50 Reviews :: Portal :: and blasphemy

Stranger of Sorts

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Aug 23, 2009
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[HEADING=1]50 Reviews :: Portal :: and blasphemy[/HEADING]
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At first, I didn't plan to review Portal despite my frequent promises of cake. I haven't played the game in years and I doubted that it would work on the laptop that I am typing these words on now. So guess what my reaction was when Portal was being given away for free on Steam, I downloaded it and it actually worked! Even though my laptop uses a graphics card that Steam has never encountered before and is known to overheat if I have more than 3 windows open. So I set the laptop on my desk, stole my dad's usb mouse and we're off!


There are many complications to note when reviewing a game such as Portal: everyone seems to be obsessed with the game and the variety of memes that it has spouted so any positive review will be just another few pages on the mountain of similar reviews. But then a review suggesting that this game is bad will be dismissed as simply "wrong" with phrases like "you just don't get it" and "you have no soul!" So where do I go with this? Well I could opt for BlueInkAlchemist's[footnote]here's his review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.191446-Portal-The-Blue-Ink-Alchemy-Review-The-Orange-Box-5-5#6000382][/footnote] idea of reviewing the game in the perspective of Glados[footnote]I'm assuming you've all played the game or at least know all the trivia from it so I'm not going to bother with giving Portal an extended introduction[/footnote], but that is simply plagiarism. No, what I'm going to is argue a point; and that point is:

Portal is not nearly as good as everyone tells me it is.

Now before you all go and grab pitchforks and torches while screaming that this is blasphemy, here me out. I'm not saying that Portal is a bad game, I'm just saying that it isn't fantastic. As you all know by now, Portal is a small puzzle game with elements of humour which was part of The Orange Box and has recently risen from its classification as simply an add-on to something that, in many eyes, topped Half-Life 2 as the best game in the collection. You play as a test subject that has to navigate through several test chambers by using a hand-held portal device in order to earn your freedom.

I would liken the puzzles in this game to the ever-hated Farmville. While Farmville may not contain any puzzles the reason you complete the puzzles in Portal is for the same reason you plant crops. The puzzles in Portal are neither that challenging or, indeed, fun. You simply complete them in order to have a go at the next. Of course, the creators tried to get round this problem with the promise of cake after you complete 19 of these levels. But then again, I never did like that particular meme.
Sure, I am a great fan of the portal device and all the things it allows you to do. It's just that I think they could have done so much more with it: redirection of electrical spheres and the use of momentum were really the only things that were incorporated. These two ideas were simply repeated over the 10-odd levels where you actually had control of both portals which lead me to be increasingly bored and only playing for the part where you escape you fate[footnote]oh yeh.. spoilers by the way[/footnote].

[img height= 250]http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/gamelife/images/2008/07/14/portal.jpg[/img]
Mind = blown
But then again, I suppose the reason why Portal is hyped into the heavens is that people enjoy the humour that accompanies it and I would have to agree with the masses on this one. I too enjoyed the first time I saw "The cake is a lie!" written on the wall, or even the emotionally tearing Companion Cube level. But where the humour goes wrong is that it simply feels tacked on, like an afterthought when the developers realised that the puzzles could not stand by themselves. This is shown best if you take out the humour and see that the Companion Cube level is simple a prettied up "prop" level where you use an object to your advantage.
There is also a broader problem with humour in that the game will not stay funny forever; especially since what jokes there are have been killed outright by overuse as a lame attempt to join in. Humour also, does not mean a game doesn't need to bother with any other aspects like story, character development or gameplay. Furthermore, there have been plenty funnier jokes: for example I have Anchorman saved on my hard drive and I can switch to Dave whenever the TV is on and be laughing within the minute.

However, one cannot fail to admire the whole simplicity of Portal. It just doesn't bother with realism as far as fall damage and... Portals go. It's a game that says "Why do I need to have a story? People only want to have fun." Which is something all games should aspire for. But I've already gone in depth with that topic before[footnote]here [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.194992-Serious-Sam-Next-Encounter-and-why-games-should-be-less-realistic][/footnote] so I won't bore you with it again.

I think the main reason that Portal has been so successful is that it was such a surprise. Many bought The Orange Box for Half Life 2 and its episodes and were surprised to find a half decent game that could stand up on its own and was actually slightly funny. But to break the tone of this review completely I'm going to post the video of Still Alive in a half baked attempt to tie the review into what I'm going to talk about next.


