NATO, Taliban Go To War On Twitter

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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NATO, Taliban Go To War On Twitter


The forces of NATO and the Taliban have taken their war to the digital battleground of Twitter.

NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-backed Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.

After the attack was put down, the Twitter account belonging to the International Security Assistance Force Afghanistan, which normally restricts itself to straight-up info dumps on the Afghan situation, posted a response to comments about the attack from a Taliban spokesman. "Re: Taliban spox on #Kabul attack: the outcome is inevitable," @ISAFmedia [https://twitter.com/#!/ISAFmedia] wrote. "Question is how much longer will terrorist put innocent Afghans in harm's way?"

That put a bee in the Taliban's bonnet, which responded through the @ABalkhi [https://twitter.com/#!/ABalkhi] account, "@ISAFmedia i dnt knw.u hve bn pttng thm n 'harm's way' fr da pst 10 yrs.Razd whole vllgs n mrkts.n stil hv da nrve to tlk bout 'harm's way'"

"Really, @abalkhi?" @ISAFmedia replied. "Unama reported 80% of civilians causalities are caused by insurgent (your) activities http://goo.gl/FylwU [http://goo.gl/FylwU]" @ABalkhi, however, questioned the validity of the numbers, pointing out that they came from ISAF's parent body at the United Nations. "@ISAFmedia Unama is an entity of whom? mine or yours?" it asked.

Things went quiet for awhile, although @ABalkhi fired off a quick "http://goo.gl/9XpYn [https://twitter.com/#!/ABalkhi/status/113846810417709057] #Kabulattacks #ISAF #COMISAF"

via: The Guardian [http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/sep/14/taliban-nato-isaf-twitter]


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-Samurai-

New member
Oct 8, 2009
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I probably laughed at this much harder than I should have.

I'm just waiting for one side to tell the other to stop trolling.
 

KeyMaster45

Gone Gonzo
Jun 16, 2008
2,846
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It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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KeyMaster45 said:
It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.
Gods no! Knowing how the internet works, they'd be cybering with each other by the end of the first evening and we'd have Taliban Furries yiffing all over Afganistan by the end of the month...
 

Corporal Yakob

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Nov 28, 2009
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Jandau said:
KeyMaster45 said:
It's finally happened, war has entered the theater of an internet flame fest. Now if we could just get these two parties into an irc chat, I bet we'd really see some good drama.
Gods no! Knowing how the internet works, they'd be cybering with each other by the end of the first evening and we'd have Taliban Furries yiffing all over Afganistan by the end of the month...
At this rate its going to be very hard to write a serious military book detailing the conflicts of this time when the words "Taliban", "Furries" and "Yiff" can all be used in the same sentence!
 

Owen Robertson

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Jul 26, 2011
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Holy fuckballs that's sad. Well we can spare a lot of innocent lives by simply boiling war down to its most basic form: name calling. And when we can do it in complete anonymity the venom spewed gets a lot more racist and entertaining to read. I'm all for it. Next up: Ireland vs. U.K.

Ireland: "Hahaha. You suck. We're free to be catholic, you pathetic wankers."
U.K.: "Right. Fuck off mate, before we come back there and show you potato-eating twats who ran the world for 4 bloody centuries!"

Etc... (BTW I chose this as an example because I find it amusing. I don't believe that some-sort of war is brewing. It's satire.)
 

Rawne1980

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Jul 29, 2011
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"@ISAFmedia i dnt knw.u hve bn pttng thm n 'harm's way' fr da pst 10 yrs.Razd whole vllgs n mrkts.n stil hv da nrve to tlk bout 'harm's way'"
Do you think the real Taliban guy was on the toilet and forgot to log out while his 5 year old son thought it would be funny to leave a message.

In all honesty, if thats someone trying to be serious on the Talibans side then it makes me want to go back to the army, fly back out there and beat them all with a fething dictionary.

Next week on messages from the Taliban "ur all teh n00bz, FEAH MAH POWAH". So says the Taliban.
 

Xersues

DRM-free or give me death!
Dec 11, 2009
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Andy Chalk said:
NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-baked Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.
Major lol at NATO-Baked. I have tears forming that's how hard I laughed.

Seriously, fighting it out on twitter?

 

Sonic Doctor

Time Lord / Whack-A-Newbie!
Jan 9, 2010
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This is hilarious. What a bizarre age we live in. Pretty soon will NATO and The Taliban will be going back and forth say "No rly", "Ya rly"


Andy Chalk said:
NATO and the Taliban have been warring over Afghanistan for a decade but yesterday, following an attack in the capital of Kabul that was defeated by NATO-baked Afghan security forces after a 20-hour battle, the conflict shifted to a very different theater: the 140-character STFU fields of Twitter.
Highlighted a small error, shouldn't it be "backed".

Unless the Taliban were defeated by Afghan security forces that were a little high.
 

Sonic Doctor

Time Lord / Whack-A-Newbie!
Jan 9, 2010
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Xersues said:
Nuts, you just ninja'd me.

At least I got to throw in a small weed joke.

But yeah, fighting over twitter just seems almost unbelievable.
 

Sparrow

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Feb 22, 2009
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I'm loving the fact that an actual terrorist said "lol". Oh God, the same jerks that kick the shit out of me online are terrorists in the making? IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE.
 

Speakercone

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May 21, 2010
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I normally don't approve of trolling, but if we're trolling the taliban, then I not only approve, I'd encourage it.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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Seriously, how childish can they get?, instead of slinging rockets and insults at each other they should settle this war once and for all, like real men. Quake 3 deathmatch.