Stolen Pixels #55: Crass Effect

Shamus Young

Shamus Young

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Stolen Pixels #55: Crass Effect

Ah, Mass Effect. Epic storyline, intricately detailed character models, and the potential for girl-on-girl action. Guess which one got the most attention?

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LaxLuster

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Dec 11, 2008
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Hooray for boobies. I hope that there will never be console peripherals with the potential to pinch us guys in sensitive areas... More or less because I can't think of a healthy application for it.
 
Yassen

Yassen

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/sigh. I remember hearing about this whole controversy but before getting the details I'd play it myself. Everything seemed modest in terms of decency, the characters were interesting and not full of cliche and the story was quite good.... then i watched that fox news report about Mass effect and I wanted to have my ears removed just for hearing such fail.

I think this whole thing made people realise the media were making shit up about games just so they have something controversial to talk about.... if that wasn't already obvious. But hopefully it also made the public more aware that games (or some should i say some games) actually have quite good stories and include sex just for the romance subplot. Frankly, when Mass Effect 2 comes out I wouldn't be surprised if Fox mentioned it's release, claiming what a brilliant story it has (and that would be even more ironic if it turns out it doesn't.)
 
Mariena

Mariena

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I wonder what kind of people actually watch Fox News and take it seriously. To me, it's on par with The Onion.
 
Eagle Est1986

Eagle Est1986

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Nov 21, 2007
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Excellent work Shamus! More Mass Effect please, it's the only reason I haven't sold my 360, infact, you've made me want to play it again. When's 2 out? I'm bored of waiting.
 
PedroSteckecilo

PedroSteckecilo

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Feb 7, 2008
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Great humor there...

I have to admit, I bit at the "lesbian sex" bait, playing a Female Character and hooking up with Liara, but on my second play through I realized I made the better choice. Jennifer Hale was a better voice than the male lead... and who the hell wanted to sleep with Kaidan Alenko? He was such a douche. But then again, most Female Characters in games get stuck with the whiney, needy members of the male cast (Carth, that annoying not-paladin from Baldurs Gate 2, Kaidan).
 
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Robyrt

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Jennifer Hale was way better than the male lead in that game, but Ashley is so much better to hook up with than Kaidan. Tough choices!
 
Clemenstation

Clemenstation

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Was there really any way to hook up with Kaiden without feeling a little... odd about it? As a ladybits marine I always went the Liara route (agree about the voice acting superiority, by the way). Just couldn't make myself do the small talk romancing with Kaiden.

I think that it's because if my girlfriend ever came in and said, "Oh hey, that Mass Effect game. What're you doing?" and I had to reply "Talking to this dude over and over so he'll bang me," I would never hear the end of it.
 
Dev Null

Dev Null

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Jul 29, 2008
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Hey! That's not a boob joke! Where's our boob joke?

Haven't played this one yet, so this was my first view of that... armour did you call it? Looks like some sort of vinyl fetish gear to me. Complete with faux panty-lines painted on the butt - fantastic!

Yeah yeah, I know; science fiction mumble-mumble hi-tech materials handwave alien tech reverse the polarity on the neutron flow. Blah. I don't care how tough the saran wrap that suit is made of is; it can't _weigh_ much. One hit from any kind of projectile weapon and shes going to be sitting on her skinny little painted arse. Whats wrong with big clunky armour that actually looks like armour?
 
Shamus Young

Shamus Young

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Confession: I did the romance thing with Kaiden, although I didn't do the deed at the very end. I liked his character and his story, although I never took him with me on missions because I liked to bring along people who would be useful in a fight. (Oh thanks for making those guys float for a few seconds Kaiden. Now you can stand there looking smug until they stop floating and KICK YOUR WIZARD ASS. Next time I'll bring Wrex, who will SHOOT PEOPLE instead of doing magic tricks for them.)

Anyway, I wouldn't have done the deed with any of them if the game didn't bribe me with an achievement for my trouble. Despite my infantile humor, I actually cringe at most movie / game sex scenes.
 
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Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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Shamus Young said:
Anyway, I wouldn't have done the deed with any of them if the game didn't bribe me with an achievement for my trouble. Despite my infantile humor, I actually cringe at most movie / game sex scenes.
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You sound really, really easy to bribe. You know what, I'll give you TWO achievements if you do a comic about Star Control 2 ;D

Speaking of 2s and Mass Effect, I hope the next game doesn't have a b-movie plot and boring sidequests :(
 
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illiterate

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Sep 10, 2008
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Dectilon said:
Shamus Young said:
Anyway, I wouldn't have done the deed with any of them if the game didn't bribe me with an achievement for my trouble. Despite my infantile humor, I actually cringe at most movie / game sex scenes.
Click to expand...
You sound really, really easy to bribe. You know what, I'll give you TWO achievements if you do a comic about Star Control 2 ;D

Speaking of 2s and Mass Effect, I hope the next game doesn't have a b-movie plot and boring sidequests :(
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If you're going old school, how about something involving original bionic commando and his unwillingness to BEND HIS KNEES to get over an obstacle. "I have to use this arm thing"
 
vede

vede

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Whoa... I thought he was acting like "lesbian" was a gender on its own. Then I found out he wasn't that kind of stupid. He's a different kind of stupid, but still just as stupid.

Stupid, stupid. There, that's five.
 
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Dectilon

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vdgmprgrmr said:
Whoa... I thought he was acting like "lesbian" was a gender on its own. Then I found out he wasn't that kind of stupid. He's a different kind of stupid, but still just as stupid.

Stupid, stupid. There, that's five.
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I thought he just had Shepard talk like your average youtube-user :)
 
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