__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

For those who are still reading hello! This spot is going to be used for the purpose of declaring that yes, I am still here. I've managed to amass a total of 50 reviews in a little under 3 months, may I be the first to ask how the fuck I managed that? Well from what I've gathered it's because of a mix of my frequent attempts at music reviewing and the fact that I actually enjoy doing this.

My efforts have rewarded me with a small following of people who regularly read my reviews (over at the music thread people have been asking why I haven't done one for a while, I have to say that was pleasantly surprising), a trickle of recognition from other reviewers even though most of it is negative and a self-awarded title. This isn't that much but it's a lot more than I was expecting when I first started doing this.

My writing has also improved, I hope anyway. I'm now a lot more in tune with "the flow" and have learned to stop insulting my readers... that often. Most of the improvement is down to how terrible I was when I first started along with (apparently) how I viscously attacked anyone who commented on my reviews. In my defence I though I was only being playful, but it turns out not everyone on the internet is British and used to such abuse from friends and family alike.

Oh well, I hope people have actually enjoyed the things I post on this forum. It would be good to know that I wasn't just declaring my opinions to a brick wall. If I wanted to do that I'd spent more time in the Religion and Politics section[footnote]Yay for jokes[/footnote].

Anyway, be sure to leave a comment concerning anything I've been talking about. This is also the last time you will be able to see "the wonder box" with all the links to my other reviews as I'm switching to a "next review/ previous review" format.

Thanks for reading.

Oh and... here you go.


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rokkolpo

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Aug 29, 2009
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I too recently played thanks to steam giving it away.

and i must say i agree it's not THAT great a game, although it was alot of fun.
i'm probably the only person satisfied withthe length of portal. but this length actually worked any longer and it would become boring very fast.

nice review!
 

BlueInkAlchemist

Ridiculously Awesome
Jun 4, 2008
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The way Portal is set up, going any longer than it did would have undercut the novelty of it. It was pitched, paced and framed perfectly, and that contributes to its huge success.

Doug Lombardi has said "Portal was a test bed. Portal 2 is the game."

I, for one, can't wait.

Nicely done on the review, Stranger.
 

Sassafrass

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Very nice review.
I've played only a few levels through demo discs from OXM and the levels included in that just didn't interest me. Fun for a 30 minute blast but it just doesn't appeal to me in the long run.

And congrats on the 50 reviews.
You insane reviewing person, you.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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BlueInkAlchemist said:
The way Portal is set up, going any longer than it did would have undercut the novelty of it. It was pitched, paced and framed perfectly, and that contributes to its huge success.

Doug Lombardi has said "Portal was a test bed. Portal 2 is the game."

I, for one, can't wait.

Nicely done on the review, Stranger.
Hopefully I'll have something that can run it properly by the time it comes out. And you're just saying that because I linked your review :p
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Good review, though I'm not sure I totally agree about the ''funny forever'' part. I feel that anyone who has has the jokes/humor spoiled for them won't find the initial first play through as amazing as someone who started fresh when the game came out (like a lot of people did who give it high praise) and that it's the same situation with a lot of other things that become tiresome the more you hear/see/do them. Even though it's all subjective depending on the person, that's how most things in life tend to boil down.

Otherwise, I agreed with most of what you said. :)
 

Rauten

Capitalism ho!
Apr 4, 2010
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Stranger of Sorts said:
the creators tried to get round this problem with the promise of cake after you complete 19 of these levels.
Congratulations, in a single line, you sent your entire review to the deepest pits of hell.
If you really thought you're doing the whole Portal thing for FREAKING CAKE, then, my dear sir, you and I have been playing completely different games. Because in my game, the cake was little more than a comical device, to make GladOS sillier, and the big, real reward was meant to be your freedom.

As for how it wasn't as good as people claim, it's mostly because by now, Portal has been so overexposed because of internet memes and whatnot, that as you say, it's no longer a surprise, almost everything you'll find in the game is already expected. Unfortunately, in this case, the internet has killed the game for those that have yet to play it.
 

