$2.50 Reviews: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

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$2.50 Reviews:
Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
<img height=400>http://i69.servimg.com/u/f69/16/09/70/40/poster15.png

When a film is titled "Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus", one would expect to see two large creatures of the sea fighting one another for a good portion of the film. In this case, you can be forgiven for expecting that, because the end result isn't anything near a big fight for 90 minutes. Instead, we get a few humans trying to figure out what is going on, only intermittently broken up so that we can see the two creatures do things.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="177" Caption="Best part of the film, and all you get is a blurry image." Align="left"]http://i69.servimg.com/u/f69/16/09/70/40/vlcsna10.png[/Img_Inline]

The story goes something like this: Two gigantic sea creatures end up getting defrosted because of the melting ice caps. They cause some havoc around the world, and the humans need to figure out how to stop them from doing this. They end up deciding to have the two creatures fight one another, luring them into one location so that we can have the big fight that the title promises. Oops, I just told you what the humans decide one hour into the film.

I don't care though, as the title more or less gave it away. The first hour of this film isn't even really worth watching, save to see a shark jump tens of thousands of feet into the air in order to grab an airplane and drag it down to the depths. That one scene, terrible CGI and all, is the only part of the first hour that is actually worth seeing, and I'm sure you can see it on the internet somewhere.

Instead, if you decide to watch this film, fast-forward to the one hour mark, and you will see everything that actually matters. You will hear the humans' plan to bring the two creatures together, and you will get to see them do something that somewhat resembles "fighting". You will feel exactly the same emotional connection to the humans and the creatures, and you will get a good idea about the hour you missed out on.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="177" Caption="Here's what the octopus looks like." Align="right"]http://i69.servimg.com/u/f69/16/09/70/40/octopu10.jpg[/Img_Inline]

And if you still don't know what you missed, you might not be alone. You'll get a good sense of the poor editing job within the film, seemingly done to make it as confusing as possible for the viewer. Or maybe just to cover up for the low budget, one of the two. There are often flashes on the screen, followed by more flashes that obscure most of the action. Maybe this was done to make the film feel like its events were actually sporadic, but it ends up just making the action hard to follow.

Oh, and in case you weren't aware, this film had a really low budget, at least in terms of the CGI used for the two creatures. They look about as real as they would if they were in a PS2 game, maybe even less so. But you should have already figured out that this wasn't going to be a masterpiece just by the title. It's a B-movie, but it isn't cheesy enough to warrant a watch.

Most of its problems, even for what it tries to be, come from its narrative. Overlook, for a second, its poor CGI creatures and acting, and you take a look just at the story. The humans within the film don't matter one iota, and choosing to focus on them for the majority of the film was the worst decision of the production. Even if you do watch the first hour, you will be bored by their story, uncaring towards their characters, and possibly offended that the title of the film was as deceiving as it is.

[Img_Inline width="275" height="177" Caption="This image is more enjoyable to look at than this film." Align="left"]http://i69.servimg.com/u/f69/16/09/70/40/_shark10.jpg[/Img_Inline]

You know what? Maybe Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus would work a lot better as a short film. Then we could forget about the humans and just watch two ferocious creatures battle it out for a few minutes. That could easily be entertaining. In fact, that's exactly what this film should be. It should be put up on YouTube as a 12 minute short, cutting out all of the humans in order to just watch the creatures destroy things before destroying each other. And trust me, it would be a lot more enjoyable.

In short, this film is just not worth your time. Even for fans of B-movies, it will fail to entertain. There is actually only a few minutes focusing on the shark and octopus mentioned in the title; the rest if spent on humans that you won't care about whatsoever. The battle that does take place is too short and boring to save the film, the CGI is incredibly poor and the acting is laughable. The writing and dialogue comes through terribly, while the editing makes what little action there is hard to follow. A more appropriate title would be: "Boring Humans Minus Giant Creatures Equals Boring Film".

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<url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.263899-2-50-Reviews-Brokeback-Mountain-2005>Brokeback Mountain | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.264054-2-50-Reviews-The-Painted-Veil-2006>The Painted Veil | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.264273-2-50-Reviews-Atonement-2007>Atonement | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.264463-2-50-Reviews-Lost-in-Translation-2003>Lost in Translation | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.264607-2-50-Reviews-Valentines-Day-2009-Valentines-Week-Wrap-up>Valentine's Day | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.264833-2-50-Reviews-Just-Peck-2009>Just Peck | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265062-2-50-Reviews-The-Big-Hit-1998>The Big Hit | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265237-2-50-Reviews-Role-Models-2008>Role Models | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265439-2-50-Reviews-Antz-1998>Antz | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265625-2-50-Reviews-Greenberg-2010>Greenberg | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265779-2-50-Reviews-The-Children-2008>The Children | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.265963-2-50-Reviews-Frozen-2010>Frozen | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.266209-2-50-Reviews-Prince-of-Persia-The-Sands-of-Time-2010>Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.266446-2-50-Reviews-Ellie-Parker-2005>Ellie Parker | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.266917-2-50-Reviews-Daybreakers-2010>Daybreakers | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.267136-2-50-Reviews-Blow-2001>Blow | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.267306-2-50-Reviews-Donnie-Darko-2001>Donnie Darko | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.268213-2-50-Reviews-Spider-Man-2002>Spider-Man | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.268438-2-50-Reviews-Spider-Man-2-2004>Spider-Man 2 | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.268654-2-50-Reviews-Spider-Man-3-2007>Spider-Man 3 | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.268811-2-50-Reviews-Date-Night-2010>Date Night

