Fired Groupon CEO Compares His Career to Battletoads

IanDavis

Blue Blaze Irregular 1st Class
Aug 18, 2012
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Fired Groupon CEO Compares His Career to Battletoads

Andrew Mason: "I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without dying on my first ever play through."

When Groupon went public back in 2011, the world seemed all butterfies and rainbows to the plucky tech startup. Having passed up a $6 billon buyout by Google, they plunged forth into independence, only to have their dreams get crumpled up like an expired coupon. Competitors quickly rose up, consumers moved on, and the entire business model started to look shaky. Now, they're worth a quarter of their 2011 valuation, and less than half of that generous Google offer. Today, Groupon CEO Andrew Mason found himself out of a job.

"After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today," Mason said in a public message aimed at Groupon Employees. Yet, he seems to be taking it pretty well. "I'm OK with having failed at this part of the journey. If Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without dying on my first ever play through."

"[T]he events of the last year and a half speak for themselves," Mason said. "As CEO, I am accountable." He notes that Groupon will need to change to survive, and a fresh CEO will give it the flexibility to do just that. As he said to his former employees, "you deserve the outside world to give you a second chance. I'm getting in the way of that." The rest of the casually written message can be found [a href=https://www.jottit.com/v5wux/]here[/a].

As anyone who's played the game knows, dying in Battletoads is only to be expected, (especially in the Terra Tubes level, which all but demands a blood sacrifice for safe passage.) Apparently, we now live in an age when CEOs can humbly claim their failures using lingo of the 80's NES generation.

Source: [a href=https://www.jottit.com/v5wux/]Jottit[/a] via [a href=http://www.wired.com/business/2013/02/groupon-ceo-fired/]Wired[/a]

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MorganL4

Person
May 1, 2008
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Totally epic reference!!!

Now I wanna see a former Office Depot CEO talk about Samurai Pizza Cats!!!
 

Zhukov

The Laughing Arsehole
Dec 29, 2009
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"After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I've decided that I'd like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding - I was fired today,"
I like him more for this part than the video game reference.
 

thethird0611

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Feb 19, 2011
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Funny enough, I was talking with my massage therapist (and family friend) about Groupon, and it wasnt pleasant.

She is extremely successful as an independent, but someone came and asked why she never tried out setting up coupons like that. What she said is that most of the massage therapist (and similar services) around that area only used it if they had really bad business and needed some type of boost, even if it was just over cost.

So its awesome how the old CEO really went out, and took responsibility for failures, but I think it may be because the actual popularity of the idea of the business that is starting to fall rapidly.
 

weirdee

Swamp Weather Balloon Gas
Apr 11, 2011
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All being said, remember kids: if you got an internet startup, always go for the buyout.
 

WWmelb

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Sep 7, 2011
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Groupon ... turned down a $6 billion buyout.. $6 . billion..... buyout.............................. yes, he probably does deserve to go, nice guy or not.

Awesome references or not...

6

Billion

dollars.
 

Warachia

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Aug 11, 2009
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Slow news day huh? So if I get fired from my job tomorrow but compare it to Terraria will I get mentioned?
 

Fasckira

Dice Tart
Oct 22, 2009
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Considering how much Groupon shafted many small businesses, Im finding it hard to feel sorry for him despite the clever reference.
 

vid87

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May 17, 2010
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@ the guy who did the Let's Play: you got hit at the end, guess that means you have to start over!

Seriously, my mind boggles at both how insanely cheap some of that level design was (you can get shot by an enemy before it comes on screen?!) and the thought that the player may in fact be able to do this and still have a social life.
 

bearlotz

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Dec 10, 2012
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Warachia said:
Slow news day huh? So if I get fired from my job tomorrow but compare it to Terraria will I get mentioned?
Depends, are you a high-ranking corporate officer of a company that was at one point valued at 6 billion USD? Because if so, then what are you doing posting this? You've got a business to run!

OT: Seeing a CEO actually take responsibility for his decisions, wish his company well, and leave with dignity really is pretty excellent. Now if only everyone in a fancy office would take this attitude...
 

Comocat

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May 24, 2012
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Of course he is happy, he doesnt have to go to work today because he's floating away on his golden parachute. "Hey guys I ran this company in the ground, but I made more in a month than you will in your entire life."
 

Lusty

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Dec 12, 2008
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I completed Battletoads when I was like 12. No idea how, couldn't do it today!

Groupon was a shitty business model though, always bound to fail. Think we might be in the middle of a second dot com boom at the moment...