Angry Birds Hits Theaters In 2016

[Earnest Cavalli]

Angry Birds Hits Theaters In 2016

The Angry Birds film adaptation moves one step closer to reality with the announcement of an official release date.

Are there any two words in the English language more beautiful than "Angry Birds?" Yes, of course there are. Many of them. Despite this, the Angry Birds franchise has attracted the kind of global following usually reserved for Liverpudlian musicians and long-haired hippie messiah types. Thus, and despite everyone's better judgement, a film based on the Angry Birds games was inevitable.

Actually, it's more than inevitable. You'll be able to plunk down money for tickets to this flick on July 1, 2016. According to the Hollywood Reporter, Sony Pictures has struck up a deal with Angry Birds publisher Rovio to bring the movie to the silver screen, and July 1 is the date the two firms have decided upon.

"Sony impressed us with their great attitude, determination, and professionalism," says Rovio CEO Mikael Hed. "They convinced us that we have found the right partners and team to help us market and distribute our first motion picture."

With this film's debut being so far off, it should come as little surprise that the cast and crew of the 3D animated movie have yet to be nailed down - or, if they have, that Sony and Rovio are being very tight-lipped about the whole thing. The only really useful information we have is that Despicable Me producer John Cohen has signed on to produce the Angry Birds movie alongside Iron Man executive producer David Maisel. Expect more details to slowly emerge over the next ... well, three years or so.

With that much time to kill, there's only one thing we, as vaguely intrigued observers, can do: Speculate wildly on what this flick might be like. Personally, I'm hoping it's a Heart of Darkness spoof where a loyal red bird is forced to fling himself deep into the heart of the Congo, and directly into the path of a crazed, despotic pig. Bonus points if any of this causes Martin Sheen to suffer a heart attack.

Comments below. Speculate. Go.

Source: THR [http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/sony-bring-angry-birds-big-523315]

Permalink

 

[Legion]

Comments below. Speculate. Go.

Sony Moron 1: "You know that Angry Birds made millions right?"
Sony Moron 2: "Huh? Did it?"
Sony Moron 1: "That's right, we should totally cash in on that, and try and get even more!"
Sony Moron 2: "Okay, let's see if we can get a deal!"

Is pretty much how I imagine it went.

Let's be honest, considering what it's based upon, how can it be anything other than a cash grab? The stupid thing is that it will be out in 2016, at which point everybody will have forgotten it and moved onto the next hit smartphone game.

 

[slacker09]

Why is this a thing? What could possibly be in an Angry Birds movie, how can one fill out a feature length film with Angry Birds? I don't hate the games or anything but I just can't comprehend this.

 

[Kilo24]

I see romance: a pig and bird coming together at high velocity through the walls that separate them. The pig's father - a corrupt and incompetent building safety inspector - protests the match until the writers drop a bridge on him midway through the movie. The slingshot romance is impactful and kinetic, and the bird's shocking concussion-induced death at the end leaves a deep hole on the landscape of the whole piece. Music to be performed by Stomp.

 

[dragongit]

It's a game about angry birds. Flinging themselves into buildings and smashing Pigs. What on Gods green earth would take 3 years and god knows how many millions of dollars. I thought it was unusual that Ratchet and Clank was getting a movie, awesome but weird. This however, how are you going to stretch the concept of "getting back the eggs from Pig" can you stretch out in an hour and a half? People can usually beat the Angry Birds "campaign" in less time then that.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

The five minute Angry Bird animations that already exist are already the perfect length for Angry Bird related japes, why do we need a feature length movie?

Captcha: Keep Calm. Thank you Captcha; I'll try.

 

[RJ 17]

Allow me to end all this "How the hell are they going to do this?!" speculation right now, because the trailer for this has already been out for a while:


Gotta love Rooster Teeth.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Even if this is awful, I'll see it.

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

And then in three years when the filmmakers' lack of obligation to following a story designed to be experienced in the disparate medium of gaming results in Angry Birds becoming the first good video game movie ever, the gaming community will rip itself asunder.

 

[Berithil]

And then in three years when the filmmakers' lack of obligation to following a story designed to be experienced in the disparate medium of gaming results in Angry Birds becoming the first good video game movie ever, the gaming community will rip itself asunder.

