Stolen Pixels #74: The Business Plan

[Shamus Young]

Stolen Pixels #74: The Business Plan

Saints Row 2 teaches us that the key to any successful business venture is planning.

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[shirin238]

Lol,
Dunnow about the wal-mart stuff though, I am not an American...
But the way the media goes on and on about them I can so imagine it

 

[pseudoidiot]

I KNEW I saw a CSM at Wal-Mart packing heat the other day.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

Saints Row 2 does have this weird fucked up logic.

It's almost like you're complaining...

 

[Halbert]

Shamus, you have to use "video game logic."

It's similar to ours, but you have to start with the assumption that wanton violence is the solution to any problem.

Any problem.

 

[Robyrt]

You'd think that these guys would have learned by example. The best business model for organized crime (Mafia, Yakuza, etc) goes like this:

1) Extort protection money
2) Buy guns to kill rival gangs
3) Costs of protection go down thanks to lack of rival gangs
4) Boring, white-collar crime like stock market fraud
5) Profit!

 

[Dogstile]

i thought it was more

1)steal guns
2) shoot rival gang
3)rule city
4)??????
5)profit!

but yes, video game logic is needed for saints two, which i still have yet to get

 

[dekkarax]

Wait, Ultor? Weren't they the evil mining corporation from Red Faction?

 

[Scarlet Knight]

Somehow, I think a game where the main action is transfering money to your offshore account would get boring quick. (Hmmm, "Sheisters & Stockholders" anyone?)

Remember one of OOTS's earliest rules of gaming, "When in doubt, set something on fire."

This works very well with things that are ...um..."blow-up-able"...

 

[Doug]

Saints Row 2 does have this weird fucked up logic.

QFT!

Still, tis fun.

 

[Scarlet Knight]

Hey, I just noticed the statue. Is that Saint Beretta?

 

[lebkin]

Wait, Ultor? Weren't they the evil mining corporation from Red Faction?

Yes. Ultor IS the company from Red Faction. Both games are Volition developed, and they are cross-pollinating their franchises.

 

[johansan]

Absolutely brilliant .

 

[Clemenstation]

Sounds about right. I don't think anybody bought this game for its ironclad logic.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

Shamus, you have to use "video game logic."

It's similar to ours, but you have to start with the assumption that wanton violence is the solution to any problem.

Any problem.

Hey, we've been accepting this sort of logic since the mid-80s. Remember Final Fight?

"Mayor! Mayor Haggar! Lawlessness has broken out all over the city! Armed gangs are burning businesses and shaking down innocents for protection money! And they say they've kidnapped your daughter, too!"

"Damn! What are the police doing?"

"They're holed up in the station, as scared as anyone else!"

"And there's no time for an emergency meeting of the legislature, and I don't feel like calling the Governor to have the National Guard sent in... oh well. Let me take off my shirt and call a couple of friends of mine. Then we'll walk to the right and beat the snot out of anyone who's dressed funny."

"Excellent plan, sir!"