The BioShock Bedtime Story

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
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The BioShock Bedtime Story

[gametrailers=56919]​
We all know BioShock [http://www.bioshockgame.com/] told a great story, but how would it do as a bedtime story? The short answer: Frikkin' awesome!

Let's be honest here: BioShock was a pretty run-of-the-mill shooter that was lifted out of mediocrity by a brilliant setting and a story that was interesting enough that most people were willing to overlook its many, occasionally glaring flaws. In the end, that's really what it came down to; we've all shot guys before but doing it in a collapsed underwater utopia built by an obsessed Objectivist who dragged an entire population of humanity's best and brightest into a hideously deformed madness? That's an unusual twist, to say the least.

So it's a good story, sure, but is it good enough for a bedtime story? As this video from Destructoid [http://www.gametrailers.com] proves, the answer is a resounding yes - although quite clearly, the quality of the storyteller has a lot to do with.

Personally, I hate being read to. My mind wanders and since I don't have the book in front of me so I can go back and reread what I forgot to pay attention to, I end up just ignoring the whole thing anyway. But this story held my attention; you might say I was enraptured by the telling. And unlike the game, the bedtime story actually has a good ending!


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Mar 16, 2009
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Malygris said:
Personally, I hate being read to.... but this story held my attention; you might say I was enraptured by the telling. And unlike the game, the bedtime story actually has a good ending!


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"Enraptured." Booooo.

Great story, however. Much better than Goodnight Moon. That story's been on a pedestal for too long.
 

Mausenheimmer

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Feb 11, 2008
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Right off the bat, they say Jack landed in the Pacific despite the fact it clearly states "Middle of the Atlantic Ocean". I know it sounds nitpicky, but really, there aren't that many oceans to get confused with.
 

bob-2000

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Jun 28, 2009
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That was awesome, i liked the Tenenbaum-nazi bit.

BioShock had a great story but a bad ending.
 

Klagermeister

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Jun 13, 2008
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They really threw me off when they said Atlas wasn't secretly Fontaine.
Hehe, gotta love the ending. (To the video, not the game.)
 

Soulgaunt

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Jan 14, 2009
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Haha, I liked the bit about Sander Cohen.
"They became great friends, and then Jack beat Sander to death."
 

Archemetis

Is Probably Awesome.
Aug 13, 2008
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"Jack then becomes best friends with a play-write called Cohen, he gives him lot's of pretty pictures and then beats him to death with a wrench."

"Jack then beat Atlas and either saved all the little sisters and gave them college educations and taught them about all the beauty of the world until he died a much loved hero in his old age... or he ate them all and took over the world."

- My two favourite quotes.

I loved it, especially the drawing of all the characters. The Big Daddies especially.
 

TheNumber1Zero

Forgot to Remember
Jul 23, 2009
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Entertaining. I was annoyed, however, by the repetetive mentions of Atlas not being Fontaine, the joke was funny the first time she said it, but felt stale afterwards.
 

ThaBenMan

Mandalorian Buddha
Mar 6, 2008
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"Jack became best friends with Cohen, showed him all sorts of pretty pictures, and then beat him to death with a wrench." lol. Hilarious video, and the illustrations were awesome too!
 

feather240

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Jul 16, 2009
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That ending was perfect.

"That ending sucked!"

"Yeah..."

I loved the part where she goes on about the college degrees and appreciation of life.
 

A Weary Exile

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Aug 24, 2009
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I don't know why everyone hates the endings, I liked them a lot.

Pretty funny, but I felt like it was undermining the story the whole time.
 

ae86gamer

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Mar 10, 2009
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"The ending sucked."
"Yeah...."

I'm totally gonna tell that bedtime story to my niece. ^_^