How to Survive an Alien Invasion

[WMDogma]

How to Survive an Alien Invasion

[img_inline src="http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/85/85547.jpg"]
The Center for Disease Control uses iconic disaster movies to detail how to survive real life disasters.

It wasn't too long ago that the Center for Disease Control gave us its official "Zombie Apocalypse Plan" [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/110183-Center-for-Disease-Control-Reveals-Zombie-Apocalypse-Plan] and provided some helpful tips on how best to survive the rise of the undead hordes. To help further promote disaster preparedness, the CDC recently compiled a list of iconic disaster films and how best to deal with severe weather, earthquakes, or say, an alien invasion.

The list includes cinematic classics like Deep Impact, Independence Day, and Tremors, and offers some helpful (and completely serious) survival tips along with links to more detailed guides hosted up at the CDC's website. Not to say the CDC didn't have a little fun writing up this list, just check out its suggestions on how best to deter an alien invasion:

[blockquote] In case of an alien invasion, do not attempt to save humankind all by yourself. If an alien asks you to take it to your leader, buy yourself some time by showing it a Lady Gaga music video and dial 9-1-1 while it watches. In the event an international strike force by our world's greatest celebrity action heroes cannot prevail against the alien fleet, then...well...might as well just sit back and relax with another good disaster movie as you wait for our new alien overlords to tell us what to do.[/blockquote]

While it's nifty that the CDC has revealed its official zombie and alien invasion plans, one does have to ask... Do they have any advice on how to survive the coming war with the machines?

Source: CDC.gov [http://blogs.cdc.gov/publichealthmatters/2012/02/disaster-movies-lessons-learned/]

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[Zen Toombs]

I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

pleasedon'teatme

 

[Terminate421]

Just say:

"This statement is false!"
"New mission, refuse this mission!"
"Does a set of all sets contain itself?"

 

[Gilhelmi]

Good thing I have that {Edited for security reasons}. I would be in trouble if I did not have that.

 

[Antari]

I would have thought a better solution would be not to be on the planet that gets invaded. Give Nasa its funding back!

 

[OldNewNewOld]

Just say:

"This statement is false!"
"New mission, refuse this mission!"
"Does a set of all sets contain itself?"

"Ehmmm... true. I'll go true. Yeah, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before."

On topic:
Some rules to survive all disaster:
Rule no. 1: Don't be blond.
Rule no. 2: Be white, male, 20-35 y/o
Rule no. 3: Don't go alone in the dark cave/room when you hear a strange sound.
Rule no. 4: Don't turn around when running, you will fall down.
Rule no. 5: Be a solider who ignores the rules most of the time or just a hot blond scientist chick (this one goes against rules no. 1 and 2, but it works).

... yeah, that's it for now.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

While it's nifty that the CDC has revealed its official zombie and alien invasion plans, one does have to ask... Do they have any advice on how to survive the coming war with the machines?

Refrigerator magnets.

Lots and lots of refrigerator magnets.

 

[Realitycrash]

While it's nifty that the CDC has revealed its official zombie and alien invasion plans, one does have to ask... Do they have any advice on how to survive the coming war with the machines?

Psh, no worries, I'v built this thing called "CloudNet" that I'v hooked up to the web. It learns by itself, adapts and has shown remarkable cunning and ingenuity! I'v specifically created it to help us deal with any robot uprisings.

 

[The Great JT]

But CDC, how do we survive the assault of the Mole Men?! You of all people should know, none can defeat the Hearld of the Mole Men, Hans!

 

[Inkidu]

Call the X-Com emergency contact hotline, and pray to God you don't get a commander who writes off most civilian casualties.

 

[Terminate421]

Just say:

"This statement is false!"
"New mission, refuse this mission!"
"Does a set of all sets contain itself?"

"Ehmmm... true. I'll go true. Yeah, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before."

On topic:
Some rules to survive all disaster:
Rule no. 1: Don't be blond.
Rule no. 2: Be white, male, 20-35 y/o
Rule no. 3: Don't go alone in the dark cave/room when you hear a strange sound.
Rule no. 4: Don't turn around when running, you will fall down.
Rule no. 5: Be a solider who ignores the rules most of the time or just a hot blond scientist chick (this one goes against rules no. 1 and 2, but it works).

... yeah, that's it for now.

But...Rule #1 is Cardio

 

[Nouw]

snip

I'm with you man. We can just chill and pump out the music at full.

 

[algalon]

Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Seanfall]

Sneeze on em?