Polar Bears Flex in New Muscle March Footage

Tom Goldman

Crying on the inside.
Aug 17, 2009
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Polar Bears Flex in New Muscle March Footage


Muscle March is one of the strangest Japanese games in recent history, and it's coming to WiiWare next year.

Have you ever wanted to stare at a man's muscled buttocks as he races through a city, smashing through walls? WiiWare's Muscle March is the game for you. New footage of the game has been released, which may look like one of those titles that wouldn't make the trek out of Japan, but rest assured it's set to release in North America early next year.

After first seeing Japanese footage of the game, it didn't make a whole lot of sense, probably because I was overwhelmed by weird. Now, the gameplay looks fairly simple. A line of musclemen, of which the player is one, chase a football player (who is apparently a thief) through a city. The football player flexes into different positions as he smashes through walls, and you must flex into the same arm position as him or else you will lose health. As the musclemen in front of you fail, it gets tougher to properly flex in time, but if you keep it up the football player gets tackled in a giant pile on and you win.

Up to four players can join in the flexing at once, choosing from seven characters, and there is even an Endless Rush mode. Can anyone explain what it is about muscled men that the Japanese like so much? I don't know what else to say other than that this game is just plain silly, but it does look like it would amuse for a short while at least too.

Oh, did I mention this thing is in it?



He's touted as one of the features, and boy is he. Bow before your new lord. Muscle March is coming in Winter 2010 to WiiWare.

(Via: WiiNintendo [http://www.wiinintendo.net/2009/12/21/new-crazy-footage-from-muscle-march/])

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GreyWolf257

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Oct 1, 2009
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That is just... weird. All of it. I'm don't think I can continue typing without including the word "homosexual" in any other sentences.
 

Sewblon

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Nov 5, 2008
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ma55ter_fett said:
What gender is that polar bear?
It is topless, and this is a Wiiware title, so it must be male. What I don't understand is where did the rest of those guys come from at the end, since they were nowhere near the player when he took down the football player.
 

ma55ter_fett

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Oct 6, 2009
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Sewblon said:
ma55ter_fett said:
What gender is that polar bear?
It is topless, and this is a Wiiware title, so it must be male. What I don't understand is where did the rest of those guys come from at the end, since they were not anywhere near the player when he took down the football player.
Just a bunch of g-stap wearing guys makeing a homoerotic man pile.
Onmi said:
Dude... Gay.
I have to agree.
 

Generator

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May 8, 2009
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Y'know, I found a video of this game on YouTube a couple of months ago. ...It hasn't gotten any easier to watch.
 

KeyMaster45

Gone Gonzo
Jun 16, 2008
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I smell this decade's Katamari coming down the pipe, this game is insane enough to make it on my "must rent" list.

--EDIT--
Rather I should say next decade's Katamari since it's prolly coming out next year, and no I don't care if mathematically decades start on the 1 because logically that would mean there was no year 0.
 

Flour

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Mar 20, 2008
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As a complete guess I assumed this was about large, hairy gay men [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_(gay_culture)]. While I got it almost completely wrong, at least it isn't as weird as another Japanese game featuring muscular men in their underwear [http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/sexual-games/10.php].
 

Deleted

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Jul 25, 2009
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You think Japan is all schoolgirls and manga artist with some PS2 on the side till you see terrifying things like this and ganguro. I swear I'm never going to japan till I know the language enough to say 'get away from me!'