Nintendo Patents Inflatable Pony Riding Controller

John Funk

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Dec 20, 2005
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Nintendo Patents Inflatable Pony Riding Controller



Think the Wii Balance Board was silly? Nintendo's patented Wii Horseback Riding Saddle gives it a run for its money.

Siliconera [http://www.siliconera.com/2009/08/10/nintendos-patented-horseback-riding-controller/] has unearthed a patent filed by Nintendo for - get this - an inflatable "horse" saddle peripheral for the Wii. The device (essentially, half of one of those exercise balls) would have a pocket for the Wii Remote, and the player would hold the Nunchuck to simulate holding the reins of their mighty steed.

What could they ever do with this? Well, according to the patent:

[blockquote]"For example, the Wii main unit can display the back of a horse's head and background of a trail, a field, a battlefield or other environment the virtual horse is being ridden through (see Figure 1A). The image may change in response to detected motion of the user."[/blockquote]

Boy, that really sounds thrilling, huh? But wait a moment! We've just been thinking about horses (and ponies) but we may have failed to see the true potential of this thing. Not only will you be able to use the controller to simulate riding a horse ... but you can use it to simulate riding other animals as well?

The patent lists some of the possibilities - normal animals such as "bulls, camels, elephants, burros, dolphins, whales," mythological creatures like "dragons, griffons, unicorns, giant eagles," or even things that aren't animals at all - "hang gliders or other aircraft, a magic carpet, a motorcycle, a jet-ski, a land or sea exploration vehicles."

Giddy-yap, Epona.

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AmrasCalmacil

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Jul 19, 2008
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That picture scares me for some reason...

But I wanna ride a flying marshmallow!
Which, ironically is what that thing looks like.

I wonder what Nintendo's been smoking recently. Whatever it is, they rolled it in a bank note.
 

ChromeAlchemist

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Aug 21, 2008
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I thought this was absolutely hilarious when I saw it. I really did.

AmrasCalmacil said:
That picture scares me for some reason...

But I wanna ride a flying marshmallow!
Which, ironically is what that thing looks like.

I wonder what Nintendo's been smoking recently. Whatever it is, they rolled it in a bank note.
Kush? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1Sb6AMVnck]

there are some patents that companies file because they don't want others to use such an idea, and then there's this. Oh well, it doesn't apply to me anyway, so I don't care.
 

A Pious Cultist

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I read this fully expecting something akin to the vibrating harry potter broomstick. I'd say this comes close althought its less usable as a sex toy.
 

RebelRising

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Jan 5, 2008
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I'm sorry, but the implications are massive, and they will eventually have to move on to actual sex toys as controllers, just for the hell of it.

Also, why does the little kid in the diagram look like a middle-aged midget?
 

mikecoulter

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Dec 27, 2008
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No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no.

Stop it.

Bad Nintendo, naughty.
 

KaiRai

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Jun 2, 2008
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If there's ever a definition of retarded in the Oxford English dictionary, this patent will be it.
 

IrrelevantTangent

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Oh, the furries/bestiality fans are just going to love this.

On topic: how can they possibly make a good or above-average game based around riding horses? It could work as an optional feature in the new Zelda game, but other than that...there isn't exactly a crapload of great horse-riding games out there, Shadow of the Colossus aside.

EDIT- Yay, 2001st post! :D
 

Jeronus

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RebelRising said:
I'm sorry, but the implications are massive, and they will eventually have to move on to actual sex toys as controllers, just for the hell of it.

Also, why does the little kid in the diagram look like a middle-aged midget?
It looks like the perfect prepiheral for Rapelay. Rapelay for the Wii! How's that for hardcore!
 

Jumplion

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Mar 10, 2008
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Wouldn't this be just perfect for the Pony Club here to use during the meetings?!?! I mean, seriously, Nintendo, you read Susan's mind didn't you?
 

xitel

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Aug 13, 2008
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AmrasCalmacil said:
That picture scares me for some reason...
Perhaps it's the kid's claws? I mean, look, his fingers aren't just pointy, they're sharp.
 

ProfessorLayton

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Nov 6, 2008
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This is a joke... this is a joke... this is a joke... this is a joke...

Please tell me that this is a joke... a... Pony riding controller? What? We have enough Nintendo gimmicks as it is...

Why does the gaming world need this? It's just silly. I can't imagine anyone buying this. Of course, I know people will and Nintendo will make millions of dollars...
 

DeadlyYellow

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Jun 18, 2008
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Better idea. Buy an exercise ball, and just sit on it while playing normally. That way, Nintendo doesn't get money for their increasingly stupid peripherals.

Hoowee, this idiocy is getting me worked up. Better go check my pulse.

...

xitel said:
AmrasCalmacil said:
That picture scares me for some reason...
Perhaps it's the kid's claws? I mean, look, his fingers aren't just pointy, they're sharp.
I'd say it's that creepy middle-aged man face the kid has.
 

IrrelevantTangent

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xitel said:
AmrasCalmacil said:
That picture scares me for some reason...
Perhaps it's the kid's claws? I mean, look, his fingers aren't just pointy, they're sharp.
That's no kid, it's a hobgoblin. It must be an advance scout sent by the hobgoblin army! THIS MEANS WAR!
 

HardRockSamurai

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May 28, 2008
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W[small]haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa[/small]t???

A-a...Nintendo...HORSE PERIPHERAL???

..........................................

...Nintendo, what the hell happened man???
 

xitel

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Aug 13, 2008
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DeadlyYellow said:
xitel said:
AmrasCalmacil said:
That picture scares me for some reason...
Perhaps it's the kid's claws? I mean, look, his fingers aren't just pointy, they're sharp.
I'd say it's that creepy middle-aged man face the kid has.
Or even the fact that he's wearing a onesie with shoes? While playing a video game? Or the simple positioning of that other hand? There's so much wrong with it I just want to scrub my eyeballs.
 

Fenring

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Sep 5, 2008
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Couldn't probably go ride a pony for the price of the game and controller? I mean, it'd probably take up the same amount of time, and you'd have way more fun.
 

stabnex

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Wow, in one sweeping move Nintendo has taken the top slot of bad design ideas right out from Sony's bulbous nose.

With this final hurtle of lunacy out of the way there's no stopping the fucksticks from releasing every horrible idea for a controller addon that's ever been kicked around the internet intended as a joke against the Wii and making a fortune off the casual gaming fandom.

The Penis Nunchuck.
The Breast Punching Bags.
Feedback Codpiece.
Yoohoo Bottle.
Guitar Hero Syringe.
The Wii Clock.


Ugh. I hate Nintendo.
 

IrrelevantTangent

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Oct 4, 2008
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stabnex said:
Wow, in one sweeping move Nintendo has taken the top slot of bad design ideas right out from Sony's bulbous nose.

With this final hurtle of lunacy out of the way there's no stopping the fucksticks from releasing every horrible idea for a controller addon that's ever been kicked around the internet intended as a joke against the Wii and making a fortune off the casual gaming fandom.

The Penis Nunchuck.
The Breast Punching Bags.
Feedback Codpiece.
Yoohoo Bottle.
Guitar Hero Syringe.
The Wii Clock.


Ugh. I hate Nintendo.
Don't forget the WiiBoobs- useful for either fondling or suckling!

...

God, I hate myself.


Back on topic: Even if this thing makes it out of Nintendo's secret underground lair, how much will it cost? $100? $150?