Stolen Pixels #232: The History of Civilization, Part 3

Shamus Young

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Stolen Pixels #232: The History of Civilization, Part 3

Historians widely consider the Lennon/Bach/Cobain collaboration the best supergroup of all time.

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PurpleSkull

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Mar 20, 2009
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Didn't they say you will meet leaders in different locations based on their personality? SO if i start a game with random personalities, i can see Ghandi next to this burning city? Would be more accurate anyway.
 

VulakAerr

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This made me roflcopter so hard. Especially the pirate ship. Happens ALL THE TIME!
 
Feb 13, 2008
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lockeslylcrit said:
I laughed hard at The Battle of LOLOLOLOL. Happens every time in my games.
That made me LOL as well.

Shamus Young said:
The gameworld spawns barbarians in unclaimed areas of the map. These guys roughly scale up in tech with everyone else. I understand why it does this from a gameplay perspective, but it looks ridiculous. Near the endgame you have these little wooden forts that churn out infantrymen with automatic weapons and modern battleships. The automatic weapons I can sort of understand, but I don't know how they're building 9,000 ton warships when they don't even have houses to live in. The rest of this game is a simulation of acquiring new technology and establishing the infrastructure required to build it. So it's really asinine that they sweep all of that aside and have "barbarians" pull advanced hardware out of their asses.
Like Somalia, Cambodia, The Black Panthers, The Shining Path? If you replace the word "Barbarian" with "Terrorists", it suddenly becomes a lot more accurate, and a lot less funny.
 

crotalidian

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Sep 8, 2009
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Like Somalia, Cambodia, The Black Panthers, The Shining Path? If you replace the word "Barbarian" with "Terrorists", it suddenly becomes a lot more accurate, and a lot less funny.
Damn Ninjas.

yeah and they may not have houses but they have a pretty nifty black market...
 

DPunch4

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OH MY GOD! Wow this was the funniest one I've read in so long! I really really want to play Civ 5 so I can win at history too!!! City's on fire again?
 

2xDouble

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Well, Askia must have been drinking Powerthirst. It makes you win at everything forever, including running, football, arson, weddings, art, irony... and now HISTORY!
 

CD-R

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The Montezuma panel made me laugh.

The_root_of_all_evil said:
lockeslylcrit said:
I laughed hard at The Battle of LOLOLOLOL. Happens every time in my games.
That made me LOL as well.

Shamus Young said:
The gameworld spawns barbarians in unclaimed areas of the map. These guys roughly scale up in tech with everyone else. I understand why it does this from a gameplay perspective, but it looks ridiculous. Near the endgame you have these little wooden forts that churn out infantrymen with automatic weapons and modern battleships. The automatic weapons I can sort of understand, but I don't know how they're building 9,000 ton warships when they don't even have houses to live in. The rest of this game is a simulation of acquiring new technology and establishing the infrastructure required to build it. So it's really asinine that they sweep all of that aside and have "barbarians" pull advanced hardware out of their asses.
Like Somalia, Cambodia, The Black Panthers, The Shining Path? If you replace the word "Barbarian" with "Terrorists", it suddenly becomes a lot more accurate, and a lot less funny.
I never thought about it that way. That actually makes sense.
 

DTWolfwood

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Oct 20, 2009
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So like i decide to play random yesterday and manage to get Montezuma on the same Island. I have no idea what anyone meant when they said he was a Douchebag [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aL6wlTDPiPU&feature=player_embedded] But after about 3000 years, he had conquered 3/4 of the island leaving me with 2 cities...he then backstabbed me... at the same exact time. The last of the AI, Persians, are on the other island by himself had tech to early modern era while im still in the first half of the industrial era... WTF! >.<

this game is messed up! if i hadn't rolled with a tiny empire, Montezuma would have steamrolled me! yay for having a 5 hex front line versus a 20 hex front XD
 

Midnight Crossroads

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I kind of like how in Civ3 they updated the appearances of the leaders to reflect their era. It's always weird talking to some of the leaders in the modern age.
 

Ldude893

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I always view Emperor Askia and Montezuma as enemies. Really, they make a very bad first impression when you meet them.
 

bificommander

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Those barbarians are a nuisance. They don't scale up quite as fast as most civ's though, and on my archipello game they weren't actually trying to attack my HMS Kickass ships though (although they might as well have. Ranged attacks don't cause retaliation so it won't kill them untill it's my turn, and even if they'd been smart enough to just sail the other way, I played as english, had the Great Lighthouse, and the Naval tradition social policy. My destroyers could move about 4 times as far as those guys). They're still annoying though, since they cut you of from trade routes and sea resources untill you pulverise them.

About the terrorists-comparison though: Yes, those have machine guns like the barbarians but Shamus remarks how that makes sorta sense. But terrorists don't have a fully functional state of the art navy. Actually, I think the Somalian pirates have on occasion tried to attack warships (probably by mistake). That went... pretty much like Shamus shows here.

And yeah, the fact that Bismark and Washington wear suits in 2000 BC, and the Aztec still wears a tribal suit at the end of the game is kinda silly.

I was actually hoping Shamus would do a short Shamus-plays with this game. Sure, he normally does MMO's but you could tell the story of your leader through the ages. But I guess he did something like it now, which is nice, and he probably won't do a whole new story on it, which is a shame. I wonder what (if?) we'll get another series. I already read all the Champion online stuff. He seemed pretty entausiastic about Guild Wars 2, but that won't be out for some time.... We'll see.
 

WaderiAAA

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Aug 11, 2009
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Wow, imagine if someone invented a time machine and made the Mozart-Presley concert possible! Or a concert with Beethoven and Michael Jackson.
 

Jenx

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Dude, a Motzart/Presley concert? That really WOULD bring on a golden age. It would also cure all kinds of cancer and probably also bring back the dinosaurs, because they were too awesome to just stay dead.