Street Fighter IV Fashion Show Review
In the world of martial arts one day you're in, and the next day, you're out. Sporting new outfits for the first time in the series, find who makes it work and who just simply needs work.
Even for those like myself who are within spitting distance of Street Fighter IV [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/tag/street+fighter+iv] arcade machines, the wait for the console edition has gone from being a slight inconvenience to absolutely unbearable, as more and more console exclusive content is rolled out onto the web. From additional characters to feature-packed training modes, what players will be receiving at home on February 17 is almost enough to cause one to swear off the arcade edition as part of some sort of ritualistic fast.
Well, almost enough, anyway. With the addition of new characters comes new outfits as Street Fighter IV is the first in the series to offer an extra set of clothes for your favorite fighters, with previous entries in the series merely offering various color options for the standard outfits. In the arcade, unlocking these extra outfits meant tying a gameplay card to a special mobile website that could only be accessed via cell phone, and then purchasing them with a currency obtained by playing the game. The cost of which tallies up to a few hundred matches and quite a number of quarters lost. At home, you'll merely need a credit card and some extra cash, as they'll be made available for downloadable content.
IGN has put together a montage of all the alternate costumes [http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/948/948392p1.html] for your viewing pleasure as we judge them (in order of appearance) on the highly scientific scale of whether they're hot or whether they're just plain not.
El Fuerte: Like a school counselor I must advise him to pick one profession and stick to it. You're either a luchador or a cook and in this ensemble you just look like a confused, customized Tekken character.
Verdict: Not.
Akuma: I understand the Japanese symbolism behind the giant knots and I'm sure your thirteen year-old fanbase is going to eat it up and love how "totally badass" it makes you look, but I think it's a bit too much. It's a bit too costume.
Verdict: Not.
Gouken: Didn't I just say you're out?
Verdict: Not.
Fei-Long: I simply adore this. Where everyone thought you'd go the "Enter the Dragon [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077594/]" on us. And you've got your little shorts ... simply precious.
Verdict: Hot.
Cammy: While I'd ask if it'd kill you to put some pants on for crying out loud, I must say, the jacket and go-go boots work incredibly well together. And I suppose that if your best assets is well, you know, you might as well flaunt it.
Verdict: Hot.
Ryu: Where Cammy went shirts and no pants, you've gone no-shirt with pants. You're not one to take risks. We know you do the white gi look and you do it well, but you need to excite us. There's nothing worse in the world of fashion than to be boring. Well, I suppose its better than being a luchacook.
Verdict: Hot.
Chun-Li It's hard to go wrong with the little black dress, though this is a bit too simple. The choice of pattern coupled with the bright red pumps leads me to believe that you were dressed by a man.
Verdict: Not.
Gen: The mask is unique, functional -- with a hole for your old-man beard -- and it hides your ugly, zombified face. I love this.
Verdict: Hot.
E.Honda: Again with the giant knots. Unfortunately, there's not much to do with you, as being half-naked and showing off the goods is what the fans want and bless their hearts, they'll be getting it all now that you've gone full-booty on us.
Verdict: Hot.
Zangief: Now this is what alternate costumes are all about. Sure, it'll make players wish the mayor of Metro City himself were in the game, but this is a keeper.
Verdict: Hot.
Dhalsim: I'm sorry, did you do something different? Oh, I see what you did there, very cute. Next.
Verdict: Not.
Blanka: Jimmy thinks he's people! While you're one thread away from being a customized Virtua Fighter nightmare, I love this. I think it's the camera that makes the outfit.
Verdict: Hot.
Guile: You're dressed like your dead best friend. That's slightly creepy, but also totally awesome.
Verdict: Hot.
Ken: There may be a fine line between being avant-garde and a costume and I know you weren't going for avant-garde. Who do you think you are with that fuzzy collar and gold chain? The karate pimp? Back to the closet, Daniel-san.
Verdict: Not.
M.Bison: I like that you've ditched the hat for once, so now I don't have to refer to you as "hat" to my Japanese playing friends. Showing off the body a bit, that's good. I like it.
