Honest Trailers Casts Its Eye Upon The Hobbit

[Andy Chalk]

Honest Trailers Casts Its Eye Upon The Hobbit

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Honest Trailers returns to Middle Earth to take a long, hard, baleful look at The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

Are you familiar with Honest Trailers? It's a video series that, as the title promises, provides an honest look at Hollywood blockbusters through slightly reworked promotional trailers. Trailers like this one for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the first part of a trilogy that should really only have one installment.

It's not the most sophisticated humor of all time because it's really just honest observation - hence the title - presented in movie trailer narrator voice. But does ask some hard questions, like how does a 300-page book become a trilogy that's just as long as a trilogy of books that are 400 pages each? Why did the eagles drop him so far from the mountain? And just how do you pronounce "Smaug," anyway?

Oh, never mind all that. Just enjoy the honesty!


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[blalien]

I know this makes me one of those nerds, but both The Hobbit and LOTR offer clear explanations on why the eagles don't just fly them all the way to the end. In The Hobbit, the eagles were too afraid to fly over Mirkwood. The trip would have taken more than a day, which means the eagles would have had to land in Mirkwood to rest. And it's not like the eagles were morally obligated to do it anyway. The dwarves aren't out to save the world, they just want their gold and land back. Not to mention that the only other place the eagles could have taken them was Lake Town, and Smaug regularly goes on patrols around the mountain and might have seen them coming.

 

[kailus13]

I always thought it was pronounced "Smorg", "Smowg" makes him sound like he was named by a whiny cat.

You can't have dwarves without singing! Which is possibly why the balrog decided to kill them all.

To be fair, I think the 3 movie thing will turn out to be an excuse to have an hour long battle sequence in the third movie. Between 5 different armies no less.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I know this makes me one of those nerds, but both The Hobbit and LOTR offer clear explanations on why the eagles don't just fly them all the way to the end. In The Hobbit, the eagles were too afraid to fly over Mirkwood. The trip would have taken more than a day, which means the eagles would have had to land in Mirkwood to rest. And it's not like the eagles were morally obligated to do it anyway. The dwarves aren't out to save the world, they just want their gold and land back. Not to mention that the only other place the eagles could have taken them was Lake Town, and Smaug regularly goes on patrols around the mountain and might have seen them coming.

And you know what would have solved that problem? If the eagles had freaking TALKED in the movie like they do in the books. You're right. They explain not only why they don't go all the way, but also why they always show up when Gandalf calls them. However, since Jackson has apparently decided that animals don't talk in The Hobbit (unless you're a dragon, of course), the eagles don't explain what they're doing, and thus fans like you and me have to constantly endure 'smart' comments such as, "Why didn't the eagles take them all the way?" I'm actually really worried about the spiders talking now too, as that is how Bilbo names his sword. They literally ask, "What is it called?" and Bilbo says, "Sting!" Sigh...sorry, you're not the only one out there who is one of 'those nerds.'

Anyway, as always, Honest Trailers did an amazing job. Funny, but also brutally honest about the movie's flaws. Sadly, they nailed the Extended Edition as well. It adds almost nothing noteworthy, unlike the Lord of the Rings Extended Editions.

 

[Worgen]

I like honest trailers but this doesn't seem like it belongs in the news feed. Although if you wanted to do a post about PONIES THE ANTHOLOGY 3! that would be fine.

 

[DjinnFor]

But does ask some hard questions, like how does a 300-page book become a trilogy that's just as long as a trilogy of books that are 400 pages each?

Um, it didn't? The Hobbit movie trilogy isn't a straight adaption of the one Tolkien book. There are a lot of extra background information included in the movies based off of Tolkien's subsequent writing. When Bilbo splits off from the group in the Troll King's mountain, nothing the dwarves do is ever really touched on, yet it gets a dedicated 10 minutes in the movie.

And the movie adaptation of LOTR cut an astronomical amount out of the books, even in their extended editions. To count them as "400 page books" when about half of it was ignored is disingenuous.

However, since Jackson has apparently decided that animals don't talk in The Hobbit (unless you're a dragon, of course), the eagles don't explain what they're doing, and thus fans like you and me have to constantly endure 'smart' comments such as, "Why didn't the eagles take them all the way?"

Except that isn't an intelligent comment even strictly in the context of the movie.

Why didn't the eagles didn't do all the work in The Hobbit?

Because there is a giant fucking dragon in that mountain that could gobble up those eagles like a bag of chips. All they do is talk about dragons all fucking day, the average viewer should be clued in by now that it's dangerous to approach the thing.

Why didn't the eagles didn't do all the work in Lord of the Rings?

Because Sauron has nine Nazgul atop winged beasts. Any viewer should make a reasonable assumption that Sauron is not a retard and have a majority of them on standby in case of such possibility; in fact, do you ever even see the nine assembled in one place at any point except the Arwen chase sequence in Fellowship? The air around Mordor was only clear to the Eagles when the ring was destroyed and the Ringwraiths died with it.

 

[Aggieknight]

I love honest trailers.

And as a lifelong Tolkien fan...the hobbit was a huge letdown.

