whoops, Sweden once again puts in the best of the show.
Czech: Not bad but has to follow up Sweden.
I'll highlight the finalists.
 

McElroy

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Yeah it's totally political. Ukraine took 439 points out of possible 468 in the televote. Virtue signaling of the highest degree.
 

Chimpzy

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Yeah it's totally political.
Eh, yeah, of course it is? There's always been a blatant undercurrent of geopolitics in Eurovision, despite any claims or policies of the opposite. Like, that's no secret, and why most consider it a joke as a competition of actual artistic merit.
 

McElroy

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Eh, yeah, of course it is? There's always been a blatant undercurrent of geopolitics in Eurovision, despite any claims or policies of the opposite. Like, that's no secret, and why most consider it a joke as a competition of actual artistic merit.
Yes yes yes. The best songs took the top spots last year though, and usually the best song wins. I dunno if Ryder's was the best, top 3 definitely like Sweden and I like Serbia's very unusual performance too. Ukraine already won in 2016 because of politics.
 
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Catfood220

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As soon as I heard the Ukraine were in this year's Eurovision, I knew there was no point in anyone else competing. So with the tradition of the winner hosting next years contest, is next years contest going to be held in a warzone? That would make things interesting.

Mind you, the one and only time I gave a flying fuck about Eurovision was when Lordi won. I mean, look at this, its awesome.


2006? Where have the years gone?
 
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Bedinsis

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Eh, yeah, of course it is? There's always been a blatant undercurrent of geopolitics in Eurovision, despite any claims or policies of the opposite. Like, that's no secret, and why most consider it a joke as a competition of actual artistic merit.
No? If people vote more for entries from countries that are physically closer to themselves then that reflects a musical taste that is similar in the two countries, not any political considerations.
 

Terminal Blue

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I only watched the finals, but selected highlights.

I also wasn't a fan of Ukraine's entry. They were kind of robbed last year, but yeah, their response seems to have been to send a worse hybrid-folk act. Also, the rapping just sounds like 90s white people rap and I can't unhear it.

France tried to do the same thing as well, which is honestly a refreshing change for them. They tend to send very low key nouvelle-chanson vocal numbers because those are popular in France, but it never plays well for them because it doesn't have international appeal.

The UK has also been guilty of overly venerating "classic" UK pop music and not tailoring its entries for an international audience. I still think the UK entry was kind of rubbish this year, but it was at least accessible which I think is why it did so much better than previous UK entries.

Iceland really grew on me. It's a low key song with understated staging but partly as a result it took on a really camp appeal (which I'm not sure was intentional). Definately the best of the weird country-and-western inspired trend this year, and probably the best of the slow ballads.

Spain was kind of robbed this year. Come to think of it, choreographed dancing seems to be out this year in this year in general, but their performance alone was great and deserved more.

Sweden was pretty forgettable this year. They're normally very good at judging what's going to play well at Eurovision but I feel like they've slipped into a formula and its wearing thin.

Norway. Basically the early 2000s "lol, random" kids of Europe, and playing completely to type here. Thanks, I hated it.

Australia. Look, I don't know if this is a cultural thing (I don't think so) but you cannot market trauma to queer people. That's what horror movies are for. Queer trauma becomes fun when you focus on the ways we hide it, not when it's sincere. We have all had to learn that straight people don't care how shitty they made our childhoods, they enjoyed it and they would do it again. At least the look was snatched.

Czech Republic had an underrated song and an underrated performance. Not necessarily good, just underrated.

Finland I actually didn't like. I lived through this era once, I don't need to live it again.
 

Gordon_4

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Australia. Look, I don't know if this is a cultural thing (I don't think so) but you cannot market trauma to queer people. That's what horror movies are for. Queer trauma becomes fun when you focus on the ways we hide it, not when it's sincere. We have all had to learn that straight people don't care how shitty they made our childhoods, they enjoyed it and they would do it again. At least the look was snatched.
……What the merry fuck did we DO?
 

McElroy

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A year gone by and the Eurovision Song Contest is upon us again! In Liverpool because the UK placed 2nd last time and they can't host in Ukraine for the time being.

