Jason Segel Set To Star In Maple Syrup Heist Comedy

[Andy Chalk]

Jason Segel Set To Star In Maple Syrup Heist Comedy

The real-life Great Canadian Maple Syrup Heist of 2012 is headed to Hollywood.

You will no doubt recall that dark day in August 2012 when a gang of hard, pipe-hitting Canadians broke into a warehouse in Quebec and made off with 16,000 barrels of maple syrup. The Sûreté du Québec and the RCMP eventually tracked an "important" portion of the stolen syrup to New Brunswick, shocking absolutely no one; investigators interviewed 300 people in connection with the case and ultimately arrested nearly two dozen suspects from Quebec, New Brunswick, Ontario and the northeastern U.S.

Yet somehow, this day of Canadian infamy is going to serve as inspiration for a Hollywood comedy - a comedy! - starring American funnyman Jason Segel, best known for his work on How I Met Your Mother, This Is 40, The Muppets and Jason Segel & Paul Rudd Meet Rush. The film will be directed by Seth Gordon, whose previous effort was Identity Theft, while Family Guy writer Chris Sheridan is handling the script.

How this could possibly be envisioned as a comedy is utterly beyond me. Quebec produces as much as 80 percent of the world's maple syrup, and the theft, with a value of nearly $20 million, put a significant dent in the global strategic reserve, casting the shadow of a potentially dangerous shortage of maple syrup around the world. This is not funny, people. This is serious business. Serious Canadian business.

Sources: Montreal Gazette [http://www.deadline.com/2013/09/more-culinary-fare-on-sony-menu-studio-buys-maple-syrup-heist-pic-for-jason-segel/]




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[Phrozenflame500]

As a Canadian, this is an outrage! Maple syrup is our most important commodity, if we didn't have it, car and air travel would become significantly more expensive. Our manufacturing industry will tank and we might end up in debt to, I dunno, China. Hell, we might even have to go to war with the Middle East to gain access to their maple syrup reserves. This is truly insensitive to even contemplate turning such an economy-damaging job-destroying event into a comedy.

Wait.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Scraping out the dregs at the bottom of the idea well, I see.

 

[XMark]

YES! Ever since I first read the news about that maple syrup heist, I've been hoping for a movie adaptation. It's basically going to be the Canadian Ocean's 11

 

[The Wooster]

Absolutely disgusting. No one who witnessed the sheer carnage in the aftermath of 8/12 would even dream of fictionalizing that atrocity, never mind as a base comedy. Faced with dwindling syrup reserves and with the specter of peak syrup on the horizon, the Canadian public would do well to boycott this vile film.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

Just the idea of a maple syrup heist is a pretty good joke, so I'd say this movie is already funnier than the majority of Hollywood comedies this past decade.

the big leibniz cookie monster heist of february 2013.

Wow, that really was a thing. The cynical adult in me believes it was all an elaborate marketing stunt, but my inner child really doesn't want it to be.

 

[Andy Chalk]

8/12 NEVAR FORGET

 

[Smiley Face]

Heist films are already a weakness of mine, but now we're getting a comedic heist based on the great syrup heist? I don't usually see comedies, but for this one, I'll certainly make an exception.

 

[Issurru]

YES! Ever since I first read the news about that maple syrup heist, I've been hoping for a movie adaptation. It's basically going to be the Canadian Ocean's 11

See, all I can picture is a Jason Segel version of Strange Brew, i'm totally okay with that and would throw more money at him for it. The movie looks glorious in my mind...

 

[Miyenne]

This sounds fantastic.

Or fantastically awful.

Either way, fantastic. I will see it.

 

[RedEyesBlackGamer]

It stars Jason Segel so I have to go see it. He is the best part of How I Met Your Mother.

 

[CriticalMiss]

Wow, some people are over reacting in this thread. It's only Maple Syrup! We should be thinking about serious matters like that guy who took a sticker off his rubicks cube to solve it when he was stuck and then said he did it properly but everyone knew he didn't because he put the sticker back on wonky and it was really obvious and someone pointed it out and he was like 'nuh uh' and then no one invited him to the chess club meeting in case he cheated there too.