 

[Sniper Team 4]

I like honest trailers but this doesn't seem like it belongs in the news feed. Although if you wanted to do a post about PONIES THE ANTHOLOGY 3! that would be fine.

I'll be honest, I did not find this one as funny as II, and I didn't find II as funny as the first one. I fear I may be getting slightly jaded...although the Borderlands one was freaking hilarious!
Thread officially highjacked (?)!

I love honest trailers.

And as a lifelong Tolkien fan...the hobbit was a huge letdown.

You and me both. I was hoping the Extended Edition would fix that, but sadly, it did not. For me, I feel the Extended Edition actually made the letdown even bigger.

 

[Worgen]

I like honest trailers but this doesn't seem like it belongs in the news feed. Although if you wanted to do a post about PONIES THE ANTHOLOGY 3! that would be fine.

I'll be honest, I did not find this one as funny as II, and I didn't find II as funny as the first one. I fear I may be getting slightly jaded...although the Borderlands one was freaking hilarious!
Thread officially highjacked (?)!

I love honest trailers.

And as a lifelong Tolkien fan...the hobbit was a huge letdown.

You and me both. I was hoping the Extended Edition would fix that, but sadly, it did not. For me, I feel the Extended Edition actually made the letdown even bigger.

I don't actually remember it. I got too drunk with my friends when we watched it, Ill have to watch it again.

 

[synobal]

I kinda want to hate this even though it is mostly right simply because 1) it was a pretty good movie, 2) the hobbit is one of my favorite books ever.

 

[AldUK]

I have been saying since they announced it; 3 movies from the Hobbit is a joke. It is clear as day that it's just to make as much money from this as they possibly can.

I like honest trailers but this doesn't seem like it belongs in the news feed. Although if you wanted to do a post about PONIES THE ANTHOLOGY 3! that would be fine.

Watched the entire thing. No regrets.

 

[ungothicdove]

Yeah, I'm going to see The Desolation of Smaug because I used to be a huge LotR fan. Read the books many times along with The Silmarillion and Children of Hurin. Really enjoyed the film FotR and liked TT quite a bit. Then RotK happened and it lost some of it's luster. I can't be the only one who thought the Fellowship was the only movie that actually deserved the Best Picture Oscar?? Anyway, I really disliked An Unexpected Journey but I'm going to try and have an open mind going in and not ruin it for my movie going companions.

 

[Meinos Kaen]

Hmmm, I don't know... I actually preferred The Hobbit to the Lord of the Rings. This has that D&D adventure feel all over it. It seems much more focused.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

I always thought it was pronounced "Smorg", "Smowg" makes him sound like he was named by a whiny cat.

Me too. I was surprised when I heard Smawg in the trailer, it was kinda amusing so I hope it doesn't pull me out of the second movie when I eventually see it. Smorg sounds far more threatening. Then again, Tolkien did write a lot of extra material, some of it including pronunciation guides, so perhaps the movie got it right. It took me a while to learn that Cirith Ungol was pronounced with a K sound rather than an S. Although, that looks blindingly obvious now that I've written it down...

You can't have dwarves without singing! Which is possibly why the balrog decided to kill them all.

Exactly! I don't know why people moan about all the songs (not that there are many in the movie) did they even read the book? Every third page features some sort of 20 verse epic.

 

[Cpt. Slow]

Hey my friend Jeff posted a youtube video today. It has super high production values. We hung up a green sheet behind him and everything.
will you guys do a story about him?

Ha, I see what you did there.

Although I like the Honest trailers, sometimes they make a remark about a situation that was clearly explained in the film. But apparently they missed that. And not only once, multiple times.

Example: In the honest trailer of James Bond: Skyfall they are wondering why the hard-drive Bond was after in the opening sequence wasn't important any more. Well, if they really paid a bit more attention, then they would see a scene that has a posted YouTube video (lol) with all the information on that hard drive being released on the internet.

And it wasn't something you could have missed, they showed it long enough to tie up the loose end that was the opening scene.

So maybe next time they should change their YT name to: 'We-were-so-stoned-when-we-watched-this-film-so-that-we-missed-most-of-it-and-now-wonder-why-those-things-happened trailers'.

 

[Grimh]

Haha!
Not their best one but it had some funny moments.

Man I loved An Unexpected Journey and am looking forward to watching the next one tomorrow.

 

[Quellist]

I'm actually really worried about the spiders talking now too, as that is how Bilbo names his sword. They literally ask, "What is it called?" and Bilbo says, "Sting!" Sigh...sorry, you're not the only one out there who is one of 'those nerds.'

I have to outnerd you here. If i recall spiders talking has nothing to do with Bilbo naming the sword. He wakes up to find a spider trying to bind him with webs, cuts the webs with his sword and kills it. After that he looks at the blade with reverence and says to himself "I shall give you a name, i shall call you Sting"

 

[RaikuFA]

They could've just put up the scene from Clerks 2 about LotR and it'd be just as effective.

 

[Ruisu]

Honest Trailers used to be funnier. Now a lot of their trailers are just "Let's recap whatever the internet is complaining about this movie and say it with MovieVoice."