Half-Life Barnacle Ceiling Lamp is the Best Worst Decor Ever

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Half-Life Barnacle Ceiling Lamp is the Best Worst Decor Ever

Here's a home decor idea you won't find at your local Ikea: a hideous, grotesque and all-too-lifelike Half-Life Barnacle ceiling lamp.

The most disgusting creature to come out of the Half-Life franchise, by far, has to be the Barnacle. They cling to ceilings, quivering and unseen, dangling their unearthly tongues as they wait to snare the unwary and suck them up into their foul maws. They're not much better dead, thanks to the belching, vomitorious shower of offal that results from killing them. They are grotesque abominations of nature.

They also make pretty cool home decor, at least in the eyes of German sculptor Daniel Ritthanondh, who woke up one morning wondering why nobody had ever made a Half-Life Barnacle ceiling lamp. And then, being the ambitious sort, he went ahead and did it himself.

[gallery=654]

What he came up with is repulsive in every way. Teeth, tongue, pseudo-eye-things, even the high-gloss sheen that gives it that extra touch of slimy ick are all perfectly recreated. It's the creepiest, most awful piece of lighting decor I've ever seen. Naturally, I want one. Badly.

Alas, I won't get one. "While there won't really be a 'place' to buy them, there'll definitely be a very (very) limited run of OOAK [one of a kind] Barnacle ceiling lamps," Ritthanondh wrote on his blog [http://teptec.net/?p=725]. "At this point it hasn't been decided yet how limited 'limited' [it] is, but we're probably talking about five pieces (or actually four since one of them has already turned into a commission)."

How much these things will cost wasn't mentioned but I suspect it's not particularly relevant. My guess is that if you have to ask, well, maybe you should just pop over to Ikea after all.


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Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,863
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...eewwwwww

I wouldnt feel comfortable having that on my roof, even if it is fake it would be paranioa inducing
 

Veylon

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Aug 15, 2008
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I love how completely and utterly out of place that thing is. You've got this ugly, slimy, monstrosity camouflaged against the white, clean, brightly lit ceiling.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
8,665
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If you buy one, you should make sure you have "no firearms in the house" policy. Otherwise you might not have it for long.

Anyway, I think it's rather cool. But on the other hand it's ugly and may give me nightmares. But it's rather cool. I'm confused. Should I buy it or should I laugh at those who do. The fact that I can't really afford it doesn't help my dilemma.
 

Ninedeus

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Feb 26, 2010
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Imagine 20 of those in the ceiling of a room complete with sound effects. I would know they are fake but I would not dare enter the room without packing at least a crowbar.
 

SilverUchiha

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Dec 25, 2008
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Ultratwinkie said:

I would love to have one of those things in my house. Even if it would be expensive.
Ninja'd

OT: I haven't gotten much experience with Half-Life (due to lack of free time anymore) but I would love to have it as well. That and the portal gun... and the gravity-gun whenever someone makes it.
 

Riobux

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Apr 15, 2009
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I noticed the A Softer World poster in the background. Somehow, I lack surprise.
 

Beryl77

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Mar 26, 2010
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I just imagined how it would feel like to wake up in the morning and seeing it hanging above you.
What a horrible thought but I still want one.
 

Dr_Horrible

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Oct 24, 2010
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I would only feel comfortable waking up to this if I had some HEV pajamas and a handy crowbar...

Still, I want one.
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
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I'm kinda torn on this item. On the one hand it's an amazing piece of fan art and the details are great! On the other hand? God it's nasty looking and yeah, I'd be kinda worried if someone shot the thing on a base impulse of fear.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Beryl77 said:
I just imagined how it would feel like to wake up in the morning and seeing it hanging above you.
Yeah. "YaaaawwwwwwwwnnnnnaaaaaAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH"