254: The OCD Gamer

Michael Comeau

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Jul 27, 2009
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The OCD Gamer

All gamers have a desire to play videogames, but, for someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder, that desire becomes need. Michael Comeau relates how he discovered that his gaming was just another symptom of his OCD.

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AnarchistAbe

The Original RageQuit Rebel
Sep 10, 2009
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As an OCD gamer (not to the degree you described, though), I appreciate articles like this. I do find myself playing sometimes, even when I don't want to, out of habit. Its just something we have to recognize, and deal with.
 

JEBWrench

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Apr 23, 2009
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Congratulations on taking the step into getting your disorder managed. (I won't say cured, because the word "cured" can be as wildly divisive as the phrase Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder itself.)
 
May 1, 2010
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I can more than relate here.

I "suffer" from Asperger's Syndrome, for which I'll leave a brief excerpt of the relevant part here:

"People with Asperger syndrome often display behavior, interests, and activities that are restricted and repetitive and are sometimes abnormally intense or focused. They may stick to inflexible routines, move in stereotyped and repetitive ways, or preoccupy themselves with parts of objects.[19]"

The above passage describes pretty accurately my gaming habits - as a short outline my games have to be in alphabetical order (and other media, but anything without a label I don't care about), I have to complete games (which is why the invention of achievements, a laughable term in itself, was both the best and worst thing to ever happen for my gaming career) and would be capable of extended stints on games that bored the hell out of me.

Which is why my preferred genre is/was the RPG.

I'll use one game as an example: Final Fantasy VIII. It was unpopular in the series so I made it my main game, to be an outrunner and not conform (I realise now).

I've easily completed the game plus 20 times, each time to the best of its ability - maximum of every item, perfect stats (even to the extent of killing 666 enemies with Seifer just so the later obtained battle meter would state that number, as I felt it apt to mirror his personality) and could recite to you parts of the script if you gave me a trigger point.

Was this fun? Hell no, but the idea of it was enjoyable. I had an obsession with lists, writing and re-writing things to do, things I wanted and things that really didn't matter. These things weren't fun either, but the idea of them was.

Where I'm trying to get to, is where I used to be pretty extreme (I have since stabilised and barely play games thanks to seeking professional advice turning me into a much more rounded individual) I see echoes of my behaviours in the gaming populace.

People constantly complain how poor Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is, yet religiously play it. Condemn games before they've even arrived (Left 4 Dead 2) and are first in line to buy them.

Not enjoying the games, but merely enjoying the idea of them. Feelings misplaced by the security of habit. If people were to take an inside look maybe they'd see something completely different to what they expected.

Ever since I did I've conquered a lot of barriers, and whilst games have helped me through some very troubled patches, they also put a ceiling on my progression. The general impression of which I got from this article.
 

Ossian

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Mar 11, 2010
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I don't have OCD like the article stated, but I do have obsessive tendencies. Over Analytical thinking and Disappear into gaming for hours on end. I talk to people not like a shy person, but I consider myself shy because I can't easily approach anyone and start a conversation, and while I am talking to them I'm going through a whirlwind of anxiety.

I definitely get the thing about video games have order and make sense compared to reality. I realized this myself only a few months ago.
 

RowdyRodimus

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Apr 24, 2010
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After my stroke, I started getting symptoms of OCD to a degree and the neurologist told me that some people do become obsessive compulsive after one because of the way the brain is trying to relearn on a different lobe in a way. I would freak out if their was the tiniest thing on my floor or a piece of dust on a piece of furniture. When I got to where I could play games again, it hit my gaming in that if a game wasn't in it's alphabetical position on the shelf I couldn't play it until I had rearranged them all. It seemed crazy but that was what I had to do. The doctor put me on an anti-depressant and something else and it seems to have worked.

It might not be exactly the same thing, but I can at least relate to what you went/are going through.
 