Lullabye

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Oct 23, 2008
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Portal, however memed and worshiped it's become, is still a game. Because it is a game, it should be judged as such, not by how popular it's become on the internet. I'm glad you took the time to take it apart and review it as a game to be played, nothing more.
I never enjoyed Portal personally, but hey, I've always hated those FPS puzzle type games.
Good job on the review.
to quote a song: "I'm making a note here, huge success."
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Rauten said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
the creators tried to get round this problem with the promise of cake after you complete 19 of these levels.
Congratulations, in a single line, you sent your entire review to the deepest pits of hell.
If you really thought you're doing the whole Portal thing for FREAKING CAKE, then, my dear sir, you and I have been playing completely different games. Because in my game, the cake was little more than a comical device, to make GladOS sillier, and the big, real reward was meant to be your freedom.
Originally there was an extra paragraph explaining this but I removed it because it didn't really piece together properly. What it boiled down to is that there is little drive in this game as far as motivating the player is concerned and the cake thing was put there to give the players a little push.
 

2xDouble

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Mar 15, 2010
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*hands you a flame suit*
I wonder what else you think you should have been able to do with a Portal gun that wasn't at least possible, though unnecessary, in the game? Sever enemy heads with a portal to nowhere (a la Stargate)? Perform a bizarre magic trick by bursting out of an enemy stomach? Use the Portal to remove sections of wall or ceiling to which something heavy is attached (like a certain copyrighted bird-chasing wolf cartoon)?

You do offer an interesting perspective, however, and I agree that Portal is overhyped to a degree. Surely you know how things tend to get carried too far when one is excited.

side note: about the humor... you liked Anchorman. I think that explains it. (To fight "blasphemy" with "blasphemy") Will Ferrel is a hack.
*puts on matching flame suit*
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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2xDouble said:
*hands you a flame suit*
I wonder what else you think you should have been able to do with a Portal gun that wasn't at least possible, though unnecessary, in the game? Sever enemy heads with a portal to nowhere (a la Stargate)? Perform a bizarre magic trick by bursting out of an enemy stomach? Use the Portal to remove sections of wall or ceiling to which something heavy is attached (like a certain copyrighted bird-chasing wolf cartoon)?

You do offer an interesting perspective, however, and I agree that Portal is overhyped to a degree. Surely you know how things tend to get carried too far when one is excited.

side note: about the humor... you liked Anchorman. I think that explains it. (To fight "blasphemy" with "blasphemy") Will Ferrel is a hack.
*puts on matching flame suit*
Why thank you *puts on flame suit*... hey there's holes everywhere!

One thing they could have done is let you put portals on moving objects, it could have lead to some really cool and frantic puzzles.

While, yes, I would agree that Ferrel is a bit of a tool I do find Anchorman really funny, the amount of good quotes to be taken from that film is hilarious.
 

SextusMaximus

Nightingale Assassin
May 20, 2009
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The novelty of Portal has been worn out over the years, so I would agree that if you've had the huge build up of hype everyone else had without playing the game, the humour would seem a little... boring.

I also think Portal 2 will be a huge failure due to hype... but as far as Portal, I personally loved it.
 

reg42

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Mar 18, 2009
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The puzzles in Portal are neither that challenging or, indeed, fun.
Couldn't disagree with you more. Did you try the challenge levels after you beat the game? They weren't easy.
the creators tried to get round this problem with the promise of cake after you complete 19 of these levels.
Wait... What? You mean the cake motivated you to finish the game? ... Wow.
But where the humour goes wrong is that it simply feels tacked on, like an afterthought when the developers realised that the puzzles could not stand by themselves.
This depends on your sense of humour. I didn't find that at all, I thought of glados and her jokes as a kind of companion. It was very well done IMO
This is shown best if you take out the humour and see that the Companion Cube level is simple a prettied up "prop" level where you use an object to your advantage.
You can say that about any game. It's not really a valid point. And either way, it's not trying to disguise itself as anything else. If someone didn't know it was a prop level when they played it they'd have to be stupid.
Furthermore, there have been plenty funnier jokes: for example I have Anchorman saved on my hard drive and I can switch to Dave whenever the TV is on and be laughing within the minute.
I know this is ironic, but I really don't think you get it. Portal's humour is dark or black humour, the type found in absurdism. It's not meant to be laugh out loud funny. It's completely different to Anchorman. You really can't compare the two.
 

Mcupobob

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Jun 29, 2009
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Well after finally getting to play portal on my own computer and getting to enjoy the content without feeling like I was hogging my cosine's computer, I prombtly started the game and beat it twice(the other time was to hear the commentary) and the advance maps in two days I gotta say you're right portal is not a great game but if you reasearch who was involed and how it was made you would be impressed on those merits only. Portal 1 was just a small set up in exploring a completly orginal game idea and portal 2 is sure to be the great game that portal 1 had the potintal to be.
 