The gaming community? Try the whole universe cracking!

I still don't understand. The Angry Birds fad will probably be over by then. The Ratchet and Clank movie being made kinda makes sense, but this? How much movie can you make from a premise about suicidal birds flinging themselves at unstable structures full of green pigs?

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

The gaming community? Try the whole universe cracking!

I still don't understand. The Angry Birds fad will probably be over by then. The Ratchet and Clank movie being made kinda makes sense, but this? How much movie can you make from a premise about suicidal birds flinging themselves at unstable structures full of green pigs?

That was actually kind of the point of my post. There is no plot to Angry Birds outside of birds throwing themselves at barricaded pigs, which means that outside of that, the filmmakers are free to give the film adaption whatever story they want. Which means that it's more or less as likely to succeed as any regular film, whereas most video game adaptions are at an automatic disadvantage. So it very well might suck, but unlike most other video game films, it's not a near-certainty.

 

[Berithil]

The gaming community? Try the whole universe cracking!

I still don't understand. The Angry Birds fad will probably be over by then. The Ratchet and Clank movie being made kinda makes sense, but this? How much movie can you make from a premise about suicidal birds flinging themselves at unstable structures full of green pigs?

That was actually kind of the point of my post. There is no plot to Angry Birds outside of birds throwing themselves at barricaded pigs, which means that outside of that, the filmmakers are free to give the film adaption whatever story they want. Which means that it's more or less as likely to succeed as any regular film, whereas most video game adaptions are at an automatic disadvantage. So it very well might suck, but unlike most other video game films, it's not a near-certainty.

That second bit wasn't actually directed towards you, but my reply to the thread in general

But, yes. It is a possibility. But the Battleship game has next to no premise, and we all know how that turned out as a movie...

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

That second bit wasn't actually directed towards you, but my reply to the thread in general

But, yes. It is a possibility. But the Battleship game has next to no premise, and we all know how that turned out as a movie...

...Well, that's my argument completely dismantled. Guess I have no choice but to be pessimistic about Angry Birds now. Oh well.

 

[Berithil]

That second bit wasn't actually directed towards you, but my reply to the thread in general

But, yes. It is a possibility. But the Battleship game has next to no premise, and we all know how that turned out as a movie...

...Well, that's my argument completely dismantled. Guess I have no choice but to be pessimistic about Angry Birds now. Oh well.

Oh, don't be such a grump. I did say it was a possibility. But I still don't have much hope for it.

And this is coming from someone who's considered an optimist.

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

Oh, don't be such a grump. I did say it was a possibility. But I still don't have much hope for it.

And this is coming from someone who's considered an optimist.

(Just to be clear, I was making a joke, not being sarcastic. The Battleship example was a legitimately good point, and I'm honestly surprised I never thought to make the connection myself.)

 

[Berithil]

(Just to be clear, I was making a joke, not being sarcastic. The Battleship example was a legitimately good point, and I'm honestly surprised I never thought to make the connection myself.)

Ok, good. Sometimes it's hard to detect a joke over the internet.

 

[GodzillaGuy92]

Ok, good. Sometimes it's hard to detect a joke over the internet.

Yeah, sorry about that. The "oh well" at the end was my attempt to communicate a lightness of tone.

ANYWAY. Let's say we (well, mostly I) not derail the thread any further.

 

[Atmos Duality]

The only way this can be good is that for each screening, the theater staff dress up as pigs and random objects and the audience gets to throw Angry Bird plushies at them for 90 minutes.

Let's be honest, considering what it's based upon, how can it be anything other than a cash grab? The stupid thing is that it will be out in 2016, at which point everybody will have forgotten it and moved onto the next hit smartphone game.

Hey!
What about their "artistic integrity"?
I'm sure the film inspired from a game where birds fling themselves violently at objects has the same potential as any other work of art! (like that of Duchamp's Urinal perhaps)

 

[In Search of Username]

Is it just me who finds the game not the slightest bit fun or addictive? Usually these mobile games get by on being fun in short bursts and something you want to return to, but Angry Birds is just... fucking tedious.

Also this is the dumbest idea for a movie I've ever heard. It's bound to be massively popular and make me hate everyone for the brief time anyone cares about it for, like I always do when something supremely moronic gets big.