Clemenstation

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Dec 9, 2008
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Interesting. Many people consider rabid completionism (get every treasure box, 100% progress, etc) to be the most marked trait of an OCD gamer, but this is a bit of a different story.
 

ultimateownage

This name was cool in 2008.
Feb 11, 2009
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Teddy KGB said:
WoW good for Obstructive-Convulsive Disorder people.
You do realise OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder right?
O.T. I don't actually have OCD, but I have gaming OCD, which involves obsessive reloading and making everything I build in games and make them symmetrical.
 

ccesarano

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Oct 3, 2007
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Michael Comeau said:
My five-year college career was a complete blur. And no, I don't have a Master's degree.
Don't worry. Had a six-year College Career and all I have to show for it is a Bachelor's degree.


As for the topic, refreshing to hear this sort of thing from someone that actually suffers the symptom. I sometimes wonder why people so easily want to claim themselves as OCD or ADD. I've noticed the former is usually more meant light-hearted than the latter, as in not really diagnosing yourself but just saying you have a neat personality. Still, speaking with people I've learned no one actually understands what these behaviors are really doing.

Your description of anxiety is a great way to put it. It isn't that it annoys you that something isn't a certain way, it's that you get an actual panic attack. With ADD, it isn't that you are bored easily. Plenty of that is just discipline and focus. It's a lack of control, feeling an inexplicable impulse and just spontaneously going with it. Just because you get bored watching TV doesn't mean you have ADD. If you are watching TV and suddenly have the impulse to get up, run over to the couch and try to vault over it without knowing where the idea came from, that's....well, it's a more bad ass variation of ADD, but that's pretty much it. Inexplicable impulses that, when asked "why" you can't really explain.
 

Pandora92

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Apr 2, 2010
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I'm surprised that your OCD didn't actually effect your gaming habits when you were younger, I was diagnosed with mild OCD at a young age and I've been a big gamer since around the age of 10, and the only games I can really "play" are action games without much depth to them like Counter-Strike, if I play something like an RPG I will freak out trying to get 100% of everything, which is sadly not possible in a lot of modern RPGs, and I'll end up playing it long past any enjoyment just for the sake of having nothing left to do (I guess that's why I became so obsessed with MMORPGs at one point), and I HATE making any sort of choices, which RPGs are encouraging more and more.

The same issue comes across even more with RTS games, I don't play them often for this very reason but when I do I tend to just sit in my initial position for hours on end just building the same units over and over without ever actually doing anything, and eventually the enemy AI attacks and overwhelms me.

I actually threw my copy of Dragon Age at the wall so hard the disc cracked in half when I discovered you couldn't have all your relationships at 100% at the same time (your romance options get jealous and disapprove, which made me feel like shit IRL).

Excellent article anyway, I feel your pain, and well done on seeking help and getting your problems back under control.
 

Goremocker

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May 20, 2009
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Hmm...what an odd story,I've never heard of such gaming habits before.It's also odd to see how many people in the comments state that they also have stories of mental illness.OT:good to see that you are recovering and the best of luck to you.
 

elldur

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Mar 19, 2009
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Very interesting article. Sheds some light on this condition that most parents miss or mistake.
 

Tharwen

Ep. VI: Return of the turret
May 7, 2009
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I match the first page of that article and small sections of the last two pages. I feel like I should be worried.
 

Space Jawa

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Feb 2, 2010
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You have my sympathies, sir. Though I fortunately haven't experienced the compulsions that you have, I do have certain things I just have to do when I play games. Like the other day, when I was playing Spore (putting aside the fact I had just started playing it only a day or so previous and COULD NOT STOP!), I was unable to ever put up just 1 turret at any colony. I have to set them up in nice 2 multiple patterns or just not use them. Similar stuff happens when I play regular RTS and stuff.
 

wonkify

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Oct 2, 2009
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Bless you, mate. Here's wishing you great success on regaining your joy in gaming and all other areas of your life. Keep up the hard work you are doing, life improving work spills over into every other area and is always worth the doing.