Games With Fake Wars Are Stupid

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

Games With Fake Wars Are Stupid

Games using the plot device of "Private military companies starting wars for fun and profit" really doesn't make sense to begin with.

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[The Last Melon]

Props for that reference in the last line being actually accurate to the thought experiment. And I would gladly read Yahtzee's "Dragon" theory.

 

[Bobic]

While PMC villains are over played and over dumb, it could be worse. At least no one has copied that retarded Bond film where the villain builds a super stealthy nuclear submarine and uses it to start a war so he can sell newspapers. Now that was an awful villainous scheme.

 

[Iron Lightning]

Yahtzee, the cat knows if it's alive or dead, you silly goose.

 

[Lightknight]

I'm not sure there's a whole lot of alternatives for global conflict games. This is certainly their crutch though. A simple nation A wants to overthrow nation B is simple enough.

What kind of scenarios would you find more believeable that also wouldn't currently come across as racist or offensive?

 

[Jupiter065]

You are kind of ignoring the fact that this kind of thing happens all the time in the real world. Why do you think France and the US are always stirring up trouble? Both countries have so much of their GDPs dependent on arm sales that it's not even funny.

 

[castlewise]

So wait, are you alive or dead? Maybe your both. Has anyone collapse your waveform recently? (Bow chicka wowow)

 

[Something Amyss]

Paranoid fantasies are as American as Apple Pie.

You are kind of ignoring the fact that this kind of thing happens all the time in the real world. Why do you think France and the US are always stirring up trouble? Both countries have so much of their GDPs dependent on arm sales that it's not even funny.

I didn't know France and the US were PMCs.

The analogue falls flat in part because the countries involve themselves directly with a level of control a mere PMC cannot.

 

[AmzRigh]

Point #2 misses the mark due to the harsh and binding terms of the private soldier's contract at, say, Blackwater. Violate any of it, and you and your descendants will know no joy for generations.

That's barely even hyperbole, they seriously prosecute that hard. So it's not loyalty that keeps them in line, but fear. Keeps with the Saturday morning cartoon villain role, doesn't it?

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

While PMC villains are over played and over dumb, it could be worse. At least no one has copied that retarded Bond film where the villain builds a super stealthy nuclear submarine and uses it to start a war so he can sell newspapers. Now that was an awful villainous scheme.

Except, by some facepalm-worthy example of human self-interest, that plot is actually closer to something the really happened in real life (admittedly a few years after the film was released), when Rupert Murdoch used his media empire to fan the flames in the lead up to the Iraq war, because he knew that the inevitable carnage that would ensue would mean lots of juicy war coverage for him.

No Stealth Torpedo Boats involved though, which is a shame because that would have at least got him some badass point to balance out the warmongering shit-head points.

 

[bificommander]

Point #2 misses the mark due to the harsh and binding terms of the private soldier's contract at, say, Blackwater. Violate any of it, and you and your descendants will know no joy for generations.

That's barely even hyperbole, they seriously prosecute that hard. So it's not loyalty that keeps them in line, but fear. Keeps with the Saturday morning cartoon villain role, doesn't it?

I dunno. I think that when you get to the level of mass-genocide that video games PMCs get up to, EULA agreements kind of lose their sting. I'm pretty sure the country that your former employer would have nuked were it not for your warning will be happy to wipe their asses with any legal extradition requests for you. And they have a good shot at wiping the PMC from the face of the earth.

 

[Mahoshonen]

Point #2 misses the mark due to the harsh and binding terms of the private soldier's contract at, say, Blackwater. Violate any of it, and you and your descendants will know no joy for generations.

That's barely even hyperbole, they seriously prosecute that hard. So it's not loyalty that keeps them in line, but fear. Keeps with the Saturday morning cartoon villain role, doesn't it?

I dunno. I think that when you get to the level of mass-genocide that video games PMCs get up to, EULA agreements kind of lose their sting. I'm pretty sure the country that your former employer would have nuked were it not for your warning will be happy to wipe their asses with any legal extradition requests for you. And they have a good shot at wiping the PMC from the face of the earth.

Yeah, if a PMC is committing Crimes Against Humanity and such, if someone rats them out it doesn't matter what they have written on paper because, a) they'll be using all their funds to save themselves from being cast into an oubliette, and, b) no jury on earth will hold up a contract of a company that ascribes to the "What Would Hitler Do?" business model.

 

[Atmos Duality]

Paranoid fantasies are as American as Apple Pie.

You are kind of ignoring the fact that this kind of thing happens all the time in the real world. Why do you think France and the US are always stirring up trouble? Both countries have so much of their GDPs dependent on arm sales that it's not even funny.

I didn't know France and the US were PMCs.

It wouldn't even work if they were PMCs. Such action ultimately costs the country more money than it would make back in trade through such measures, by virtue of defense contractors gouging the military for more than they do the market (I can say this is the case for the US; and it'd blow your mind how much military-paid hardware is just laying around Iraq).

Government Defense Contractor: "Great! We sold more TOW missiles and APCs to foreign nations due to conflict!...And our military still spent far more than that in taxpayer dollars!"

It's a snake eating its own tail.

 

[Farther than stars]

Yahtzee: Making "Fight Club" seem like the healthy nihilistic option, since 2013.

 

[Farther than stars]

Paranoid fantasies are as American as Apple Pie.

You are kind of ignoring the fact that this kind of thing happens all the time in the real world. Why do you think France and the US are always stirring up trouble? Both countries have so much of their GDPs dependent on arm sales that it's not even funny.

I didn't know France and the US were PMCs.

The analogue falls flat in part because the countries involve themselves directly with a level of control a mere PMC cannot.

Well, there's something to be said for applying Yahtzee's analysis to independent nations as well. That's why modern politics have a more restrained attitude towards war than they used to - well, Western politics that is.

 

[kailus13]

The problem with this is that if you don't do something like that then you'll have to come up with something else. Which leads to such gems as Russia declaring war on the entire world at once.

 

[Scorpid]

I Agree with Yahtzee. It's why Delita from Final Fantasy Tactics was my favorite villain as a kid. I didn't even realize he was one of the game villains until months after I beat it. (Also they have a ton of great villains of all stripes and colors)

 

[Howling Din]

And once again Mr. Yahtzee shows everyone how intelligent he is. But what's the point, Mr. Yahtzee? These readers of yours cannot possibly match you in brains. they only know how to make it seem so on the surface. They're all socialites. You can make a spin doctor from any idiot.
Unless your motive for speaking in the open are not pure, how can you be so sure you're not wasting your breath?

 

[Pseudonym2]

Actually a lot of wars were encouraged or lengthened by news media/war profiteers. Remember the Maine? There was a lot of corruption involved in WW1 and the Iraq War. Companies like GE own NBC and make over a billion dollars a year in contracts. Halliburton has scammed the government a lot but they made tonnes of cash. The only difference is that now games refer to PMC's starting wars instead of newspapers.