Dolph Lundgren Battles Piss-Happy Preschoolers in Kindergarten Cop 2 Trailer

[JaredJones]

Dolph Lundgren Battles Piss-Happy Preschoolers in Kindergarten Cop 2 Trailer


This movie will break you...into fits of laughter!

Twenty six years ago, Universal Pictures released a movie so daring in its ambition, so uncompromising in its integrity, that it blazed a trail between two diametrically opposed film genres for years to come. It was a movie about family, justice, and the secret identities we all choose to hide from those around us. It was a movie willing to ask the tough questions, like "Who is your daddy?" and "What does he do?" It was a movie that grossed nearly 100 million dollars domestic.

That movie was Kindergarten Cop.

Starring former bodybuilder and future governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger, Kindergarten Cop not only launched the "Badass Babysitter" subgenre of comedy, but has yet to be topped by *any* movie created within that subgenre since -- not by the similarly-flawless Vin Diesel vehicle, The Pacifier, and not even by Hulk Hogan's Mr. Nanny. The fact that Kindergarten Cop wasn't immediately greenlit for half a dozen sequels upon its release is a tragedy on par with Hurricane Katrina, and thankfully, a wrong that will finally be righted by Universal in 2016.

Above you will find the first trailer for Kindergarten Cop 2, starring Dolph Lundgren as a no-nonsense cop forced to go undercover at an elementary school in order to retrieve some stolen data. What that data is, exactly, will just be one of many mysteries uncovered when Kindergarten Cop 2 hits DVD stands everywhere on May 17th. Mysteries like:

-Why is that kid pissing in a trash can?
-Is that his idea of anarchy? Just pissing everywhere?
-Will someone eventually fall head first in that bucket?
-What the hell were they cooking in that microwave?
-Why isn't Dolph Lundgren using his singing, dancing, drumming, and karate-chopping skills [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-LqM_5eTgA] to win over these rambunctious children?
-*Was* it a tumor, though?
-Does Dolph Lundgren have a tumor?
-Why else would he have done that black lady finger snap thing at the end there?
-To be "hip"?
-Do *any* kids even do that anymore, let alone the "hip" ones?
-Why won't Amazon Prime let me pre-order 150 copies of this movie at a time?

In conclusion, Kindergarten Cop 2 is my Force Awakens and cannot get here soon enough.

Source: EW [http://www.ew.com/article/2016/02/16/kindergarten-cop-2-trailer]

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[Covarr]

How did this get greenlit? Usually, low-budget direct-to-video sequels with none of the cast or characters of the original are done shortly after the movie they're supposedly sequels to, while the name is still big and marketable. If this were 1992 I could see this making sense, even if it'd still be awful, but 2016? I don't get it.

P.S. Thanks

 

[Marter]

So help me, I must review this.

 

[lacktheknack]

So help me, I must review this.

PLEASE DO. I will read it twenty times over.

 

[JaredJones]

So help me, I must review this.

Anything less than a five star rating and we (I) riot.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

But...but...actors who can't act, acting carelessly around children in ways that can only inspire future drug abuse is like so last...generation? Well at least we have the appropriate counselling for any involved now.

 

[Remus]

"Genius Chemical Engineer teaches Kindergartners. Hyjinks ensue." Really, it's far too late for this sequel, and it's direct to DVD. Hate to say it, but this is barely newsworthy. Ok, I just did, but it's true!

 

[MCerberus]

I can't.
I just won't.
And yet THEY DON'T STOP.

There was more demand for the Jem movie than this. Hold up, I need to decide on a reaction image.

Spoiler

It was either that or "I didn't ask for this"

 

[Something Amyss]

Well, thank God. This was the sequel that kept me up late at night. And now that I've got confirmation of both this and Episode VIII, I can finally sleep.

How did this get greenlit? Usually, low-budget direct-to-video sequels with none of the cast or characters of the original are done shortly after the movie they're supposedly sequels to, while the name is still big and marketable. If this were 1992 I could see this making sense, even if it'd still be awful, but 2016? I don't get it.

P.S. Thanks

I sort of suspect they're trying to cash in on the "so bad it's good" wave of the last decade, which is why I can't see it working.

 

[Mortuorum]

Well, thank God. This was the sequel that kept me up late at night. And now that I've got confirmation of both this and Episode VIII, I can finally sleep.

How did this get greenlit? Usually, low-budget direct-to-video sequels with none of the cast or characters of the original are done shortly after the movie they're supposedly sequels to, while the name is still big and marketable. If this were 1992 I could see this making sense, even if it'd still be awful, but 2016? I don't get it.

P.S. Thanks

I sort of suspect they're trying to cash in on the "so bad it's good" wave of the last decade, which is why I can't see it working.

I suspect it was created as a vehicle for The Governator and he passed on it. They already had the script (and maybe some preproduction) so the producers cast Dolph. They're pretty much the same guy, right?

 

[FPLOON]

Hay! The Pacifier was a passable movie that was better than it should be... Then again, I could just be saying that because I had a blast watching it in my middle school English class because we had nothing better to do that day, anyway...

Other than that, I can't figure out who will have the better acting in this movie: Dolph or any of the kids featured in this movie...

 

[Laughing Man]

So am I the only one that got half way through then clicked the Civil War Superbowl trailer link and promptly ignored the rest of whatever this trailer was about? So yeah Civil War looks fucking awesome... Kindergarten Cop 2? is that a thing... uh ok.