Advice From a Fanboy
- Thread starter MovieBob
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So, Mister Chipman, what do you think about Jameson? Should Simmons be recast even though he was in Raimis spiderman movies? Should Bruce Campbell come back?
Aieee! My brain!
Seriously though, I really hope nobody at Sony was reading that, as the prospect of them taking either set of advice is frankly quite infuriating - I treasure the things I can hate without reserve, but combining Spider-Man with the Jonas Brothers is beyond the pale. The film could be two hours of angry people flipping off the audience and insulting them for watching it interspersed with the sort of horrible that gets floated around on 4chan, and that would still be more palatable than involving the Jonas Brothers in a bloody Spider-Man film (even if it is a crappy teen-reboot).
Seriously though, I really hope nobody at Sony was reading that, as the prospect of them taking either set of advice is frankly quite infuriating - I treasure the things I can hate without reserve, but combining Spider-Man with the Jonas Brothers is beyond the pale. The film could be two hours of angry people flipping off the audience and insulting them for watching it interspersed with the sort of horrible that gets floated around on 4chan, and that would still be more palatable than involving the Jonas Brothers in a bloody Spider-Man film (even if it is a crappy teen-reboot).
Pretty apt, although I disagree with the part about casting younger "known" stars. I graduated from high school in 1985, and I was extremely pleased when I found out that Toby MacGuire had been cast as Parker - well past the cut-off line you describe. MacGuire was already a star at the time, and was wel suited for the part.
I think a better way of putting it would be not to cast young stars who are stars just because they're dreamboats; young stars coming out an indie background, where they are about more than just being a pretty face, would be a good choice.
I think a better way of putting it would be not to cast young stars who are stars just because they're dreamboats; young stars coming out an indie background, where they are about more than just being a pretty face, would be a good choice.
Please oh please i hope the film people dont read this and actually take this seriously. god knows what would happen.
You're absolutely right about fanboys not wanting their super heroes to be happy. Yet at the same time they claim to hate brooding and "emo" characters.
I always liked how Spider-man in the movies was upbeat, but in his personel life he was miserable.
I always liked how Spider-man in the movies was upbeat, but in his personel life he was miserable.
well bob your picture of the kangaroo made me realize you're an even bigger spidey-nerd than I thought.
I agree with the whole article in fact. Considering the current "geek age" of cinema I'm really surprised our kind isn't listened to more often about stuff like this.
Still, I really don't feel like complaining about something I haven't yet seen (Ok, I did it with the Dragon ball movie but it was plain fact it was gonna suck from the word go).
I know I'll be seeing it when it comes out and if I hate it I'll just surf the web and meet with certain friends and complain about it like I did with spider-man 3.
I agree with the whole article in fact. Considering the current "geek age" of cinema I'm really surprised our kind isn't listened to more often about stuff like this.
Still, I really don't feel like complaining about something I haven't yet seen (Ok, I did it with the Dragon ball movie but it was plain fact it was gonna suck from the word go).
I know I'll be seeing it when it comes out and if I hate it I'll just surf the web and meet with certain friends and complain about it like I did with spider-man 3.
When this nerd says he is not going to watch a movie, he damn sure follows through.
I have yet to see anything related to Twilight.
I watched only the first Harry Potter, on another's DVD, three years after its release, and I held that off as long as politely possible.
After falling for Two Towers (I did not expect it to suck) I have yet to buy the DVD set, but I did purchase Fellowship and Return. It was eventually gifted to me, and has been used once to educate the gifter on why it sucks.
I will not watch any Spiderman project without Raimi directing and Bruce Campbell stunt cast without some damn good reason. And that "damn good reason" is an escape clause like a paper airplane is a good escape pod.
I have yet to see anything related to Twilight.
I watched only the first Harry Potter, on another's DVD, three years after its release, and I held that off as long as politely possible.
After falling for Two Towers (I did not expect it to suck) I have yet to buy the DVD set, but I did purchase Fellowship and Return. It was eventually gifted to me, and has been used once to educate the gifter on why it sucks.
I will not watch any Spiderman project without Raimi directing and Bruce Campbell stunt cast without some damn good reason. And that "damn good reason" is an escape clause like a paper airplane is a good escape pod.
As long as they're starting over, we might as well have them use the greatest possible villain ever for the first movie.
Stilt-man.
Stilt-man.
If there's one word I hate more than Realistic, Gritty or Wacky, it's "Dark".
(Pardon my french for a moment)
Fuck Frank Miller for ruining superheroes. OOoh...look at us being gritty with prostitutes and sexual stuff and bullcrap that's only vaguely interesting when you're still in the playground. Fuck you for defiling a perfectly good genre with your reboots that made superheroes popular by turning them into adolescent fap material and then laughing at those same people.
(See also Michael Bay and Transformers, RTD and Toshwood, The Munsters today, the American version of Red Dwarf/Life On Mars etc)
Ok, I can admit it, that would work on me...
You are a sick and evil man Bob for even...ah hell, who am I kidding, we'll be lucky if we only get that.
(Nearly as big a Spidey fan as he is a Who fan)
I guess I am in the minority in geek culture because I frankly do not care about the revamp spiderman coming up. I guess that I reached the age where cynical apathy has gotten the better of me.
I guess that I've been down this road one too many times. I've weathered it with all other things internet. Here are some of my favorites from the last 10 years:
X-Men: What they got and Australian to play Logan? The guy that directed Apt Pupil is doing it. Professor X is Captain Picard, well, that's alright. Ray Park is not Toad. Toad is not this parkour master. He is a sniveling creature that acts like Igor to Magneto.
