Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

Steven Bogos

The Taco Man
Jan 17, 2013
9,354
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Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

You'd better act fast if you want to own this one-of-a-kind set of leather kitty armor.

Cats are alright I guess, but you know what would make them really cool? If we could deck them out in armor, give them weapons, and force them to battle to the death for our amusement. Unfortunately, they lack the opposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star, but fortunately, Etsy user Schnabuble [http://www.etsy.com/listing/175112598/cat-battle-armor?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share] has taken the first step anyway, producing a custom set of leather kitty armor.

"100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable, the Cat Battle Armor is a for-reals armor harness for your kitty," says the armor's product description. The one-of-a-kind handmade set is yours for a mere $500, making it possibly the most expensive piece of cat-clothing ever made (although I'm sure someone will prove me wrong in the comments). Marvel at it below:

[gallery=2003]

"Completely hand-made from durable veg-tan leather, this is no mere costume piece. Your cat will become an unstoppable force for slaughter in this fully articulated suit, shielding him/her from foes while allowing unimpeded movement across the battlefield or living room floor."

The armor is available as shown, or with optional d-ring attachment at the torso for use with a leash. Sadly, there is no harness attachment that allows your pet gerbil to ride your new armored-cat into battle.

Source: Geekologie [http://www.etsy.com/listing/175112598/cat-battle-armor?utm_source=OpenGraph&utm_medium=PageTools&utm_campaign=Share]

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CriticalMiss

New member
Jan 18, 2013
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Steven Bogos said:
Unfortunately, they lack the disposable thumbs needed to wield a morning star
Erm, do you mean opposable thumbs?

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/opposable+thumb

Disposable thumbs don't sound very useful unless you are shit with a hammer.
 

Zacharious-khan

New member
Mar 29, 2011
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Hate to be a buzz kill but most cats go for the eyes, and what kind of status effect protection do i get? protection from catnap's would be nice

Also the picture on the front page is wrong someone should fix that
 

Angelous Wang

Lord of I Don't Care
Oct 18, 2011
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Someone must have just found out about Bethesda's horse armour DLC and decided hell if they can get away with it.

And of course cats is an easy target on the internet.
 

spartandude

New member
Nov 24, 2009
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If i want to get that armour on my cats i first need to wearing some myself otherwise they will likely kill me... no seriously i once had to give one a flea bath and she cut my neck and only just missed an important blood vessel
 

Neurotic Void Melody

Bound to escape
Legacy
Jul 15, 2013
4,953
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Steven Bogos said:
Deck Out Your Cat With $500 Battle Armor

100% wearable, flexible, and comfortable

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Comfortable? How the fck would he know?! Did the cat fill out a feedback form??
 

verdant monkai

New member
Oct 30, 2011
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I cant see most cats putting up with having that strapped to them. I think they would probably kill you if you tried to strap on a little helmet.
 

Lieju

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Jan 4, 2009
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Chaosritter said:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.
It kinda looks like it's designed to protect the cat from attacks coming from directly above. Like from birds.
 

hazydawn

New member
Jan 11, 2013
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Chaosritter said:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.
It would decrease the cat's dexterity, effectively reducing its crit damage.
 

Bug MuIdoon

New member
Mar 28, 2013
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Awesome!
Me and my wife did something similar once with our pet rats. We bought a pair of Battle Hamster kids toy thing in a 99p store and put them on our rats for a laugh. They didn't like them much, but they looked pretty cool for a while for some photos.

 

Mr. Q

New member
Apr 30, 2013
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Cool looking armor, but I don't know any cat that would want to wear something like that. My late cat never liked having a scarf put on her after her trip to the pet groomers and I highly doubt she would allow that. ^^;
 

Roxas1359

Burn, Burn it All!
Aug 8, 2009
33,758
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Lieju said:
Chaosritter said:
No helmet, belly and legs uncovered...

This thing doesn't offer much protection at all.
It kinda looks like it's designed to protect the cat from attacks coming from directly above. Like from birds.
And coyotes because when coyotes attack a cat they would have the spikes on the armor's top scratch up their mouths causing them to drop them. I know because my kitty got attack by a coyote while he was sleeping, and surprisingly the coyote dropped my cat because normally when a coyote has it's prey it shakes them in its mouth until it dies. My kitty got really lucky.

OT: Well I can see the practical purposes of the armor, but it still looks a little silly. :p