131: Games Are For Kids

[Mark Patience]

Games Are For Kids

"A friend in my workplace has recently bought The Orange Box and can't wait to play it. His wife is going away for a week, and he plans to get stuck in as soon as she goes. "Why wait?" I suggest. He looks embarrassed and mumbles something about how it would just be easier to do it while she's away. I say nothing in reply and feel an inward empathy."

Mark Patience describes the terrors of being an adult playing "a child's game."


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[hickwarrior]

that age-old debate thingy. But really, it is one of the things that make gamers more a-social towards society.

Also, if you own a DS, i'd rather use that when someone's somewhat later than usual, so i can use the sleep thingy of it, by closing the thing.

 

[Thegreatoz]

i would harldy describe a game that has you slaughter countless creatures and people as a childs game. There isnt an age limit on games...aside from ESRB, but thats just a suggestion really. Whats he suposed to do...watch the news and do taxes? Games arent for kids, they are for everybody.

 

[hickwarrior]

But if you look at the opinion of the masses, what would you think then?

Also, the masses are generally very misinformed if they have never played a video game in their life. They just see kids playing something, so if they see them playing video games, usually, they automatically think it's ONLY for them.

Maybe it's just me, but i think it's hard to keep an open mind on all subjects. You automatically make stereotypes of the people around you and if you like them. But you have to talk to them, everyone says, to get to know them and spend a day with ´em. However, such people seem to not know that we all do this automatically.

I think i´m digressing from what i´m trying to say, but my point is that we need something to identify something with, and be right in it, too. That may sound childish, but i think everyone wants to be the one that got the right answer and all.

Maybe that is why people tend to say gaming is childish. I dunno if i´m making sweeping generalizations, but to me, this seems to be the closest to the truth.

 

[oneplus999]

Yeah, unfortunately the "games are for children" idea simply can't be explained away. Even citing statistics like the average gamer age is 33 (http://www.theesa.com/facts/top_10_facts.php). The best approach IMHO is what you've already done - find a game that she likes and let her run with it. My mistake was to force some hard learning curve games on my fiancee, which she hated. Along comes Mario Galaxy and fixes it

Also, VERY IMPORTANT, in a situation you described, ONLY ONLY ONLY play games that you can immediately hop out of at a moments notice. Honestly, playing Portal is no excuse. Even in the middle of a Zelda dungeon, I can just pause it for a few hours and finish later. With Portal you can save it and exit at any time with zero work lost. In the eyes of others, having a hobby that prevents you from breaking and doing other things you want to/should do just makes that hobby look more like a crutch than something fun to do. There's nothing inherently wrong with games that require a dedicated chunk of time, but if you can't guarantee that you have that time, don't play it.

 

[the_carrot]

I'm thinking of buying my mother a copy of Portal...Somehow I feel like if she didn't have videogames pigeonholed already (and didn't have to learn the keys to move and such) She'd actually enjoy it. She'll never even boot it up however, just for what she thinks of video games in general. I'm still trying to connive a way to get her to play it. It taking a bit of reaction time will just ruin it. In some ways I wish Valve had stayed away from that, just to get people to play a "serious" video game. I think it would demystify it to some people, and some of the xenophobia would die.

 

[RamenJunkie]

I get this from my wife a lot but she's coming around a bit more. Mostly I play my DS because "I can play it anywhere in short bursts". Also I can use my son as an excuse to game now. The semi problem is though with my son I get to play more Lego Star Wars and less Grand Theft Auto or Team Fortress.

I guess we take what we can get.

Anyway, the only game she plays is PC solitaire on the laptop. I almost got her into SSX but it seems to have vanished completely.

Aklso what bugs me is she gets irritated if I'm not "spending time with her" and want to go use the computer or play a game but half the time we're together she's a TV zombie. At least I'm interacting with my entertainment.

 

[Dom Camus]

This whole scenario is very weird and alien to me. How can you date someone for six years and still have them acting intolerantly towards your hobby? I wouldn't have put up with that for six weeks.

(Aside: Isn't Portal a "save anytime" game? Or is that only the PC version?)

 

[Lightbulb]

To be honest look at it from her point of view:

You travel for ages, are tired, irritated and could really just do with some affection and someone to talk to. All you really want is to go out and forget about things.

You enter the room.

"Yeah i can't be bothered to talk to you right now. Give me 5 minutes."

So a game is more important than me? Nice.
-----

I'd tell you where to shove it and i love games...

 

[General Ma Chao]

Wouldn't it be great if we could all say what's really bothering us instead of trying to nag each other into submission? Life would be far more bearable.

People also need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. You must expect and accept the "other"ness of others. Drop the Pygmalion Syndrome people!

 

[VanishedOne]

To be honest look at it from her point of view:

You travel for ages, are tired, irritated and could really just do with some affection and someone to talk to. All you really want is to go out and forget about things.

You enter the room.

"Yeah i can't be bothered to talk to you right now. Give me 5 minutes."

So a game is more important than me? Nice.
-----

I'd tell you where to shove it and i love games...

So it's that other common problem in relationships: people wilfully misdirecting from what they actually mean, then finding that they're too competent at obfuscation to be understood. Her stated reaction was the thought that gaming in general is a childish pursuit; someone intimately involved with her for several years would hopefully be able to trust her to speak her mind fairly frankly, so I find it hard to blame the writer for failing to ignore what she said in favour of trying to guess at the underlying motivation.

 

[laikenf]

It used to be like that for me; that was until I bought my whife a nintendo DS (now she has as much games for her DS as I have for my PSP), so now I can game in peace. She usually joins in my virtual adventures lately as her curiosity towards games has been stimulated (for the better).

