Development Begins on Asteroids Movie

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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Development Begins on Asteroids Movie


Good news, cinemaphiles! The wait is almost over! Asteroids! [http://www.universalpictures.com/]

Yes, I'm talking about Asteroids, the famous arcade stand-up in which players control a triangular spaceship battling hordes of rampaging space rocks in fully-rendered 2-D. The ship not only rotates and fires but can also actually move forward, allowing particularly skilled players to relocate the vessel to other, less asteroid-filled parts of the screen. The asteroids themselves are complex adversaries that break down into increasingly smaller components each time they're shot, until they finally dissipate into nothingness in the cold, empty void of space.

Universal actually had to struggle through a bidding war with three other studios to pick up the rights to develop the film, according to the Race to Witch Mountain [http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3ic3a4730761c7eaf6aac2de4e28ef8e67].

Concerns that the Asteroids back-story might be a little too thin to support a full-length feature film are perhaps valid but this won't be the first tough project Universal has tackled: The studio is also in the process of creating movies based on other classic game properties including Gary Busey [http://www.hasbro.com/shop/details.cfm?guid=8EFB4F1C-6D40-1014-8BF0-9EFBF894F9D4&product_id=9388&src=endeca] has been cast as the flying saucer could not be confirmed by press time.



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Anachronism

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Apr 9, 2009
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Please, God, let this be a joke.

In other news: the Tetris movie has just been announced!
 

microhive

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Mar 27, 2009
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What will they do next? Tic Tac Toe live action movie? Or a dramatic romance between two objects in Tetris?
 

AmrasCalmacil

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Jul 19, 2008
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"Sir, there's something on the radar."
"Asteroids, I should have suspected that those no good rocks would try to ambush us here... In an asteroid belt."
"Should we go around it, sir?"
"No! We must stand and fight!"

If it's like that, I'm totally going to see it.
Maybe there'll be a dramatic scene where the Asteroids overpower the USS Octogon while the crew of the Triangle watch helpless.
 

majeh13

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Jul 23, 2008
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Well turns out the asteroids are actually a super-intelligent breed of rock created by the United Federation of Madeuptopia. The asteroids (or Asteroids as they call themselves) will stop at nothing to float at things menacingly in hopes to someday rid the Universe of tiny one-man spaceships powered by quarters.
 

Get Jiggy

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Apr 14, 2009
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AmrasCalmacil said:
"Sir, there's something on the radar."
"Asteroids, I should have suspected that those no good rocks would try to ambush us here... In an asteroid belt."
"Should we go around it, sir?"
"No! We must stand and fight!"

If it's like that, I'm totally going to see it.
Maybe there'll be a dramatic scene where the Asteroids overpower the USS Octogon while the crew of the Triangle watch helpless.
They need to bring you in to help write the script, nothing that they can come up with could ever match this.
 

microhive

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Mar 27, 2009
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AmrasCalmacil said:
"Sir, there's something on the radar."
"Asteroids, I should have suspected that those no good rocks would try to ambush us here... In an asteroid belt."
"Should we go around it, sir?"
"No! We must stand and fight!"

If it's like that, I'm totally going to see it.
Maybe there'll be a dramatic scene where the Asteroids overpower the USS Octogon while the crew of the Triangle watch helpless.
Wow... That's actually interesting. I would really like to watch a film like that.
 

Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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Hasn't this movie already been made? Wasn't Armageddon about breaking apart asteroids?
 

oliveira8

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Feb 2, 2009
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AmrasCalmacil said:
"Sir, there's something on the radar."
"Asteroids, I should have suspected that those no good rocks would try to ambush us here... In an asteroid belt."
"Should we go around it, sir?"
"No! We must stand and fight!"
That sounds like a dialog betewen Captain Zapp Brannigan and Lieutenant Kif Kroker...
 

The Great JT

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Oct 6, 2008
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/headdesk

How in God's name does this work?! And who's directing this mutant abberation of cinematography? 'Cause dimes to dollars it's either Brett Ratner (who said he'd like to do a Guitar Hero movie, another movie which WOULDN'T WORK) or Uwe Boll(sack).
 

whaleswiththumbs

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Feb 13, 2009
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NoMoreSanity said:
Universal:Set to wreck Childhood memories since 1886!
Actually they were Champion Studios back then.

I had completely no idea Asteroids had any sort of story, I thought it as complex as here are some asteroids, they hurt you, also heres a space gun.(It actually took me til 03 to find out you could move the ship.
 

HobbesMkii

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Jun 7, 2008
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Well, at least unlike previous videogame adaptations, this game actually doesn't have a plot to adapt, so it's not like the movie will have the same juvenile plotline as the game.

On NPR they did an interview with an exec from Hasbro, which is the company that makes all these games and toys that are being turned into movies (yah, that's right. Remember how Transformers and G.I. Joe were just clever ways to create back story for our toy collection, and in turn, make us want to buy those toys even more, so we could personally own the ones we identified with? Well, they're doing it again, except this time, they want live action movies), and this exec was all cheerful about how they were doing big things, and how they'd had to go and make toys that looked like the Transformers in the movie (how they managed to create a toy that could pull off action sequences consisting primarily of jump-cuts, I'll never know).

And then he trotted out this surprising little tidbit of information. RIDLEY SCOTT is working on the Monopoly movie. Yes, that's right, they're turning Monopoly into a movie, and Ridley Scott (who's the good Scott brother, the one who made Bladerunner, not Tony Scott, who's a good filmmaker if you average the results: he made Days of Thunder at his worst). I mean, getting Michael Bay to work on Transformers, yah, I could see that. But getting Ridley-Here's-Another-Cult-Film-Classic-Scott to work on Monopoly? Cripes. Nothing can stop Hasbro.
 

Dr Ampersand

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Jun 27, 2009
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Chekov of Star Trek should be in this movie.

Asses in space, the South Park parody would make a good spoof of this movie.
 

Internet Kraken

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Mar 18, 2009
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The struggle of humanity continues.......IN SPACE!!!!!!!

Watch as the fearless crew of the Triangle set out to protect Earth from the merciless space rocks. A tale of drama and action (in space), this summer don't miss your chance to experience the thrill of ASTEROIDS!!!!!!!!!!!

Rated PG-13