Marter to the Movies: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.248819-Marter-to-the-Movies-Harry-Potter-and-the-Deathly-Hallows-Part-1>Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.251569-Marter-to-the-Movies-The-Fighter>The Fighter | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.254137-Marter-to-the-Movies-Fair-Game>Fair Game | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.254228-Marter-to-the-Movies-Black-Swan>Black Swan | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.254454-Marter-to-the-Movies-True-Grit>True Grit | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.261937-Marter-to-the-Movies-The-Kings-Speech>The King's Speech | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.263176-Marter-to-the-Movies-No-Strings-Attached>No Stings Attached

Marter Watches Television: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.266686-Marter-Watches-Television-United-States-of-Tara-Season-1>United States of Tara (Season 1) | <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.267765-Marter-Watches-Television-United-States-of-Tara-Season-2>United States of Tara (Season 2)

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Sassafrass

This is a placeholder
Legacy
Apr 6, 2020
51,250
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United Kingdom
Misleading PM notification was misleading. Blast.

I had hoped this film would be one of the best "dumb" films made but sadly, if it's as bad as you say it is...I shall have to give it a big old skip. Although I doubt I'd find it in shops here in good old England, we rarely stock movies that only a few have heard of. :p

As for the review, a very good one, as one should expect from someone who has reviewed a lot of movies in the 6 months or so. I couldn't spot any grammatical or spelling errors. I'll take a look again tomorrow when I have fresher eyes to see if I can spot any.
 

Dango

New member
Feb 11, 2010
21,066
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Great review, but I actually really, really enjoyed watching it, just because of how hilariously terrible the writing and acting are.

And here's that plane scene:

Edit: Also, there's a sequel apparently.
I need to go watch that.
 

Marter

Elite Member
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
14,276
15
43
Sassafrass said:
Misleading PM notification was misleading. Blast.

I had hoped this film would be one of the best "dumb" films made but sadly, if it's as bad as you say it is...I shall have to give it a big old skip. Although I doubt I'd find it in shops here in good old England, we rarely stock movies that only a few have heard of. :p
Yeah...I was misleading. I was really hoping it would be a so bad it's good film, but...it's just terrible in my eyes. An absolute waste of my 90 minutes.

As for the review, a very good one, as one should expect from someone who has reviewed a lot of movies in the 6 months or so. I couldn't spot any grammatical or spelling errors. I'll take a look again tomorrow when I have fresher eyes to see if I can spot any.
Nononono, that's okay. No need to give it more than a once over! :p

And I'm almost at 180 reviews now!
 

Marik2

Phone Poster
Nov 10, 2009
5,462
0
0
Dango said:
Great review, but I actually really, really enjoyed watching it, just because of how hilariously terrible the writing and acting are.

And here's that plane scene:

Edit: Also, there's a sequel apparently.
I need to go watch that.
LOL I hope the sequel is more entertaining than this film.

Marter said:
And here I thought it was gonna be an hour of cool fighting from a giant shark and giant octopus.

Thank you for telling me I should just watch that scene on youtube.

Im sure its there somewhere.
 

Ubervelt

New member
Aug 22, 2010
47
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0
Totaly agree with your review. Was a bad movie, bad acting and bad CGI. What was good (good for a laugh) was the trailer. This movie is fail.
 

Outright Villainy

New member
Jan 19, 2010
4,334
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0
Awh, I was really hoping it would be awesome, given the level of win in that famous scene where he jumps and eats the plane.

I might just watch it anyway actually, just for more of that...
 

DustyDrB

Made of ticky tacky
Jan 19, 2010
8,365
0
0
It doesn't even have "bad movie entertainment value"? Disappointing. Oh well...

Hey, you should watch Monsters. It's on Netflix now, I had never heard of it before today and was pleasantly surprised.
 

RaphaelsRedemption

Eats With Her Mouth Full
May 3, 2010
1,409
0
0
DustyDrB said:
It doesn't even have "bad movie entertainment value"? Disappointing. Oh well...

Hey, you should watch Monsters. It's on Netflix now, I had never heard of it before today and was pleasantly surprised.
I'm going to back you up on the Monsters recommendation. A very nice surprise to watch.

And, as always, another good review. I'm using your reviews as a guide to my movie viewing more and more these days. Well done!
 

Zer_

Rocket Scientist
Feb 7, 2008
2,682
0
0
The sequel actually looks better, lol. Robert Picardo?! Fuck yea!
 

dkcecil

New member
Mar 8, 2011
56
0
0
I've seen so many of the Sci-fi originals and this was one of the better ones. It was really slow in the beginning but the Mega Shark eating the bridge is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. (in terms of hilarity)

Plus, Debbie Gibson was cute as all hell in this.