202: Looking for Group Therapy

Richard Hehemann

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Dec 19, 2008
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Looking for Group Therapy

What do MMOG characters do when they're not under players' command? In Richard Hehemann's estimation, they gather together to seek comfort from a cruel, uncaring world they can neither control nor understand.
Brandic stood in the doorway of a small room, filled with chairs arrayed in a circle. He was about to enter when he heard a man - a barbarian fighter by the looks of him - speak.

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Akaros

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Feb 8, 2008
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Oh the things our characters would say if they could talk. All we can hope is that ours won't have too much to complain about... Awesome story though, poor HaxxorBoi.
 

The Great JT

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Oct 6, 2008
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Y'know, I always wondered what our MMO characters do when we're not around. I figure they get drunk, or snort mana wyrms in the case of my blood elf characters in World of Warcraft. Or maybe play World of Earthcraft.

And poor, poor HaxxorBoi. I mourn for your lost linguistics skills.
 

Clemenstation

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Dec 9, 2008
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I assume the one guy who talked in Ye Olde Fantasae-Englishe was from a role-playing server?

Nice story, way to rope in the tropes.
 

JRCB

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Jan 11, 2009
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I found it funny how the title holds the phrase "Looking For Group", and the guy who wrote it's name is Richard. Interesting read, though.
 

Chipperz

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Apr 27, 2009
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I loved every second of this - very funny (and depressingly true) stuff, man! I wonder what my character's thinking about me...
 

Blind0bserver

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Mar 31, 2008
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I feel a very real urge to apologize to my Necromancer in Guild Wars for a number of things. Things like deaths I tried my best to avoid for one, but mainly for the fact at all the armor that's available for her profession makes her look like some sort of fetish enthusiast.

I am so sorry about that, Selene. I really am...
 

Roamin11

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Jan 23, 2009
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I'm glad I don't play any MMOG's so I don't have to worry about scaring some sort of mage with blasting a lvl 100 beast with a lvl -2 spell
 

CoverYourHead

High Priest of C'Thulhu
Dec 7, 2008
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I feel so bad for my WoW characters, they must hate going through raids... ah well.

Oh, and hilarious stuff.
 

Vim-Hogar

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Sep 2, 2008
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Quite amusing. I'd add that I don't even play WoW, but I have enough friends who do that I suppose it's close enough.

The funny thing is though, behind it all these characters are reflections of the people who play them, with all their quirks and flaws. Certainly makes for a different angle on human nature.
 

Xanadeas

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Oct 19, 2008
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I feel sorry for my Blood Elf Mage now... That corpse run through the Plaguelands and Ghostlands at level 20 really must have hurt.
 

tasthesose

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Mar 20, 2009
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Now on to the mystery of the Refrigerator Light! But I imagine they sit around and play Lawyers & Litigants, or good old SimCity.
 

For Science

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Apr 27, 2009
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I don't play MMOs, I am spared the gilt trip.
Now I shall go and play Operation Flashpoint, Judge me as you will.
 

whaleswiththumbs

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Feb 13, 2009
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The Great JT said:
Y'know, I always wondered what our MMO characters do when we're not around. I figure they get drunk, or snort mana wyrms in the case of my blood elf characters in World of Warcraft. Or maybe play World of Earthcraft.

And poor, poor HaxxorBoi. I mourn for your lost linguistics skills.

how said for him, maybe he should die a few times. This makes me want to go play an MMO, but it also makes me feel bad about it...
 

Charli

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Nov 23, 2008
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I just know my character is most likely a biatch...she deserves every death-wipe she gets.
But shes a Paladin, she can take it.
 

Archemetis

Is Probably Awesome.
Aug 13, 2008
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Man I can only hope my little Gnome Tinkerella can forgive me for the amount of times i've thrown her off Waterfalls for the sake of funny Roleplay...

Sorry, Tink' :<
 

MmmFiber

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Apr 19, 2009
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"Relax, everyone. He's combat specced," said Graylock.

Best line in the whole article. Too bad he wasn't subt. Combat Daggers though? Puh-lease.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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You know, once in a while, I like to imagine what my various characters do when I'm not playing them. Honestly I'd hope they'd never end up in a group like this... 'cause most of them could seriously hurt me if they ever had a way.
 

Lady K

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Apr 16, 2009
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Loved it! Although for me, I try to act like I assume my characters would, and I like to give each one their own personality. It just makes it fun for me >w>
 

Bluebacon

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May 13, 2009
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That was really funny. Poor HaxxorBoi. On the other hand, what if our characters are really controlling us?
 

stormcaller

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Sep 6, 2008
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...I'm sorry Bloodax, it wasn't me who organised those massive drunken get togethers in Thralls chamber.


(Yes it was)
 

Thanatos34

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Mar 31, 2009
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That was pretty darn funny. I wonder if a book could be written along those lines, something like that old cartoon show Reboot.
 

restoshammyman

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Jan 5, 2009
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kinda makes me feel sad for my shaman.
i suck at pvp and she gets ganked alot.
maybe i should get some gladiator gear.
 

Rhayn

Free of All Weakness
Jul 8, 2008
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I bet my characters have the time of their lives now. Haven't been Controlling for half a year.

I can already see my human warlock, night elf hunter, blood elf paladin, blood elf death knight, tauren druid and my undead rogue all chilling out on the beaches of Stranglethorn.

Oh jesus, I just realized how many high-level characters I have.
 

garfoldsomeoneelse

Charming, But Stupid
Mar 22, 2009
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Harkonnius, Spacelamb, Shamwhoa, Mordhaus, Northeia... I owe all of you an apology.

Extremely well done, Hehemann. I look forward to your next contribution(s).
 

Richard Hehemann

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Dec 19, 2008
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Toy story and wow, have seen this story to many times to be over enthusiastic but it was ok.
i think my chars are resting now after the 21h session i joust finished =)
 

Scrythe

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Jun 23, 2009
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I can't believe I'm making this kind of reference:

But this reminds me of a certain Fairly Oddparents episode in which they break the fourth wall and admit that all of their corny dialog is all of the fault of The Writer. I believe there was even a line deliberately thrown in where someone screams something alone the lines of "Curses! It's all The Writer's fault!"

All-in-all, if found this article amusing in ways it shouldn't. Huh. Maybe a little sunlight could do me some good after all...
 

Blackmagic1515

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Jul 6, 2009
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Thanatos34 said:
That was pretty darn funny. I wonder if a book could be written along those lines, something like that old cartoon show Reboot.
Yahtzee's book Mogworld is similar to this. It's also very funny and a great read.

OT: A good laugh. Time to go apologuise to my fire mage for making her such a physcho.

Wow, I did not look at the date on this. Damn it's old. Please ignore my comment, sorry to have bothered you.