Scientists Create Extra-Long Life Beer

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Scientists Create Extra-Long Life Beer


Ancient barley helps scientists create ancient beer.

Science may not have delivered on some of its promises; Flying cars, jet packs, immortality, etc; but it has done the next best thing - It's given us extra-long life beer.

Researchers at Australia's University of Adelaide have cultivated a new type of barley which, thanks to a genetic defect, will keep beer fresher for longer. Essentially, the barley used in traditional beer brewing contains an enzyme by the name of "lipoxygenase." The enzyme helps produce several substances, including "trans-2-nonenal," which is what gives old beer that "moldy" taste and old-man's-armpit smell if its left for too long. What Doctor Jason Eglington, of the university's School of Agriculture, discovered, is that some ancient strains of barley come with a defective version of the enzyme. With a little bit of selective breeding, the university's researchers have produced a new strain of barley that lacks working lipoxygenase and is perfectly suitable for brewing. Science, ladies and gentlemen.

The Japanese beer barons at Sapporo have already shown an interest in the new barley, dubbed "Southern Star," and are apparently looking to acquire the first crop.

Now, what any self-respecting ale-head will tell you is that strong beers already age very well. This new barley is really only relevant to the flavorless goat pee that makes up the vast majority of successful canned beers. To wit; This new barley probably won't make Foster's taste any better, but at least it can't make it any worse.

Source: The Register [http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/06/new_barley_strain_keeps_beer_fresh/]

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Mr.Mattress

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Jul 17, 2009
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We're one step closer to the Fizzy lifting Drink. Willy Wonka's dream will become a reality soon...

(Can't find Gif of the scene, so I'll post this gif instead)

 

Roxas1359

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Aug 8, 2009
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Ah science, you always know how to make my day feel better. Especially since I've got finals all this week and on the weekend...>.>
Wait...I can't drink! >.<
 

RicoADF

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Jun 2, 2009
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Trust Aussies to come up with a way to keep our beer fresh, its all alot of us ever drink :)
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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Now if only beer didn't taste awful anyway.

Also, you forgot a letter in the "lipoxygenase" at the end of the big paragraph. But it can happen, it's a complex word.
 

Evil Smurf

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Nov 11, 2011
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Quaxar said:
Now if only beer didn't taste awful anyway.

Also, you forgot a letter in the "lipoxygenase" at the end of the big paragraph. But it can happen, it's a complex word.
beer tastes like victory, heaven and dreams.

Beer does not last long around me so all this science may be wasted.
 

Shamanic Rhythm

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Grey Carter said:
Now, what any self-respecting ale-head will tell you is that strong beers already age very well. This new barley is really only relevant to the flavorless goat pee that makes up the vast majority of successful canned beers. To wit; This new barley probably won't make Foster's taste any better, but at least it can't make it any worse.
Are you trying to tell me that people actually drink Fosters?
 

Fiz_The_Toaster

books, Books, BOOKS
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Right before the last bit I was wondering if it will make Budweiser taste better, but I guess not.

So it will just make 3-2 piss beer just last longer, and I find that rather sad.

Science you have failed me. :(
 

The Wooster

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Jul 15, 2008
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Shamanic Rhythm said:
Grey Carter said:
Now, what any self-respecting ale-head will tell you is that strong beers already age very well. This new barley is really only relevant to the flavorless goat pee that makes up the vast majority of successful canned beers. To wit; This new barley probably won't make Foster's taste any better, but at least it can't make it any worse.
Are you trying to tell me that people actually drink Fosters?
Not "people" per-se. Australians.
 

Big_Boss_Mantis

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Evil Smurf said:
Beer does not last long around me so all this science may be wasted.
I just came here to say that. Seems like my work has been done for me.

So, if anyone needs me, I`ll be at the bar... Bye.
 

Erttheking

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I'm not really a big fan of beer, but I am a fan of things that make other people happy. So for that, I say that I am glad that this happened. And to top that off.

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/yeah-science-*****-meme.jpg
 

Owyn_Merrilin

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Mr.Mattress said:
We're one step closer to the Fizzy lifting Drink. Willy Wonka's dream will become a reality soon...

(Can't find Gif of the scene, so I'll post this gif instead)

As someone who is currently drunk, let me be the first to say how annoying an animated gif with an animation that subtle can be :p

OT: Cool science, and not at all surprising that Sapporo is interested. They're kind of like the Japanese Anheuser-Busch.
 

Khrowley

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Feb 4, 2012
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They've yet to produce the Holy Grail, but they've certainly found something to fill it with.
 

Bara_no_Hime

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I thought the thread said "Scientists create Extra long Life Bear" and I was gonna say "oh gods, no!" and post pictures of angry bears.

....

So instead, I'm going to post a picture of bearodactyl.



Bearodactyl also has Extra Long Life.
 

VanQ

Casual Plebeian
Oct 23, 2009
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Grey Carter said:
Shamanic Rhythm said:
Grey Carter said:
Now, what any self-respecting ale-head will tell you is that strong beers already age very well. This new barley is really only relevant to the flavorless goat pee that makes up the vast majority of successful canned beers. To wit; This new barley probably won't make Foster's taste any better, but at least it can't make it any worse.
Are you trying to tell me that people actually drink Fosters?
Not "people" per-se. Australians.
You won't find any Foster's here, mate. We export that shit because we refuse to drink it yet Americans pay top dollar for it because it's Australian and Beer at the same time.

Toohey's and VB are what you want to be drinking if you want good Aussie beer.
 

Xanex

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Jun 18, 2012
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DVS BSTrD said:
Bara_no_Hime said:
I thought the thread said "Scientists create Extra long Life Bear" and I was gonna say "oh gods, no!" and post pictures of angry bears.

....

So instead, I'm going to post a picture of bearodactyl.



Bearodactyl also has Extra Long Life.
I wonder how much beer I'd have to drink before that looked attractive.
You would prob pass out long before then. Or wish you had.

OT: It's about time science did something for the human race. :p
 

Bara_no_Hime

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Sep 15, 2010
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DVS BSTrD said:
I wonder how much beer I'd have to drink before that looked attractive.
Is this better?



I was tempted to go with this one in the first place, but there was just something so wonderfully absurd about the first one.

Ah, the Oatmeal.

... which you can also use to make beer. See, I'm On Topic. ^^

....