Scientists Find "95 Percent Proof Of The Existence Of Yeti"

Earnest Cavalli

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Jun 19, 2008
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Scientists Find "95 Percent Proof Of The Existence Of Yeti"



Yeti, sasquatch, Todd; whatever you want to call it, it's real. At least, according to a group of scientists.

The group, composed of researchers from Russia and the United States, met in Siberia recently with the express purpose of finding evidence of the elusive, shaggy beast. Fueled by the spirit of glasnost, the group set off into the wilds of the Kemerovo region, an area known for intense snowfall, foreboding trees and apparently, mythological creatures.

Less than a week later, the team published findings on the 'net claiming they had found "irrefutable evidence" of the yeti's existence. These include "footprints, a probable den and various markers that Yetis mark their territory with." The hair samples are awaiting further study to determine their origin, but the scientists claim that their findings "gave them 95-percent proof of the existence of Yeti in the Kemerovo region."

Not everyone is as convinced however. Loren Coleman, director of the International Cryptozoology Museum, for instance.

"This does not seem to be any more than what you hear about from weekend excursions in North America that go out, discovering some hair of undetermined origin, calling it 'Bigfoot hair,' then locating some broken branches and piled trees, saying it was made by Bigfoot, and finding footprints that look like Sasquatch tracks," Coleman told the Huffington Post.

"These are not 'proof' that would hold up, zoologically."

If Coleman -- a man whose career literally depends on the theoretical existence of creatures like this -- is non-plussed by the team's findings, then what could possibly be the motivation for this apparently outrageous claim? If you guessed "cash money," you get a gold star.

As the Huffington Post points out the Kemerovo region has very little going for it. In sum, it's a ton of inhospitable mountains with annual temperatures averaging between -5 degrees Celsius in the warmer months and a snout-freezingly cold -25 degrees Celsius in the winter. The one thing these hearty Siberians have though, is a rich tradition of yeti mythology. It's a (relatively) big tourist destination for this reason alone.

In sum, this may not be the airtight evidence of wooly bipedal apes cryptozoology geeks might've been hoping for, but it should boost revenues in the Siberian hills.

In related news, Vladimir Lenin's corpse is frowning.

Source: Huffington Post [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/10/10/scientists-found-siberian-yeti_n_1003639.html#s388533]

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martin's a madman

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Aug 20, 2008
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Their observations are going to be hurt by pathology. Everything they see is going to be proof of big-foot's existence because they desperately want it to exist.
 

Beautiful End

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Feb 15, 2011
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Todd...?

Anyway, there's a reason why we haven't found a Yeti, the Loch Monsters and so on: they don't exist. There's a reason why we can proof dinosaurs existed as opposed to mythological creatures like these. Think about it, scientists. Unless we can see the actual thing with our own eyes, then it's not valid. Or in simpler terms: Pic or it never happened.

I know they're the experts and I'm just the person behind the confines of a computer, but...their findings seem dumb. A footprint? A den? Hair?! That could be a million things!

You know what could be more interesting? If they found a werewolf. Then we could harness the were-gene (?) and be able to use it! :D
 

DeadlyYellow

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While I won't deny the possibility of existence, I won't really believe until they bring back a true corpse.
 

Adam Jensen_v1legacy

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Sep 8, 2011
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Irrefutable evidence would be actually seeing and the Yeti and showing him to everyone. Footprints aren't enough. How many people tried that in the past and it always turned out to be fake.
 

-Dragmire-

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Mar 29, 2011
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Meh, they walked around in circles wearing snowshoes and found suspicious tracks. I'm always interested in the discovery of new animals but this is not something I hold much/any hope in being real.

Also, -25 degrees Celsius doesn't seem so bad. It gets around -30 to -35 with the wind chill lowering it to -40 to -55 at times in winter where I live.
 

NoOne852

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Sep 12, 2011
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If they were real, then my question is what possible food source do they have?
 

KeyMaster45

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Jun 16, 2008
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Didn't they finally toss Lenin's hermetically sealed ass in a grave several years back? If so I wish to know how you've come by the knowledge said face attached to said ass is frowning, good sir.

OT: While it's nice to think we've still got some modern day myths we haven't cracked, Big Foot, Yeti, and the Abominable Snowman have long since been proven bunk. Though evidence seems to be mounting for the Chupacabra as some fugly cousin of your common coyote.
 

N_of_the_dead

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Apr 2, 2008
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Oh God they found you Todd run!! RUN BEFORE THEY GET YOU TODD...WHY ARE YOU READING THIS TODD RUN!!!!!!!!

OT So in one week they found proof of the Kraken and the Yeti? Whats next are we gonna find some Kappa in Tokyo's sewers? Really though how does someone do this for a living? Ten bucks says its some hairy dude's man cave.
 

Ragsnstitches

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TheRightToArmBears said:
Heh. I'll believe it when I see it. I'm not convinced at all yet.
I'm ashamed to say that I read your last part as "... not convinced at all yeti."
 

Neverhoodian

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Apr 2, 2008
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Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

If Yetis were real, then why hasn't there ever been a single recorded incident of a hunter bagging one? Seriously, humans have been hunting in some form or other for thousands upon thousands of years. With that much time, wouldn't it be reasonable to suspect that there would be a few Yeti skin rugs and Yeti heads mounted in someone's trophy room somewhere?
 

emeraldrafael

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Jul 17, 2010
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I thought being a scientist meant you had to have absolute certainty, or as close to it as possible? doesnt 95% seem... low, to be sure of somethings existence?
 

RanD00M

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Oct 26, 2008
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"Bring me big foots droppings."
"I can bring you the dropping of someone who saw big foot."
"Not good enough."
P.F. is right on that one.