Silva

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Apr 13, 2009
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You took an awfully long time to simply say that Portal is not actually that great. Most of what you said didn't prove your point, either.

Despite this, you're absolutely right. Seventy awards, as the game received, is just too much for what it really provides. It was just too short, the gameplay was quite low on new features for each new puzzle. Each of the new features that did appear were not even used in the most inventive fashion, except in the overly-frustrating Advanced puzzles.

I mean, if you were to pop a review score on it during its "free to register and keep" period, it would score much higher, but just on its merits, it's probably worthy of an 8 or 8.5 out of ten. It's good, but excellent? If it is, it's only by building on the engine of Half Life 2.

Sure, to someone completely new who hasn't played HL2, it is a crazy cool game. But if, like many people, you opened your Orange Box and left Portal sitting around unplayed for a long time, conquering the other games in there first, then Portal would just feel like an expansion pack that has no action and allows you to use just the one new gun. Not very appetising.

Still, gamers ride the hype and it even extends the experience for those who remain high on it. Perhaps that's the real value in the game. If you could call that "real".

Aylaine said:
Good review, though I'm not sure I totally agree about the ''funny forever'' part. I feel that anyone who has has the jokes/humor spoiled for them won't find the initial first play through as amazing as someone who started fresh when the game came out
You are, very sadly, correct on this count.

I played Portal for the first time this week, and thanks to the meme being everywhere, "cake is a lie" had a very vague effect on me. It was like having one of the other nerds who quoted it endlessly sitting next to me, interjecting over GLaDOS' dialogue with an annoying, overused line.

Seeing it on the wall was also ruined for me. Thankfully, the fact that you can trail the other test subjects throughout the game made things more interesting. While the value of the humour is lost for the best part, the sadness or the serious side of what's going on isn't.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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reg42 said:
Couldn't disagree with you more. Did you try the challenge levels after you beat the game?
I was reviewing the "story mode"(/campaign/single-player... whatever they're calling it this time), not the add-ons.
Wait... What? You mean the cake motivated you to finish the game? ... Wow.
No, I said that to highlight the fact that I was not motivated by anything.
This depends on your sense of humour. I didn't find that at all, I thought of glados and her jokes as a kind of companion. It was very well done IMO
Well done it may be, but to me it's stale.
I know this is ironic, but I really don't think you get it. Portal's humour is dark or black humour, the type found in absurdism. It's not meant to be laugh out loud funny. It's completely different to Anchorman. You really can't compare the two.
I am a great fan of dark humour, I could replace Anchorman with Frankie Boyle or anything really. While I see your point with that comparison, the point still stands that the humour isn't fantastic, just pleasing.
 

BlueInkAlchemist

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Jun 4, 2008
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Stranger of Sorts said:
And you're just saying that because I linked your review :p
Well, as flattered as I am that you're prompting others to read my work, if you think that's the only reason I'm paying yours a compliment I'll have to ask you to step outside.
 

SavingPrincess

Bringin' Text-y Back
Feb 17, 2010
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Humour also, does not mean a game doesn't need to bother with any other aspects like story, character development or gameplay.
I was sort of with you to a point up to this... I am so glad Portal didn't have a lot of story; or at the very least didn't try to bog us down with annoying exposition (that was the major complaint I had with Mirror's Edge).

It's one thing to love First-Person Shooters and not like Halo or Modern Warfare 2; you can love RPG's and not like Final Fantasy or Elder Scrolls... but Portal really does stand in a class entirely on its own. The First-Person Puzzle game is (to my knowledge) completely new. I just think you don't like the genre, that is to say, the genre that consists entirely of one game... that game being Portal. Asking for more story in Portal is like asking for more story in a Half-Life themed version of Tetris. What they did was take a game concept and inject the Half-Life universe into it; I am actually sad that the next Portal game won't be just more test chambers and they're deciding to take it in a story direction. I don't think it needs it. Lumines doesn't need story; even games like Puzzle Quest don't really need story... it's just kind of... there.