1st semi
Norway: cute singer, decent setup, song is energetic but very derivative
Malta: a colorful and funny performance, leans on the sax a bit too much
Serbia: what is this mecha-kaiju thing? whispering? huh? pretty original I must admit
Latvia: boring
Portugal: a pleasant surprise, got the Iberian spirit in there
Ireland: it's the most boring motif for a Eurovision song and the dude's suit is just ridiculous in a non-flattering way (he's gay, we get it).
Croatia: lmao. Ridiculous in a good way. What a nasty grandma.
Switzerland: one of the better live edits on this one, clean and simple choreography. Don't really like the song, though.
Israel: though the singer is a 1st rate bombshell the song is clearly 2nd rate. Spicy floor moves are always welcome.
Moldova: they got The Flute Tune, so that's already some pizzazz. Otherwise it didn't strike with me too much.
Sweden: There is a song originally published on Newgrounds called Chaoz Fantasy and unfortunately the Swedish producers found the winning move - imitate Chaoz Fantasy. Memorable hook, excellent performance, great setup. Deserves to win, unless...
Azerbaijan: never been a fan of this style of pop music. Twin no 1 almost lost his bass guitar.
Chechia: we've heard a few of these girl power songs before and they've performed well (Toy even won), but I doubt this one has the chops. Can't keep track of the languages used.
The Netherlands: would've fallen asleep if it wasn't for the next performance...
Finland: looking like a biker who switched his jacket for a lime green bolero, Käärijä performs in Finnish. The song is funny, catchy, follows an interesting progression, has a cheap-looking but memorable set, and there's a funny dance move that everybody can enjoy.
 

McElroy

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Denmark: missed this one
Armenia: this one too
Romania: pretty weird
Estonia: good performance, ghost piano is memorable
Belgium: straightforward gay pop, the musical hook is one of the best of the show
Cyprus: another Swedish-made pop ballad sung by some dude
Iceland: forgettable song with unintentionally funny choreography of the singer flailing around
Greece: the singing is interesting here, imo, the song as a whole seems very personal to this young lad - having written it himself and all
Poland: catchy, however I'm getting it (the song's called Solo) mixed up with last year's SloMo as well as some other pop song I can't recall right now
Slovenia: I like the chorus, otherwise leaves no imprint
Georgia: singer tries an unintelligible ASMR routine and seems to lean on that for fuck's sake
San Marino: they get over a thousand songs sent to them and choose this budget Måneskin
Austria: elements of the song remind me of Toby Fox's Death by Glamour, while the subject matter is a bit embarrassing
Albania: the family moment is nice and all, but the song might be too Albanian for many to relate to
Lithuania: nice legs but these pop ballads are a dime in a dozen
Australia: uneven synth-rock with a heavy metal bridge, maybe the band could've had it in them to try a little more...
 

Ag3ma

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Denmark: missed this one
Armenia: this one too
Romania: pretty weird
Estonia: good performance, ghost piano is memorable
Belgium: straightforward gay pop, the musical hook is one of the best of the show
Cyprus: another Swedish-made pop ballad sung by some dude
Iceland: forgettable song with unintentionally funny choreography of the singer flailing around
Greece: the singing is interesting here, imo, the song as a whole seems very personal to this young lad - having written it himself and all
Poland: catchy, however I'm getting it (the song's called Solo) mixed up with last year's SloMo as well as some other pop song I can't recall right now
Slovenia: I like the chorus, otherwise leaves no imprint
Georgia: singer tries an unintelligible ASMR routine and seems to lean on that for fuck's sake
San Marino: they get over a thousand songs sent to them and choose this budget Måneskin
Austria: elements of the song remind me of Toby Fox's Death by Glamour, while the subject matter is a bit embarrassing
Albania: the family moment is nice and all, but the song might be too Albanian for many to relate to
Lithuania: nice legs but these pop ballads are a dime in a dozen
Australia: uneven synth-rock with a heavy metal bridge, maybe the band could've had it in them to try a little more...
Doesn't Albania submit a power ballad every fucking year? Or is it just me?

Thankfully Romania didn't make it. Lordy, but that was awful. Genuinely, tragically, terrible. Bad song, hysterical and overblown "dark" lyrics completely inconsistent with the guy's pink schoolboy outfit, and a dull performance with some woman randomly running on (as part of the act, not a stage invader) for the last ten seconds.

Actually, I wish a couple of these stinkers could get into the Grand Final. Eurovision quality has increased a lot over the years, but there's still some schadenfreude to be savoured for the really bad ones.
 

McElroy

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Eh. Sweden wins through juries. Tattoo has much of the same DNA as ABBA's Winner Takes it All and the Swedish sure know their stuff around Eurovision pop songs. Funny enough in the popular vote Käärijä got 12 from Sweden, but Finns gave no points to Loreen. It didn't come that close in the end, but people here squeezed the biggest advantage they could.

Italy: the singer seems to be a variation of the same guy again and leaving out Måneskin so is the song
France: they go with a similar formula as Barbara Pravi a couple of years ago. I don't think the song is bad but Voilà was simply better and had no need for a thumping beat behind the vocals.
Spain: can't get into this, sorry
Ukraine: graphics by Unreal Engine I imagine
Germany: last in the final but the song is better than Australia's imo, maybe the act got too glammy
the UK: somebody else should've written it...
and since I now saw and heard Armenia: a super slick setup, but perhaps a dance break too much and the genre shift works better in Cha cha cha.

