White House Rejects Death Star Petition

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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White House Rejects Death Star Petition


The U.S. government says this isn't the petition response you're looking for.

Back in December, an enterprising individual launched an official petition to the White House calling on it to "secure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016." The massive effort to build the "space superiority platform and weapon system," the petition said, would "spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration and more," and of course give us a Death Star, which I think we can all agree is a pretty cool benefit in and of itself.

The Death Star petition notched up over 34,000 signatures in 30 days, which under the official "terms of participation [https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/how-why/terms-participation]" meant that an official response must be given. The good news is that the response has finally been delivered, but the bad news is that "a Death Star isn't on the horizon."

Among the reasons for rejecting the petition are the cost - an estimated $850,000,000,000,000,000 - as well as one or two inherent design flaws and an Administration policy against blowing up planets. The White House also pointed out that we already have the International Space Station floating above the planet, plus two rovers on Mars and, even though they can't do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, a pair of spacecraft about to venture beyond the boundaries of the solar system.

"We are living in the future! Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field. The President has held the first-ever White House science fairs and Astronomy Night on the South Lawn because he knows these domains are critical to our country's future, and to ensuring the United States continues leading the world in doing big things," Paul Shawcross, chief of the White House Science and Space Branch, wrote. "If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."

I'm not sure I agree - hokey religions are no match for an ultimate weapon in orbit, after all - but I like the response. And hey, if we can't bring the galaxy to its knees before our Imperial might, I suppose studying it isn't a terrible second choice.

Source: The White House [https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/response/isnt-petition-response-youre-looking]


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PunkRex

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Feb 19, 2010
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£5 says the Chinese have already started making theirs except theirs will be red so it shoots faster.
 

Mumorpuger

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Apr 8, 2009
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This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.
 

Quaxar

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Sep 21, 2009
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I agree, the Death Star hasn't proven to be a good investion.
Now a Stardestroyer on the other hand...
 

2fish

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Sep 10, 2008
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Mumorpuger said:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.
We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.


 

Elate

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Nov 21, 2010
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Mumorpuger said:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.
Perhaps it's just nice to know the people in charge aren't political robots and actually have a sense of humor? Maybe it's just because people take life far to seriously sometimes, hell they could have just replied with "No go away." Just because one silly petition goes through, doesn't suddenly make it so that EVARY PERTISHUN ERVAR is now going to be ridiculous or lose all meaning.
 

Dangit2019

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Aug 8, 2011
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I'm not sure which I like better: the White House going along with the joke, or treating it completely series (i.e. "your request for a 'Death Star' has been respectfully declined").
 

Yokillernick

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I think that this needs a Kickstarter. I don't suppose any of you have a couple of trillions just lying around do you?
 

roushutsu

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Andy Chalk said:
"If you do pursue a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field, the Force will be with us! Remember, the Death Star's power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force."
Props for being fun with the rejection. We need more people like that in this world.
 

J Tyran

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Dec 15, 2011
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Mumorpuger said:
and deport Piers Morgan.
Can't really blame you there, I mean if you do get the petition together and it succeeds in sending him home I am going to get one going here to try and send him right back.
 

Darth_Payn

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Aug 5, 2009
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marurder said:
Scars Unseen said:
Death Star petition: shot down.

Up Next: TARDIS petition.
No no Star Destroyers! They are cooler than a big fat Death Star anyways.
Whoa, now; why not start small(ish) with a petition for a ship like the Enterprise? And what's the status of the petition to replace the current legal system with Judges like Dredd?
 

DarkLordofPancakes

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Jan 15, 2013
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Are signing Petitions the new cool thing to do or something?

(After the Retake Mass Erect petition they seem to be the answer for everything)
 

Quazimofo

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Aug 30, 2010
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2fish said:
Mumorpuger said:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.
We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.


GW never really quantified exactly how big their stuff is supposed to be, and authors are all over the place in their size comparisons; some going for the super big like your picture, and some going for more reasonably sized (1-2km for the largest of the ships).

Of course, its most likely closer to that scale, but Eclipse-class super star destroyers are a good 8-10 km larger than the best estimate I can get for the Emperor-class size.

Therefore, we really need an Eclipse-class. Much more practical too, since we can use that to start colonizing stuff. The only downside is the luna-sized celestial object we would need to hallow out to get the materials.
 

twaddle

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Nov 17, 2009
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2fish said:
Mumorpuger said:
This is why we can't have nice things.

We have a means of getting our voices heard and get a direct response from the White House, and stupid crap like this is how we waste it. This is on level with the petitions for Texas to secede and deport Piers Morgan.
We can't even agree if all humans should have equal rights, I doubt we will ever agree on something unless it is very silly or about something that doesn't really matter.

Anyway I would rather we had an Emperor class battleship.
I like your idea but i'd rather someone build something a bit more plausible

Maybe we could have them someone's govt to build a Daedalus?

seems like it's within the the realm of possibility give the current state of out technology