Valve Gets a Real-Life Portal Turret

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Valve Gets a Real-Life Portal Turret

The Weta Workshop has created a very special addition to Valve's internal security system.

When you or I get the itch for some game-related swag to spiff up our living rooms, we hit Amazon. When the urge strikes the guys at Valve, they go to Weta. The Weta Workshop, in case you're not familiar, is a New Zealand-based effects company that's done work on things like Xena and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Braindead (that's Dead-Alive if you're American and fat) and, oh yes, Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. Yeah, those guys.

Anyway, Valve was after a full-scale, working model of a Portal turret (minus the live ammunition, we're assuming) and Weta delivered in spades. The gleaming little monster has a built-in motion detector, moves and speaks like the real thing and apparently can even be controlled via a PC interface.

Even the shipping crate got it right, with a big Aperture Laboratories logo and a warning that failure to read the instructions before activation "may lead to multiple loss of life." Valve said Weta went "far, far beyond our expectations to deliver something truly amazing." And yes, I want one. So do you. Alas, there's no indication as to how much this beauty cost, but I suspect the truth is that if you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Source: YouTube [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvZhRUsKNG4]


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SnowBurst

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Jul 2, 2012
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saw this on their youtube the other day... i want one already lol. the amount of fun one can have by putting it in a dark room and getting it to load up when someone enters wud be amazing xD
 

DugMachine

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Apr 5, 2010
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Screw any other home security system. I'd put like 5 or 6 of these around the house and scare the crap out of some people :D
 

Agow95

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Jul 29, 2011
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Put guns in that and it would actually work as a sentry turret, apart from the shooting everyone who passes, it'd need a way to tell the difference from the owners and intruders. Also I'm pretty sure it's illegal to gun down intruders with a sentry turret.
 

felbot

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May 11, 2011
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i wonder how much it costs, i really want one to stand around in my room, then id actually have something to talk to.
 

frobalt

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Jan 2, 2012
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Agow95 said:
Put guns in that and it would actually work as a sentry turret, apart from the shooting everyone who passes, it'd need a way to tell the difference from the owners and intruders. Also I'm pretty sure it's illegal to gun down intruders with a sentry turret.
It could always be supplied with non-lethal bullets I suppose.

Make it more of a BB gun than a live ammunition gun and you're sorted.


Edit: If you made it so that they put paint on the person as well that could help track them down.

Of course, you'd only activate that feature at night and need some way to remotely disable it.
 

Behazard

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Oct 12, 2011
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This would be an awesome greeter!
Probably never could afford it, but it would make one sweet birthday present!
 

1nfinite_Cros5

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Mar 31, 2010
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It's subliminal messaging to buy and unpack crates, you guys!

Thought you had me fooled, Valve? Ha!
*buys hats*
 

Aeshi

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Dec 22, 2009
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Ought to look good next to their TF2 Sentry.

Is it wrong that my first thought on seeing it was "Let's see if it'll talk if you kick it over?"
 

DuelLadyS

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Aug 25, 2010
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Aeshi said:
Is it wrong that my first thought on seeing it was "Let's see if it'll talk if you kick it over?"
Nope, that was my first thought too. "I don't blame you..."
 

Erttheking

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Oct 5, 2011
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First a TF2 sentry and now this? Valve must be pretty paranoid about getting robbed.
 

Atmos Duality

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Mar 3, 2010
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Oh...I've actually come up with a practical use for such a sentry.
1) Reprogram it to only recognize Canadian Geese as valid targets
2) Load with less-lethal ammunition or butt-plugs
3) Place all over campus of University, in key locations (on top of buildings and anywhere on land that they like to nest)

4) Record results for fun and profit.

(seriously. the goose population here is out of control, and they poop EVERYWHERE)
 

Rad Party God

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Feb 23, 2010
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They should also make defective turrets too, just for the lulz. Those are awesome too.

I'm different