No G.I. Joe For Movie Critics

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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No G.I. Joe For Movie Critics


G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra [http://www.paramount.com/] by refusing to provide screenings for critics before the movie hits theaters.

It happens now and then. Movie studios make a film, realize they've got a big bag of stinkola on their hands and then do whatever they can to squeeze some box office receipts out of it before the bad word gets out. Gamers might recall that something similar occurred with kept away from critics [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0891592/], with good reason as it turned out.

So it might come as bad news to anyone hoping the new G.I. Joe flick will be a solid action romp that Paramount is making critics who want to see the movie fork over their cash along with everyone else on opening night. It's a "highly unusual move" for a big-budget film being positioned as a major summer blockbuster, according to the L.A. Times [http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/entertainmentnewsbuzz/2009/08/paramount-says-no-joe-to-critics.html], particularly in light of the fact that as recently as last Thursday, the studio was telling critics that it would in fact be arranging advance screenings.

The film isn't being hidden from everyone; sites like flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans [http://www.aintitcool.com/node/41748]" will provide enough of an audience to turn it into a hit.

"Our starting point for this movie is not Hollywood and Manhattan but rather mid-America," said Paramount Vice Chairman Rob Moore. "There are a group of people we think are going to respond to the movie who are normally not the first priority. But we're making them a priority."

If he's right, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra could end up jockeying with fellow toy-and-cartoon movie And knowing is half the battle! [http://www.transformersmovie.com/]


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oliveira8

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Feb 2, 2009
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Well..considering that I don't really see G.I. Joe ever being a big thing outside of the States...This movie is doomed to fail from the begining.
 

SendMeNoodz84

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Jun 11, 2009
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Doesn't this movie have Damon Wayans? For that fact alone, anybody who thought this movie was going to be good deserves a slap in the face. Damon Wayans: Failure.
 

ChromeAlchemist

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Aug 21, 2008
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There's an error in that article, but I won't point it out. Why? Why not? (It's near the top). God, am I one of the EscaGestapo now?

I was positive this was going to fail from day one anyway. G.I. Joe to my knowledge was never popular outside the states. However my friend liked the look of it, I didn't dignify his expressions of glee with a response.
 

HardRockSamurai

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May 28, 2008
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Look kids, if the movie is afraid of an audience, the thing movies are supposed to entertain, then it obviously is just being made for the purpose of money, and it won't be any good.

Hey, we should put that in a G.I. Joe PSaaa..............oh wait, nevermind........
 

cobra_ky

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Nov 20, 2008
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SendMeNoodz84 said:
Doesn't this movie have Damon Wayans? For that fact alone, anybody who thought this movie was going to be good deserves a slap in the face. Damon Wayans: Failure.
it's marlon, not damon. i'm not sure if that's higher or lower on the Wayans scale of bad acting.
 

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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Malygris said:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"
I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free
 

Nurb

Cynical bastard
Dec 9, 2008
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no no no... its going to be worse than shit, because they have some stupid band singing: "I.. am.. AMERICAN BADASS"

it doesn't matter what movie it is, a terrible song like that means it's going to be one of the worst movies ever made.. but idiots still pay to go see it and perpetuate the cycle of crap hollywood churns out. Why spend money on a good story and dialogue when people pay to see mindless action and partially nude women (even tho they can get nude women online for free) XD
 

IamQ

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Mar 29, 2009
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dogstile said:
Malygris said:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"
I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free
Heh, thought you said "in the sky" first. Would be weird, suddenly seeing a huge screen in the sky showing the G.I Joe movie.
 

Amnestic

High Priest of Haruhi
Aug 22, 2008
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Malygris said:
realize they've got a bag big of stinkola on their hands
Bag big of stinkola? :p

Yeah, not surprised. Generally when they refuse to show a film to critics it means it's shite.
 

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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iamq said:
dogstile said:
Malygris said:
"flag-waving, Nascar-loving Americans"
I snorted, did a spit take, and fell off my chair at the stereotyping there.

the film is almost guaranteed to be horrible at this point. i suppose i'll watch it when they're showing it on sky for free
Heh, thought you said "in the sky" first. Would be weird, suddenly seeing a huge screen in the sky showing the G.I Joe movie.
nope, we should do that with a decent film though, one that lived up to everyones expectations

can anyone name one?
 

Viruzzo

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Jun 10, 2009
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Still, maybe it's good move. Is it better if people are certain that it sucks, or are quite sure? Hell, it may even be a decent movie... Not.
 

tehroc

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Jul 6, 2009
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The second they put on these "accelerator suits" they cease being GI Joes and are just The Accelerators.