Forget Diamonds On Valentine's Day - Give Your Love Fingerite Instead

John Keefer

Devilish Rogue
Aug 12, 2013
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Forget Diamonds On Valentine's Day - Give Your Love Fingerite Instead

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Anyone can give diamonds, rubies or emeralds on Valentine's Day, but if you really want to impress, go for something really rare, like Fingerite or Cobaltomenite.

If orange is the new black, than minerals are the new precious gems. So if you want to impress that loved one, forget the diamonds and go for one of the more the 2,500 extremely rare minerals found in the Earth.

A new paper coming out in American Mineralogist entitled "On the Nature and Significance of Rarity in Mineralogy" [http://www.minsocam.org/msa/ammin/AM_Preprints/5601HazenPreprint.pdf] explains that some of these minerals are incredibly rare and can go a long way to helping us understand the formation of the planet.

"You say why study them, they seem so insignificant, but they are the key to the diversity of Earth's near-surface environments," said Dr. Robert Hazen, co-author of the study.

So what are some of the rarest minerals? Here's a short list:


Cobaltomenite: This mineral has only been found in Argentina, Bolivia, the Democratic Republic of Congo and Utah, and it is found is such small quantities that all that has been found to date could be fit into a shot glass.
Ichnusaite: Found only once in Sardinia, Italy, in 2013, this mineral was created from a mix of the radioactive element thorium and lead-like molybdenum. Scientists say this is probably the rarest of all Earth's minerals.
Fingerite: This element has only been found in El Salvador, near the top of the Izalco volcano. Termed "the perfect storm of rarity," the paper said it meets the four criteria of rarity - "it is formed under extremely restrictive conditions (category 1) from rare elements (category 2). It is water soluble so disappears when rained upon (category 3), and in a place it is rarely collected (category 4)."
Nevadaite: This microscopic mineral has only been found in two place in the world, Eureka County, Nev., and a copper mine in Kyrgyzstan. It is made up of copper and the scarce element of vanadium.
Hazenite: Named after Hazen when it was discovered by one of his students, this mineral has only been found in Mono Lake in the California desert, and only on certain days of the year when microscopic lifeforms that live in the lakebed excrete the crystals to combat excess phosphorous. "They're basically microbial poop," Hazen said. "People tell me, 'Hazenite happens.'"


There are more than 5,000 minerals on the Earth and a little more than 2,500 are considered rare, meaning they are found in five or fewer places around the world. "We need to re-think 'animal, vegetable, or mineral'," says Jesse Ausubel, a professor who participated with the research team. "In the old parlor game, if it isn't alive, doesn't grow and comes from the ground, it's a mineral, but some of these rare minerals do grow and don't entirely come from the ground."

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And an example of a mineral that is very hard to find, but makes up about 70 percent of the Earth's lower mantle, you need to look no further than Bridgmanite, discovered in 2014. Bridgmanite only forms under extremely high pressure, the kind that would happen if a meteorite struck the planetary crust with an immense force. But it can form deeper in the Earth where pressure is much higher than on the surface.

While there is already a huge catalog of minerals, Hazen believes that more than 1,500 minerals have yet to be discovered.

Source: Maine News Online [http://www.minsocam.org/msa/ammin/AM_Preprints/5601HazenPreprint.pdf]

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Thaluikhain

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Jan 16, 2010
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I have to say it:

DeliveryGodNoah said:
Oh I'll give her "fingerite" alright ;)

Hm. That was too easy. Didn't feel anything.
That's what she said?
 

John Keefer

Devilish Rogue
Aug 12, 2013
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DeliveryGodNoah said:
Oh I'll give her "fingerite" alright ;)

Hm. That was too easy. Didn't feel anything.
Leave it to headlines to bring out the fun in the forums.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

Alleged Feather-Rustler
Jun 5, 2013
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I totally misread that as 'Fingerite your love'.
And now all I'm thinking about is the poor woman who has to date The Thing and put up with his endless puns.
 

Parasondox

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Jun 15, 2013
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Silentpony said:
I totally misread that as 'Fingerite your love'.
And now all I'm thinking about is the poor woman who has to date The Thing and put up with his endless puns.
Well she's blind so she won't see it cumming ;)

I ain't grabbing my coat. I 'm still here BITCHES!!

thaluikhain said:
I have to say it:

DeliveryGodNoah said:
Oh I'll give her "fingerite" alright ;)

Hm. That was too easy. Didn't feel anything.
That's what she said?
BOOM!!
 

FPLOON

Your #1 Source for the Dino Porn
Jul 10, 2013
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"I've traveled parts of the world just to give you the finger-"
"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"
"-ite... Will you marry me?"
"Oh... And you didn't take me with you? FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"
"...So, it's a 'No', then?"

Other than that, I bet Hazenite would be a smash hit at Fraternity/Sorority initiations... :p
 

JamesStone

If it ain't broken, get to work
Jun 9, 2010
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So, was it intentional or should I consider asking my friends for an intervention for having seen an immediate "fingering" joke in the title?

EDIT: reading the other comments after posting answered that. I love you, you degenerate fucks
 

Obbi

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May 7, 2008
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John Keefer said:
"it is formed under extremely restrictive conditions (category 1) from rare elements (category 2). It is water soluble so disappears when rained upon (category 3), and in a place it is rarely collected (category 4)."
"May this ring's material represent our love: Beautiful in its rarity, for it will cease to exist the moment the weather changes."
 

Quellist

Migratory coconut
Oct 7, 2010
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I'm saddened that none of these minerals appear to be the final ingredient for some superweapon or epic armor. What's the point in hunting for rare loot if all it's good for is bragging rights?
 

weirdee

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Apr 11, 2011
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my love for you is like this mineral that will leave as soon as things get too wet
 

Tsun Tzu

Feuer! Sperrfeuer! Los!
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Jul 19, 2010
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Glad to see we're all operating on the same perverse wave-length.
weirdee said:
my love for you is like this mineral that will leave as soon as things get too wet
...

Took it right on past where my brain stopped. I am ashamed of my lack in follow-through.



On another note, I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of the fora and/or fauna, Mr. Keefer.

But, c'mon...you walked right into this one.