Rock Your Fingers Off With Champion Of Guitars

[Andy Chalk]

Rock Your Fingers Off With Champion Of Guitars

Do you wanna rock? (Rock!) I said, do you wanna rock? (Rock!) Then you need to try out Champion of Guitars, the latest step in the evolution of the music videogame. (It's a text adventure!)

Ahem.

I was sittin' 'round my apartment one day,
I got out my guitar and I started to play,
Well I riffed and I wailed and the words came to my lips,
I sang, "You know what kind of game will get me shakin' my hips?"

A TEXT ADVENTURE!
Cast down from the Metal Gods!
A TEXT ADVENTURE!
But man, what are the odds?

Well my leathers are tight and my hair is long,
And I'm bangin' my head while I'm playin' my song,
I'm typin' in words and the parser's feedin' back,
Press red! Press blue! That's some hardcore rock attack!

IT'S A TEXT ADVENTURE!
With a core of molten steel!
YEAH, A TEXT ADVENTURE!
Baby baby, this stuff is for real!

Champion of Guitarsis, in fact, a text-adventure version of Guitar Hero. Written by Bill Meltsner, the game takes place in a seedy cantina on Tuesday night, a sort of "open guitar night" when anyone with the urge can get on stage, pick up a fake plastic guitar and try their luck. And now it's your turn to step up. Do you have the stones to keep the drunken, unruly crowd happy?

Rock out with your conjunctive clauses out here [http://parchment.googlecode.com/svn/trunk/parchment.html?story=http://www.meltsner.com/random/Champion%20of%20Guitars.z5]. (Rock!)

via: What They Play [http://www.whattheyplay.com/blog/2009/01/26/guitar-hero-the-text-adventure/]


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[coldfrog]

I love the idea, but to be honest the follow-through is pretty lackluster. What I expected from a text adventure guitar hero was a satire of the idea, seeing as how making it a text adventure is removing the entire point of the game. Perhaps playing the game at all is enough, but I just feel like the guy had an idea that amused him and then speedily wrote out a text game so that he could say he beat anyone else to it. Also, it lacks what I REALLY love in text adventures, which is options. You can't look at, do, or even attempt to do hardly anything. There is the occasional flavor text that is amusing, but most of it is repeated and it isn't used to any great effect. I was terribly disappointed in it!

OK, maybe I'm taking this way to seriously, but being a huge fan of text adventure games, I feel like this one missed every possible opportunity for a funny, clever satire of one of the most popular game genres out there.

 

[richdiesal]

It could have been so much more. But at least, I've discovered 3 different endings. Anyone find more?

 

[Jumplion]

Hah, that's funny. Nice waste of 4 minutes or so.

 

[coldfrog]

It could have been so much more. But at least, I've discovered 3 different endings. Anyone find more?

What was the third? I honestly gave up after spending a while standing around doing nothing and then trying to stay mediocre. (I got the obvious win/loss ones)

 

[richdiesal]

It could have been so much more. But at least, I've discovered 3 different endings. Anyone find more?

What was the third? I honestly gave up after spending a while standing around doing nothing and then trying to stay mediocre. (I got the obvious win/loss ones)

1) Pick up guitar, play brilliantly
2) Pick up guitar, play terribly (or not at all)
3) Don't pick up the guitar (you have to type "wait" at least 50 times)

 

[coldfrog]

1) Pick up guitar, play brilliantly
2) Pick up guitar, play terribly (or not at all)
3) Don't pick up the guitar (you have to type "wait" at least 50 times)

Ugh. I thought of that possibility but I just didn't have the patience for it. I did it quite a bit though, but I did it for so long I figured nothing happened. I guess I was wrong