Verdict: Hot.
Sagat: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that it was time to get physical [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQXECBdPgEA]. The eye-patch-headband combo is well done, but unfortunately, you're covering up your best assets. Why would you do that?
Verdict: Not.
Balrog: It's like you're Apollo Creed from the hood. The love child of Uncle Sam and "Iron" Mike Tyson. I'm afraid of you and I love it.
Verdict: Hot.
Vega: It's hard to take you seriously as a narcissistic, murdering psychopath when you're wearing the puffy shirt [http://video.aol.com/video/seinfeld-season-five-and-six-clip-2-puffy/1432392] from Seinfeld. Sorry, but you missed the pirate craze already.
Verdict: Not.
Abel: This outfit says to me that you could very well go out there and win you some gold medals with "a broken freaking neck." All you need to do now is lose the straps during your Ultra combo so we can all shout about how "fired up" you are and it'd be complete.
Verdict: Hot.
C.Viper: Yes, we get it. You have very well developed breasts. For what you've traded in class you have made up for in sleaze, which isn't entirely a bad thing.
Verdict: Hot.
Rose: I see we're taking our fashion queues from ShamWow [http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=D&game_id=7667]. The breast-window seems tastefully done, which is a miraculous feat. Very well done.
Verdict: Hot.
Sakura: Little girl if I have seen your bloomers once I have seen them a million times. The Ryu impersonation, as usual, is spot-on, but perhaps you should have taken a queue from your more talented Doppelganger, Makoto, and put some pants on for once in your life.
Verdict: Not.
Dan: I'm not sure whether you're here to spar for the Street Fighter tournament or rob a bank. Either way, I'm amused.
Verdict: Hot.
Rufus: I'm sorry, but this is Street Fighter IV, not The Maw [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/5699-Review-The-Maw].
Verdict: Not.
Seth: Finally, someone takes my advice and one competitor is pants-less no more. Way to shift the paradigm, Seth. Urien would be proud.
Verdict: Hot.
Permalink
Even for those like myself who are within spitting distance of Street Fighter IV [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/tag/street+fighter+iv] arcade machines, the wait for the console edition has gone from being a slight inconvenience to absolutely unbearable, as more and more console exclusive content is rolled out onto the web. From additional characters to feature-packed training modes, what players will be receiving at home on February 17 is almost enough to cause one to swear off the arcade edition as part of some sort of ritualistic fast.
Well, almost enough, anyway. With the addition of new characters comes new outfits as Street Fighter IV is the first in the series to offer an extra set of clothes for your favorite fighters, with previous entries in the series merely offering various color options for the standard outfits. In the arcade, unlocking these extra outfits meant tying a gameplay card to a special mobile website that could only be accessed via cell phone, and then purchasing them with a currency obtained by playing the game. The cost of which tallies up to a few hundred matches and quite a number of quarters lost. At home, you'll merely need a credit card and some extra cash, as they'll be made available for downloadable content.
IGN has put together a montage of all the alternate costumes [http://xbox360.ign.com/articles/948/948392p1.html] for your viewing pleasure as we judge them (in order of appearance) on the highly scientific scale of whether they're hot or whether they're just plain not.
El Fuerte: Like a school counselor I must advise him to pick one profession and stick to it. You're either a luchador or a cook and in this ensemble you just look like a confused, customized Tekken character.
Verdict: Not.
Akuma: I understand the Japanese symbolism behind the giant knots and I'm sure your thirteen year-old fanbase is going to eat it up and love how "totally badass" it makes you look, but I think it's a bit too much. It's a bit too costume.
Verdict: Not.
Gouken: Didn't I just say you're out?
Verdict: Not.
Fei-Long: I simply adore this. Where everyone thought you'd go the "Enter the Dragon [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077594/]" on us. And you've got your little shorts ... simply precious.
Verdict: Hot.