 

[propertyofcobra]

To be honest look at it from her point of view:

You travel for ages, are tired, irritated and could really just do with some affection and someone to talk to. All you really want is to go out and forget about things.

You enter the room.

"Yeah i can't be bothered to talk to you right now. Give me 5 minutes."

So a game is more important than me? Nice.
-----

I'd tell you where to shove it and i love games...

I'm so lucky that my wife shares my passion for games.
That said, my entire FAMILY used to have a deep-seated passion for games, so it would always be universally understood that no, you can't drop it right this exact moment, give me FIVE. MINUTES. To clean up and save. Then you have my undivided attention.

The underlying problem, one of attention, is a classic. Games are like books, some you can drop at any given millisecond. Others you need to get at least to the end of the paragraph and bookmark that place before you put it down.
A lot of people do not understand this, because they have minimal experience at best with the very unique medium of videogames.


As for the above quote...well, she was late. So it's more like

"I finally decided to get my keister over here, drop everything RIGHT NOW and pay attention to me! Clearly, whatever I did during my time not spent getting over here is MUCH more important than you and what you are doing!"
As the article's author said, it's not a matter of games, or ultimately, even one of "give me five minutes".
With the sort of person we're talking about here, I'm not surprised if it's that she expects him to sit, like a dog, right in front of the door, whining because mistress isn't here yet.
Because HER time is more important than HIS time.


Wow, I haven't even touched upon the problem of games being regarded as childish...eh. I feel that the relationship issue is a bit more important.

Games for kids? Well, no, not so much anymore. The average person thinking this might be the reason that "gaming are murder-simulators for kids" lawyers (no names mentioned.) prosper, though.
The average person's mind still links games with children, sure...
And they see violent FPS games line the gaming halls, should they look. Games that promise to put you right down in the battlefield and give you the sensation of shooting someone in the head with an automatic kalashnikov model 47.
Sadly, there's not much to do here but wait. Slowly, as more and more gamers grow up, people will stop thinking of it as "that newfangled thing the kids are doing these days" and start thinking of it as what it is, entertainment just like books or movies, but infinitely more interactive.

 

[The Irrelevant Gamer]

For me this issue is very simple. Gaming is my time. I don't put up with anyone who doesn't allow me to have a little time to myself. I've had girlfriends who have enjoyed playing games along with me, and others who don't want to see me pick up a controller, and the later just made me unhappy.

Anyone you do not live with should have absolutely no say over what you do with your time. I don't care if it is a group of peers (find better friends), or your mother (tell her you're an adult now, and you don't need her approval to do things).

I'm normally a pretty easygoing guy, but I have no tolerance for anyone who tries to make me feel ashamed of myself because I like to play video games (or for any other reason for that matter).

 

[Dom Camus]

I'd tell you where to shove it and i love games...

That sends a good signal - that you value five minutes of your time more than twenty minutes of my own. Also, extra minus points for grumpy, unconstructive attitude.

Y'know what... I don't think we should date. ;-)

 

[AnGeL.SLayer]

lol it's clear that most of you are single guys or guys who don't spend enough time with your girlfriends. I'm torn between saying give the man 5 minutes and that he should have just walked away. She did travel far to see him and was already late so in her mind he should have been ready to just head out. Though as a gamer I do understand the 'just 5 more minutes' plea. It's hard to explain why women go down the game path to cause blame on guys though we all have done it at some point or another. I guess its just easy. She was upset because she was late and he already found something else to fill his time with. Easily replaceable is what came to mind. "If I wasn't with him this is what he'd be doing..and seemingly what hed prefer." women like to know that your world is basically revolving around them. Perhaps not all the time but sometimes it has momentes when that needs to shine through more than anything esle. We need to feel needed and wanted. I guess you can say it comes down to jealously. as sad as that sounds, its true. The one moment you had to shine for your girl you blew it with the gamers plea. A simple show of, "your more important to me than this" and you didn't even realize it. That didn't score you any brownie points. You wouldn't have to walk away everytime. honestly if you did it a few times at least and every so often used the plea then she wouldnt mind at all. You need to establish that shes not below your games but when you ask for more time you just need to accomplish the goal you have your mind set to. to help your ego if you will. nothing more or less. lol sad but true act like a guy and the girl will get it more. you just need to establish that rank and then it shouldnt ever bother her again. Games will never be an issue between you two. after that she might auctally put more effort into learning more about the games you play. youd be suprised.

silly boys.

hehe

^_^

 

[bobmanuk]

I must have the best gamers life ever, I have a partner who not only likes to game but understands completely what i mean by, ive almost finished the level, please give me 5 more minutes... the only time my partner gets nasty is when ive promissed to do something (say clean the flat) but never do the thing i promissed... understandable in a way.

also my partner doesnt mind me gaming all hours of the night... because lets face it when you answer telephones for a living, you need some release from the world.

thats not to say the relationship is all one way, we went otu to see i am (bad at english?) legend, good film, had fun, had an even better night

my major bugbear was parents, I dont see them anymore for other reasons but when i lived at home they couldnt stop pestering me to get off my ass and do something useful, which for the most part resulted in an argument about what i "could" be doing... which ended up in me saying how gaming was my hobby and something i want to do... saying that though i did kind of bring them round to my side when i showed them what professional gamers can do... the likes of fatal1ty etc... they soon shut up

 

[PurpleRain]

Are watching movies childish. Unless you're watching Happy Bunny goes to School, then no. Same with games. Unless you're playing Barbie and whatever the stupid horse game was, then the answers still the same.

 

[romitelli]

The key is to just find a girl who isn`t an egocentric maniac.

(It takes a while, but it`s worth it)