Molyneux Yields Curiosity Name to Martian Robot

Mike Kayatta

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Aug 2, 2011
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Molyneux Yields Curiosity Name to Martian Robot



Googlers have buried Molyneux's Cube under a heaping mound of Mars.

When NASA's crazy laser-wielding space robot Michael-Bayed onto Mars a few weeks back, people got pretty excited. And it's hard to blame them; stories of the metal astronaut's voyage were the stuff of legend before the thing even launched, what with it's hyper-precise space crane landing, and supersonic parachute. It seems the only person perhaps not quite as thrilled as the rest of us was poor Peter Molyneux, whose newest game just so happens to share a name with Earth's (and Mars') newest hero: Curiosity.

Now, that's not entirely fair to Molyneux, who I'm sure loves Curiosity the Robot just as much as the next guy, but the fact remains that with so much hubbub surrounding that soulless little $2.5 billion photographer, Google search results for his game just can't compete. So without Google on his side, Molyneux has decided to abandon calling the game now formerly known as Curiosity Curiosity at all.

"The name change is prompted by the need to have something simple to search for in Google," Molyneux explained. "This worked well for Curiosity but since NASA: Curiosity is now obviously generating a lot of interest we need to change the name."

For those unfamiliar, Molyneux's game involved a large number players hacking away at the outside of a cube, hoping to deliver the last blow, purportedly the only blow that will reveal whatever it is that Molyneux is hiding in there. In that sense, Curiosity was an extremely apt, if not a nearly perfect name for the experience.

In the wake of NASA's secret conspiracy to keep us from seeing what's in the Cube (it's proof of the fake 1969 moon landing, I'm tellin' ya!), Molyneux has taken to Twitter to find a new moniker for his newly-founded company, 22 Cans', flagship title. If you want to contribute your own great idea, feel free to Tweet your heart out to [at]22cans.

Source: Modojo [http://www.modojo.com/news/curiosity_experiment_seeking_a_new_name/]

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Ruedyn

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Jun 29, 2011
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Do we know what's in that stupid fucking box yet?

I'm guessing it's a picture of his dick, but it could be something else.

Oh yeah, the topic, ummm... what a coincidence?
 

Dogstile

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Jan 17, 2009
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What's the scientific name for a reaction that increases in speed as it gets closer and closer to the end of said reaction? It should totally be called that.
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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Well, my first thought is that Peter got the answer he was looking for. As I understood things his "Curiousity" was an experiment to see how far curiousity could go towards getting people to shell out money for picks. He shouted it from the rooftops of gaming for a while, we the geeks heard of it before the landing of the real life "Wall-E". Apparently curiousity wasn't enough to sustain interest in his project.

IMO if he changes the name and tries to generate more hype at this point to compete with this, that's pretty much the end of any integrity he claimed. For the experiment to have any validity, failure must be an option, such as something coming along that makes people more curious than the curiousity your providing.

As far as what's in the cube goes, the promise that it's something "life changing" is also kind of a put off I'd imagine, since that can be bad as well as good, sort of like the classic "You'll get everything you deserve" or "You'll get what's coming to you". It could be anything from a picture of trollface with the message "thanks for the $$$", to a picture of Peter's junk (as someone suggested), to a collage that makes Encyclopedia Dramatica's "Offended" page look like a "My Little Golden Book". Granted it could be something really great like a pile of money, the deed for a house, or whatever else that would change someone's life in a positive way, but the odds run more along the lines of some truely soul crushing Rule 34 since I figure anything potentially in there is limited by Peter's budget and desire to make a profit off of this, which means a positive life changing experience seems unlikely.

Of course to be fair (all jokes aside) I'm sure it's nothing terrible in the cube, just something fairly trivial that Peter is hyping up in his usual way. Any way it goes, the bottom line I think we've gotten the answer that was allegedly being sought.
 

Grimh

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Feb 11, 2009
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You win again martians NASA.

I propose the new name to be CubEnigma.

You can have that one for free Peter.
 

McMullen

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Mar 9, 2010
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Just think, if this story had involved Bethesda we'd be seeing the opening rounds of another trademark lawsuit.
 

SlamDunc

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I bet inside the cube is just a message that nobody will believe you if you claim to have seen it. Like that story about Bill Murray taking food of someone's plate at a restaurant and saying nobody would believe them.
 

Formica Archonis

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Nov 13, 2009
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Mike Kayatta said:
In the wake of NASA's secret conspiracy to keep us from seeing what's in the Cube (it's proof of the fake 1969 moon landing, I'm tellin' ya!), Molyneux has taken to Twitter to find a new moniker for his newly-founded company, 22 Cans', flagship title. If you want to contribute your own great idea, feel free to Tweet your heart out to [at]22cans.
I was going to, but "attempting to resuscitate a lame idea by blaming its problems on an unrelated yet entirely foreseeable consequence of a third party's actions" is 141 characters.
 

Quaidis

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Jun 1, 2008
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I read this horribly wrong. I thought it was talking about how Peter Molyneux paid NASA to send a cube of his up into space to be buried on Martian soul. Why was beyond me. Maybe to forever put his name in history or as some crazy stunt for his new game?

Then I read what was actually going on and found the topic to be far more lame. Why no Cube of Molyneux on Mars?
 

The Random One

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May 29, 2008
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Quaidis said:
I read this horribly wrong. I thought it was talking about how Peter Molyneux paid NASA to send a cube of his up into space to be buried on Martian soul. Why was beyond me. Maybe to forever put his name in history or as some crazy stunt for his new game?
Now that's just silly. We're talking about Peter Molyneux here, not Richard Garriot.
 

PureIrony

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Aug 12, 2010
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I'd call the game "Insipid" or perhaps even "Asinine". In fact, I'll even name other things about it; the gameplay can be called "Ridiculous" and all the players can be called "insulting to our fucking collective intelligence".

Oh, and I'd recommend you put your middle finger inside the box, but that'd just be redundant, wouldn't it?
 

Denamic

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Aug 19, 2009
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So it needs a new name.
Cube: Modern Cubicide 7: The Discovery 2 HD
Might need more titles to fit in with current gen AAA games.
 

Bernzz

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Obvious Attempt At Money Making.

It can even have a subtitle. The Hypening.

Do I win?
 

RaNDM G

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Apr 28, 2009
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I think we all know how Molyneux's game will end.