Japanese Erotic Game Keeps Self-Pleasure Statistics

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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Japanese Erotic Game Keeps Self-Pleasure Statistics



What's the thing you want most in a Japanese porn game? Is it the ability to track how many times you choke the chicken? If the answer is yes, then boy, do we have an eroge for you.

Let's be honest here: Most of the people who play Japanese erotic games aren't doing so because they find the story interesting and the characters compelling and likable. Most of the people who play eroge are doing it just to get their rocks off - and now, finally, we have a game that quantifies just that.

Migite ga tomaranai boku to, osanajimi no shimai (a title which very loosely translates to "A story about me - a guy who can't stop masturbating - and two sisters I was childhood friends with," is an eroge developed by Waffle [http://www.waffle1999.com/game/34migite/migite.html]. It clearly knows its focus right from the title screen (or, indeed, the title), because the title contains an in-game masturbation stats page that helps you keep track of your time spent slap-boxing the one-eyed champ.

According to Canned Dogs [http://zepy.momotato.com/2010/02/18/cant-find-anything-else-to-post-about/], the masturbation statistics keep track of important things such as: "Today's playstyle: Socks masturbation", "Number of times you wanked today", "Total number of times wanked so far (graph display possible)", "Time taken for ejaculation" and "Average time taken for ejaculation."

Not only does the game keep track of "Total time spent wanking so far" and "Total number of ejaculations so far," but it'll also show you in handy graph form just how long you take to flog the dolphin!

If ever there was a meter to quantify loneliness, this is it.

(Via Kotaku [http://kotaku.com/5475347/nsfw-erotic-game-tracks-alone-time])

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Binerexis

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Dec 11, 2009
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The real question is how will that progress the game?

"You need two more gallons of ejaculate to continue!"
 

tomtom94

aka "Who?"
May 11, 2009
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Oh Japan.

That's all there really is to say, isn't it?

This is just funny. I almost hope it gets a translation...
 

ultimateownage

This name was cool in 2008.
Feb 11, 2009
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Wow, I just have to wonder: who actually cares about those statistics? I know I would be too busy jacking off.
 

Deofuta

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Nov 10, 2009
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Uh oh, Escapist Forums beat the Escapist it self!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.176264-New-japanes-erotic-game-lets-you-track-your-playing-with-yourself-time
 

FactualSquirrel

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Dec 10, 2009
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Amnestic said:
I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?
You probably press an "I've finished" button.

Or it uses a camera to tell you when you've stopped moving, but that's just creepy.
 

Eagle Est1986

That One Guy
Nov 21, 2007
1,976
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How does the game know? Is there a peripheral that you attach to your wang and wrist? Similar to the Wii?
 

Gigano

Whose Eyes Are Those Eyes?
Oct 15, 2009
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Amnestic said:
I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?
Playstation eye?

I think/hope/pray to Dawkins that it´s tracking the ingame protagonists' (probably player controlled) digital masturbation though...

Why, Japan, why? Is it a severely limited edition gift game for Michael Atkinson and pals? Who would ever buy this???
 

thenumberthirteen

Unlucky for some
Dec 19, 2007
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Deofuta said:
Uh oh, Escapist Forums beat the Escapist it self!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.176264-New-japanes-erotic-game-lets-you-track-your-playing-with-yourself-time
That happens all the time.
 

Sevre

Old Hands
Apr 6, 2009
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This is terrifying, how am I going to shake hands with the one-eyed milkman while staring at a graph?
 

Hazy

New member
Jun 29, 2008
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Amnestic said:
I've gotta ask beause it's bugging me: How does it know?
They [http://www.treehugger.com/spy-in-bushes.jpg] are always watching.

Well, I appreciate that they're giving you data in correlation to the amount of spankage occurs.
[sub]Japan truly is the land of strange and hilarious.[/sub]
 

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
20,364
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Deofuta said:
Uh oh, Escapist Forums beat the Escapist it self!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/9.176264-New-japanes-erotic-game-lets-you-track-your-playing-with-yourself-time
Honestly?

We don't care. They're two different things. As has been explained over and over again.
 

TheSpider

New member
Jan 28, 2010
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An expensive stopwatch? This doesn't really suprise me.

Spending all that money to see a graph of how cripplingly lonely you are doesn't really appeal to me.
 

Binerexis

New member
Dec 11, 2009
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Sevre90210 said:
This is terrifying, how am I going to shake hands with the one-eyed milkman while staring at a graph?
The graph is obviously going to be on the underwear of your little sister's best friend or something if history has told us anything about these games.
 

iLikeHippos

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Jan 19, 2010
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Now I've met my laughing-quota for the day.

OT: I believe it'll be somewhat popular. Shit sells.