Spiderman: I don't know if Toby Macguire is right for this part. I like Sam Raimi, but he has never directed anything with this high a budget before.
Spiderman 2: Alfred Molina is not Doctor Octopus.
Teen Titans: They are ripping off FLCL.
Hellboy: Ron Pearlman playing the same goddamn role he has done his career. He is not Hellboy.
Iron Man: Are you sure you want Tony Stark to be portrayed by a womanizing, alcoholic? (This was said with out any hint of irony BTW.)
And do you know what happened with every single one of the movies mentioned above after it is released? The fanboy falls in love with it and pretends that their bitching never took place.
Instead of learning the lesson they should have, that sometimes it is better to wait then to ***** and complain about projects AFTER wards. It saves time, energy and leaves people without egg on their face.
And do not turn on the hindsight filter because I am talking about what happened before people have a chance to see it. I do not care about the reaction afterwards. I am focusing on the reaction before hand.
I guess that I've been down this road one too many times. I've weathered it with all other things internet. Here are some of my favorites from the last 10 years:
X-Men: What they got and Australian to play Logan? The guy that directed Apt Pupil is doing it. Professor X is Captain Picard, well, that's alright. Ray Park is not Toad. Toad is not this parkour master. He is a sniveling creature that acts like Igor to Magneto.
Spiderman: I don't know if Toby Macguire is right for this part. I like Sam Raimi, but he has never directed anything with this high a budget before.
Spiderman 2: Alfred Molina is not Doctor Octopus.
Teen Titans: They are ripping off FLCL.
Hellboy: Ron Pearlman playing the same goddamn role he has done his career. He is not Hellboy.
Iron Man: Are you sure you want Tony Stark to be portrayed by a womanizing, alcoholic? (This was said with out any hint of irony BTW.)
And do you know what happened with every single one of the movies mentioned above after it is released? The fanboy falls in love with it and pretends that their bitching never took place.
Instead of learning the lesson they should have, that sometimes it is better to wait then to ***** and complain about projects AFTER wards. It saves time, energy and leaves people without egg on their face.
And do not turn on the hindsight filter because I am talking about what happened before people have a chance to see it. I do not care about the reaction afterwards. I am focusing on the reaction before hand.
"Okay, yeah, this one actually won't help you at all, but it will give me plenty of material for more of these columns. In fact, y'know what? Don't take any of this advice. Hell, don't take any advice, period. Just keep making the exact same kind of decisions you've been making all along. Cast Beyonce as Gwen Stacy. Have Dane Cook turn up as Ben Reilly. Write fifty puns about Peter being a swinger into the dialogue. Have Spidey respond to someone's question about how to contact him with "I'm on the web." Stage the big final battle at a school dance where the Jonas Brothers are playing."
I'm saddened that that sounds like what will actually happen.
I'm saddened that that sounds like what will actually happen.
I tend to hate people that take fandom too seriously and complain about related movies/ games and such that were not to their liking. Get a grip and let it go. If you didn't like it, well then just walk out the theater or just don't watch it. I watched the new Indiana Jones. It sucked. I won't let it ruin the rest of the series for me and needlessly complain about why they made it. Who cares?
Anyway, never been a Spider Man fan except for the action figures but I thought all 3 movies were awesome. Sam Raimi made them enjoyable as hell and got the cinematography right. The dancing in the 3rd was almost my favourite part.
Anyway, never been a Spider Man fan except for the action figures but I thought all 3 movies were awesome. Sam Raimi made them enjoyable as hell and got the cinematography right. The dancing in the 3rd was almost my favourite part.
Please.
I'm a spider-fan, but the hard truth is it's not like the raimi films are perfect. and raimi's plans for 4 sounded terrible. vulture in 3d, felicia hardy as his daughter/vultress? s. c'mon. on top of that, many of the characters are dead. not to mention maguire doesn't ever sounds like he wants to be there, not to mention the fact that a double chin was poppin out of his tights in 3. dunst was woefully miscast, as Gwen stacy in 3 was closer to what mary jane should be.
sure, whine whine whine, how dare they go after the teen demographic? well, maybe we'll get a better realized supporting cast, some flash thompson for starters. dare to dream mechanical web shooters. if it's an average clone of the current spectacular spider man animated series, we're doing pretty well.
I'm a spider-fan, but the hard truth is it's not like the raimi films are perfect. and raimi's plans for 4 sounded terrible. vulture in 3d, felicia hardy as his daughter/vultress? s. c'mon. on top of that, many of the characters are dead. not to mention maguire doesn't ever sounds like he wants to be there, not to mention the fact that a double chin was poppin out of his tights in 3. dunst was woefully miscast, as Gwen stacy in 3 was closer to what mary jane should be.
sure, whine whine whine, how dare they go after the teen demographic? well, maybe we'll get a better realized supporting cast, some flash thompson for starters. dare to dream mechanical web shooters. if it's an average clone of the current spectacular spider man animated series, we're doing pretty well.
I want some goddam Lizard! For three movies they teased the cocks of our superhero-loving minds, and we sat there watching and writhing in uncomfortable pain as our metaphorical balls became blue, occasionally given a little *squit* of release when Doc Ock and Sandman come out to be the badasses they are, untantalized by some prick trying to pretend he can muster up actual hatred for Spidey, and gone all billowy with the brief affair between MJ and Gwen. And now not only are our balls so blue that any kind of release would be immensely satisfying yet immeasurably painful, we now have to face the fact that it's going to be another billion movies before he actually gets any screen time with his freshly grown green arm.