Canadian Government Stands Firm Against Zombies

[Andy Chalk]

Canadian Government Stands Firm Against Zombies

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Canada's Minister of Foreign Affairs John Baird vowed in Parliament today that the country will never become a safe haven for walking dead.

Border security is no laughing matter. Neither are zombies. Luckily for all of us trapped up here in the frozen wastes of the north, the government of Canada is on the job.

Acknowledging the good work of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control in coming up with a strategy to handle a zombie outbreak [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/110183-Center-for-Disease-Control-Reveals-Zombie-Apocalypse-Plan], New Democratic Party MP Pat Martin demanded to know if the government of Canada had made any similar preparations.

"Zombies don't recognize borders," he told the Speaker of Parliament. "A zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic." Is Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird, he asked, working with his counterpart in the U.S. to ensure that "a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?"

Fortunately, Minister Baird assured the Speaker that the good people of Canada have nothing to fear. "I want to assure all Canadians that I am dead-icated to ensuring that this never happens," he said. "Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever!"

Political observers noted that this was the most useful exchange to come out of Question Period in months.

Source: Maclean's


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[Agow95]

For some reason I actually want a zombie outbreak now just so I can see what the hell the governments of the world would do. I just think they'll nuke everything into dust.

 

[Marter]

I continue to be so proud to be Canadian.

Thank goodness that "Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever." I did like, however, that he prefaced that by saying "under the leadership of this Prime Minister." Meaning it could still happen. Which is also awesome.

 

[Bostur]

It's not often politicians are able to make such categorical promises. If a zombie apocalypse does happen now we know where to place the blame.

I live in Europe but if we get any zombies over here, I will still blame the Canadian PM.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

For some reason I actually want a zombie outbreak now just so I can see what the hell the governments of the world would do. I just think they'll nuke everything into dust.

Canada doesn't have Nukes. We'd politely ask the Zombies to stay out.

 

[Albino Boo]

I continue to be so proud to be Canadian.

Thank goodness that "Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever." I did like, however, that he prefaced that by saying "under the leadership of this Prime Minister." Meaning it could still happen. Which is also awesome.

The question that springs to my mind is how can you tell the difference between a zombie outbreak and a group of Canadian MPs? Both zombies and Canadian MPs just shuffle about muttering the same word over and over again.

 

[teebeeohh]

do you guys remember when politicians used to have their picture taken holding babies or eating dinner in the living room with a normal family to seem close to the average citizen?
this is our version of that.

 

[Redd the Sock]

It's all just to keep the zombies from interfering with the invasion of Steve Harper (the prime minster) like pod person invasion planned.

 

[emeraldrafael]

For some reason I actually want a zombie outbreak now just so I can see what the hell the governments of the world would do. I just think they'll nuke everything into dust.

Well I dont know about Canada, but the <url=http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm>CDC apparently has a plan

I know this is a joke, but i didnt realize how good life is in canada that they can just present this like its real business.

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

I should be wary when reading Escapist news at work, seeing as I burst into a fit of giggling in the silent office of all of my supervisors...

Glad to see a neighboring country's government planning much like ours has. Gotta stand firmly beside one another in times of crisis. I wonder how long it'll be before Mexico releases their zombie plans to the global public.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Is this an analogy for immigration or gun control?

 

[holographicman]

Canada's congress sure looks a lot funner then the one here in the US...

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

To make an actual serious point. If a country has so few problems that Parliament is laid back enough to waste its time having a debate on the threat of a Zombie apocalypse, then that country must be a pretty fucking nice place to live. Emigrating to Canada has always been an option for me in the back of my mind once I'm through Uni here in the UK, and believe it or not something like this actually makes me think about it on a more serious and immediate level.

 

[SirPlindington]

This makes me really happy. That's not unusual, given how fabulous this is, but I just thought I'd put that out there.

 

[TecnoMonkey]

One should not make promises they cannot keep.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

That Canadian guy should be the President of the entire world.

 

[RandV80]

Canada is a good place to be in case of a zombie outbreak. No one really thinks about it but population density is probably the biggest danger in terms of a zombie outbreak and Canada has one of the lowest population densities in the world. While we're no Madagascar there's plenty of open wilderness or isolated communities for Canadians to flee to... well except for those living in Southern Ontario, they're pretty much screwed.

 

[LordLundar]

Political observers noted that this was the most useful exchange to come out of Question Period in months.

Best part of the article, largely for accuracy.