Cammy: While I'd ask if it'd kill you to put some pants on for crying out loud, I must say, the jacket and go-go boots work incredibly well together. And I suppose that if your best assets is well, you know, you might as well flaunt it.
Verdict: Hot.
Ryu: Where Cammy went shirts and no pants, you've gone no-shirt with pants. You're not one to take risks. We know you do the white gi look and you do it well, but you need to excite us. There's nothing worse in the world of fashion than to be boring. Well, I suppose its better than being a luchacook.
Verdict: Hot.
Chun-Li It's hard to go wrong with the little black dress, though this is a bit too simple. The choice of pattern coupled with the bright red pumps leads me to believe that you were dressed by a man.
Verdict: Not.
Gen: The mask is unique, functional -- with a hole for your old-man beard -- and it hides your ugly, zombified face. I love this.
Verdict: Hot.
E.Honda: Again with the giant knots. Unfortunately, there's not much to do with you, as being half-naked and showing off the goods is what the fans want and bless their hearts, they'll be getting it all now that you've gone full-booty on us.
Verdict: Hot.
Zangief: Now this is what alternate costumes are all about. Sure, it'll make players wish the mayor of Metro City himself were in the game, but this is a keeper.
Verdict: Hot.
Dhalsim: I'm sorry, did you do something different? Oh, I see what you did there, very cute. Next.
Verdict: Not.
Blanka: Jimmy thinks he's people! While you're one thread away from being a customized Virtua Fighter nightmare, I love this. I think it's the camera that makes the outfit.
Verdict: Hot.
Guile: You're dressed like your dead best friend. That's slightly creepy, but also totally awesome.
Verdict: Hot.
Ken: There may be a fine line between being avant-garde and a costume and I know you weren't going for avant-garde. Who do you think you are with that fuzzy collar and gold chain? The karate pimp? Back to the closet, Daniel-san.
Verdict: Not.
M.Bison: I like that you've ditched the hat for once, so now I don't have to refer to you as "hat" to my Japanese playing friends. Showing off the body a bit, that's good. I like it.
Verdict: Hot.
Sagat: Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't aware that it was time to get physical [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQXECBdPgEA]. The eye-patch-headband combo is well done, but unfortunately, you're covering up your best assets. Why would you do that?
Verdict: Not.
Balrog: It's like you're Apollo Creed from the hood. The love child of Uncle Sam and "Iron" Mike Tyson. I'm afraid of you and I love it.
Verdict: Hot.
Vega: It's hard to take you seriously as a narcissistic, murdering psychopath when you're wearing the puffy shirt [http://video.aol.com/video/seinfeld-season-five-and-six-clip-2-puffy/1432392] from Seinfeld. Sorry, but you missed the pirate craze already.
Verdict: Not.
Abel: This outfit says to me that you could very well go out there and win you some gold medals with "a broken freaking neck." All you need to do now is lose the straps during your Ultra combo so we can all shout about how "fired up" you are and it'd be complete.
Verdict: Hot.
C.Viper: Yes, we get it. You have very well developed breasts. For what you've traded in class you have made up for in sleaze, which isn't entirely a bad thing.
Verdict: Hot.
Rose: I see we're taking our fashion queues from ShamWow [http://www.klov.com/game_detail.php?letter=D&game_id=7667]. The breast-window seems tastefully done, which is a miraculous feat. Very well done.
Verdict: Hot.
Sakura: Little girl if I have seen your bloomers once I have seen them a million times. The Ryu impersonation, as usual, is spot-on, but perhaps you should have taken a queue from your more talented Doppelganger, Makoto, and put some pants on for once in your life.
Verdict: Not.
Dan: I'm not sure whether you're here to spar for the Street Fighter tournament or rob a bank. Either way, I'm amused.
Verdict: Hot.
Rufus: I'm sorry, but this is Street Fighter IV, not The Maw [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/reviews/5699-Review-The-Maw].
Verdict: Not.
Seth: Finally, someone takes my advice and one competitor is pants-less no more. Way to shift the paradigm, Seth. Urien would be proud.
Verdict: Hot.
Permalink