Anyway. Norway got jury-shanked even more badly than Finland did. Belgium's gay pop did pretty well. Good songs from Estonia and Austria got shanked by the audience instead.
 

Ag3ma

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Eh. Sweden wins through juries. Tattoo has much of the same DNA as ABBA's Winner Takes it All and the Swedish sure know their stuff around Eurovision pop songs. Funny enough in the popular vote Käärijä got 12 from Sweden, but Finns gave no points to Loreen. It didn't come that close in the end, but people here squeezed the biggest advantage they could.

Italy: the singer seems to be a variation of the same guy again and leaving out Måneskin so is the song
France: they go with a similar formula as Barbara Pravi a couple of years ago. I don't think the song is bad but Voilà was simply better and had no need for a thumping beat behind the vocals.
Spain: can't get into this, sorry
Ukraine: graphics by Unreal Engine I imagine
Germany: last in the final but the song is better than Australia's imo, maybe the act got too glammy
the UK: somebody else should've written it...
and since I now saw and heard Armenia: a super slick setup, but perhaps a dance break too much and the genre shift works better in Cha cha cha.

Anyway. Norway got jury-shanked even more badly than Finland did. Belgium's gay pop did pretty well. Good songs from Estonia and Austria got shanked by the audience instead.
I actually saw this in the Eurovision village in Liverpool. Good atmosphere, and great job by the organisers and Liverpool.

Yep. I wasn't that impressed by Sweden. I totally get why it won, but it was too much like Euphoria and Winner Takes It All (I didn't actually get the song name to mind, but I recognised it as Abba), and that was sort of disappointing.

The bad:
  • Italy: Wow. Italy was for me a classic WTF? Eurovision moment. I thought it was genuinely awful. Nonentity of a song, unspectacularly delivered. I thought it would be a contender for bottom of the table, and I am gobsmacked it picked up so many votes.
  • Spain: Meh x 100
  • UK: Did this really deserve to come second last? I think perhaps the song was left side quality, but I guess she really did not perform or gel with the audiences.
The successful but mediocre:
  • Israel did well: I didn't rate it at all, mediocre song but a glossy production so I can see why it picked up votes. And what the fuck is the power of a unicorn??? (Apart from the answer below)
  • Estonia: A bit like Italy. I thought this was an extremely average song that did really nothing at all, and was very surprised it did well. I would note that I was wearing a blue, black and white striped T-shirt by chance, but no-one seemed to think I was an Estonia supporter.
  • Finland: Best score in the popular vote. I sort of get it, but I don't think it was more annoying novelty song than real contender.
The good:
  • Norway: Uh, this really worked for me. I guess the song might be a bit simple for the juries (they similarly bounced Norway's a few years ago that had those sort of Laplander singers). I sort of dismissed it during the semis, but really enjoyed it on the finals. Did well with the popular vote (as it should) although the juries didn't like it. Probably my favourite.
  • I also kind of liked Serbia's entry. Just about no-one else appears to. Quite liked France's too, but for some reason France always crash and burn, even when they submit good songs.
 

Terminal Blue

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Eh. Sweden wins through juries. Tattoo has much of the same DNA as ABBA's Winner Takes it All and the Swedish sure know their stuff around Eurovision pop songs.
I was kind of bored for that very reason. Sweden seems to have settled on a formula for their Eurovision entries, and while it usually serves them pretty well it's getting super old.

It did lead to one of the most entertaining elements of the coverage though, Loreen's growing realization that she was going to have to perform while being visibly high as shit.

I didn't find myself weirdly drawn to anything in this lineup, but Käärijä's was absolutely my favourite performance. To me as someone who grew up listening to Rammstein, it felt like a homage by someone who really understood the whole sensibility and how to turn that into an actual show.

Little things like the dancers having those extremely white flourescent teeth. You don't notice it consciously at first, but makes your brain uncomfortable.

UK: Did this really deserve to come second last? I think perhaps the song was left side quality, but I guess she really did not perform or gel with the audiences
I feel like the performance didn't go well. The mixing was off with the vocal track being way too quiet, and I don't think she performed as well as she can. I don't think the song was necessarily bad or forgettable, but I can see how people didn't respond to it on the kind of emotional level people judge music they aren't particularly familiar with.

Quite liked France's too, but for some reason France always crash and burn, even when they submit good songs.
I feel like the staging was a huge mistake. It probably looked very impressive if you were there, but it didn't come across on television at all and meant that, while she's clearly a very good performer, she was extremely limited by literally being put on a pedestal.
 
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