Stay Abreast of This Titillating Indie Fighting Game

[John Funk]

Stay Abreast of This Titillating Indie Fighting Game

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Warriors of Elysia, the sequel to 2002's Bikini Karate Babes, is probably the most gratuitous fighting game you will see in 2010.

In 2002, Creative Edge Studios made Bikini Karate Babes, a tongue-in-cheek fighter that poked fun at modern fighting game conventions seen in games like Soul Calibur and Dead or Alive: Fully clothed guys and girls fighting in lingerie.

Now here we have the trailer for Warriors of Elysia, and it's ... I'm sorry, I don't even know. I have no idea how to describe this game. It's digitized sprites a la early Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game, and everything about it is ridiculous.

Though it says something about me that the thing I find most objectionable about this is that there is a character named Venus and one named Aphrodite. Clearly, Creative Edge doesn't know its Greco-Roman mythology.

You can preorder Warriors of Elysia for £14.95 on Direct2Drive [http://www.direct2drive.co.uk/2/10182/product/Buy-Warriors-of-Elysia-Download?hph]), but why would you want to? You'd be online by definition, and it's not like you can't find boobs elsewhere online.

(Via RPS [http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2010/12/16/warriors-of-elysia-pre-order-now-available/])

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[JediMB]

That's so terribly unsexy that I couldn't even bring myself to finish watching the trailer.

 

[Kris015]

Why must developers keep making games like this?!

 

[olfelix]

What is this? I don't even...

to think someone put time into this makes me weep. Not for them... but for what little respect they have for time itself.

 

[Loonerinoes]

I guess it'll sell well-enough.

As for me, it certainly isn't 'MOAR' but...wouldn't go "DO NOT WANT" for it either. So it's awwwwwwwright!

 

[RheynbowDash]

I'm gonna buy this. Not for the game, not for the boobs, but for the sheer fact that this might have been the most awful thing made, ever.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

Mister Funk, I hereby sentence you to twelve months writing about developments in the Bratz toyline for the awful, awful puns you made in this title.

This game looks terrible. And not just in that 'really bad' way, but in that 'this thing surpasses parody and comes all the way around to bad again' way.

It's like Meet the Spartans or Epic Movie, something so truly hideous that's it's not even retro funny. Still, I suppose congrtulations must go to the team for putting any effort into this, and it still looks funny, which is something I guess.

 

[Firetaffer]

This game looks like something from 1998. Seriously the live-action women who awkwardly kick and punch .

 

[Metzeten]

I didn't know Glen Quagmire was a real person and made videogames....

He looks so cartoony in family guy...

 

[Citrus]

It's a game based entirely around sex appeal, but it doesn't have any. Truly awful.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

It's like Dead or Alive, but without any male characters!

And likely lacking any solid fighting mechanics!

 

[SamsaStanfield]

The live-action footage was slightly hot, but this doesn't do anything for me.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Screw it, I couldn't bring myself to watch the entire trailer, it was that awful of a game.

 

[ryai458]

Where did they find women to do something that stupid?

 

[binvjoh]

My GOTY for sure.

 

[Catalyst6]

We need to break into whatever basement that this was made in and destroy it.

Not intentionally, of course. We would never intentionally kill the *ahem* "creativity" of someone. Data simply tends to get mixed up when you put the entire hard drive through cleansing flames.

 

[Aggressor and Usurper]

Ugh, those puns. Funk, you boob. [sub][sub]trollface.jpg[/sub][/sub]

I will have to play this at some point, just to see if it's as shit as the trailer suggests.

 

[Mydnyght]

Where did they find women to do something that stupid?

Yeah, I know. About 3/4 into the trailer, I was wondering, what do these women's PARENTS think about this!?

 

[Imp Poster]

haha, I actually liked the John's puns more than the game. As a matter of fact, here is mine:

Float like a mammary, sting like a mammary's milk in the eye in this boobiful fighting game.