Plus the RCMP will never figure out where I stashed all that syrup! Muahaha!

 

[FogHornG36]

read it first as "maple story" heist because you know... this is a video game site...

 

[King Kazma]

Absolutely disgusting. No one who witnessed the sheer carnage in the aftermath of 8/12 would even dream of fictionalizing that atrocity, never mind as a base comedy. Faced with dwindling syrup reserves and with the specter of peak syrup on the horizon, the Canadian public would do well to boycott this vile film.

Strange Brew happened Mr. Carter, and if two hosers can eventually get free beer with a mouse in a bottle than by golly there can be a funny maple syrup heist film. Shame Bob and Doug can't be in this, this is right up their alley.

I've no idea where I was going with this. Take off a hoser.

 

[Andy Chalk]

This is what a real Canadian robbery actually looks like:

 

[kajinking]

it will still live its life out in the shaddow of the big leibniz cookie monster heist of february 2013.
http://www.ninerbakes.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/cookie_monster_bahlsen_leibniz.jpg


German ?Cookie Monster? Holds Giant Golden Biscuit Ransom
A person dressed as a Sesame Street muppet has swiped a cookie statue in Hanover, Germany, and refuses to give it back until a local food company agrees to his demands.

A person dressed as a Sesame Street muppet has swiped a cookie statue in Hanover, Germany, and refuses to give it back until a local food company agrees to donate free cookies to a children?s hospital.

What exactly is this cookie statue, you might ask? It?s a giant golden model of a Leibniz cookie, one of those yummy square butter cookies, occasionally sold with chocolate on one side, and it used to hang by the entrance to the corporate headquarters of Bahlsen, which has made Leibniz cookies in Hanover since the 19th century.

The masked thief, who calls himself Cookie Monster, sent a letter to a Hanover newspaper demanding cookies for children in exchange for the statue?s safe return, reports Der Spiegel. ?I have the cookie! And you want it,? says the ransom note. ?You must give all the children milk chocolate cookies on one day in February ? and not dark chocolate.? It is signed ?Cookie Monster.? The perpetrator enclosed a picture of himself, dressed as the famed Sesame Street character, biting into the giant gold cookie.
.....



http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/02/04/german-cookie-monster-holds-giant-golden-biscuit-ransom/
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887323696404578298342311130654.html

and it was awesomely returned some weeks later.

http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Photo/_new/130205-cookie-solved-11a.photoblog600.jpg
http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/02/05/16854327-heart-of-gold-did-german-cookie-monster-return-stolen-emblem?lite

and hollywood has run out of ideas.

also, it has begun......
http://www.earlyamerica.com/review/2005_winter_spring/images/teaparty4.jpg

Here's a slightly more epic video version of how this all played out for those who hate to read (Also proof this heist would make a good movie)

At 0:25

 

[Evil Smurf]

I can't wait to see it. It will be sweet

 

[FPLOON]

After reading this... The only "comedy" I can think of I can compare this to is the movie Burn After Reading...

Either this movie would be like one of those comedies that looks all happy from the outside, but is actually REALLY FUCKING DARK on the inside... Or just too "laughable" to be taken as something that ACTUALLY HAPPENED in Canadian history...

I remember what I was doing on August 12... of this year... I was drinking a bottle of maple syrup... Because of news like this, I'm reminded why I did something like that... and I'm pretty sure I'm not Canadian, as far as I know growing up on the west coast.. (just north of Los Santos...)

 

[ImBigBob]

I'm having trouble detecting the amount of sarcasm in this thread. While theft is a crime for a reason, and I don't doubt that stealing a huge amount of maple syrup can throw off the economy, comedy is made for making fun of crappy situations. I mean, Four Lions is a comedy about suicide bombers. And I'm working on a dark comedy novel right now. I definitely see the potential for funny here.