I think you just ran into a genre you really don't care for. For instance, I wouldn't review a Real-Time Strategy like StarCraft or Command & Conquer because I know I don't like the genre, therefore all my opinions would be irrelevant, as I would be reviewing what I don't like about the genre and not about that particular game. So if you are looking at the genre (again, that being the genre consisting of entirely one game) and saying, "I don't like this about the genre" that's totally fair, but I believe the game did (successfully) exactly what it set out to do.
 

reg42

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Mar 18, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
I was reviewing the "story mode"(/campaign/single-player... whatever they're calling it this time), not the add-ons.
I'm just saying, they are there. You say they aren't challenging and then ignore it when the game gives you something more challenging. You could've mentioned it is all I'm saying
Well done it may be, but to me it's stale.
Oh okay, I didn't realise you were bringing opinion into it. That's also the trouble of reviewing a game that's 3 years old.
I am a great fan of dark humour, I could replace Anchorman with Frankie Boyle or anything really. While I see your point with that comparison, the point still stands that the humour isn't fantastic, just pleasing.
Oh okay, well again, that's your opinion.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Aylaine said:
Good review, though I'm not sure I totally agree about the ''funny forever'' part. I feel that anyone who has has the jokes/humor spoiled for them won't find the initial first play through as amazing as someone who started fresh when the game came out
Isn't that basically what I said? Or am I missing something?

Silva said:
You took an awfully long time to simply say that Portal is not actually that great.
I'm not sure that people would be happy if I just wrote one line since it's a pretty short review as it is. Anyway, it was not so much of a review as so many have been done before, but expanding on a point which I thought was backed up well though people are telling me otherwise... oh well.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Aylaine said:
Good review, though I'm not sure I totally agree about the ''funny forever'' part. I feel that anyone who has has the jokes/humor spoiled for them won't find the initial first play through as amazing as someone who started fresh when the game came out
Isn't that basically what I said? Or am I missing something?

Silva said:
You took an awfully long time to simply say that Portal is not actually that great.
I'm not sure that people would be happy if I just wrote one line since it's a pretty short review as it is. Anyway, it was not so much of a review as so many have been done before, but expanding on a point which I thought was backed up well though people are telling me otherwise... oh well.
You mentioned something similar, but not the part where people new to the game would likely get the most out of the experience rather then someone who picked it up today and has heard all the humor from actual people/the internet at least once. I was merely saying that if you picked this up fresh when The Orange Box came out like many people did, it would probably have shaped their opinions of the game (and maybe yours, too.) very differently.
 

spinFX

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Aug 18, 2008
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It's pretty glamorous to go the opposite way of popular opinion isn't it?

Halo is not all that good!
Half Life is not all that good!
CoD is not all that good!
Mass Effect is not all that good!

You are entitled to your opinion (not just you OP, saying this to everyone) but you have to acknowledge why people like these games. It's like Pink Floyd. Can't stand 'em. But I can respect them for what they do and how good they are at doing it.
 

Silva

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Apr 13, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
I'm not sure that people would be happy if I just wrote one line since it's a pretty short review as it is. Anyway, it was not so much of a review as so many have been done before, but expanding on a point which I thought was backed up well though people are telling me otherwise... oh well.
I didn't mean you should write nothing but the one line, but rather argue your point more directly. I wanted to see a serious discussion of the game's weaknesses, thoughts which obviously lead to your simple conclusion.

Instead, what I saw was two reasons for your opinion that were spread out through the piece. I wanted to hear more on them. Not to say that I'm dissatisfied with your writing, just wishing for more content.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
17,032
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I hate the memes so much...In fact, my hate for the memes has turned into a hatred for JoCo. Which evolved into a hatred of Valve's fanbase. Which is basically a hatred for 90% PC gamers.

Thanks, internet! For killing Portal with all those stupid fucking memes, and inspiring me to have so much hate.

OT: I liked Portal, but will never, ever, ever play it a third time.
 

Deofuta

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Nov 10, 2009
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0
I feel as though many people were tainted from the constant praise this game received. So much so that they have already made reservations about it, be them positive or otherwise. In truth it may not even be possible to get a review for this game that is not without some bias.

So, good review, but I feel as though it would have been different if you had tried it when it first came out, before all of the stuff that was associated with it did.
 

Zannah

New member
Jan 27, 2010
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I was about to unleash a wave of genuine hatred, upon realizing, that the misunderstanding here is, as mentioned before, quite simple.

You good sir, are apparently three years late to the party, and by now everybodies drunk, passed out, and it's no wonder your not enjoying yourself.

Despite not reaching the perfection of Games like Morrowind, Cod 4 or DMoMM (In my humble opinion the three best games, made to date), Portal was an amazing, surprisingly funny and above all surprisingly original game. And In 2007, it deserved the praise it got. But judging a 2007 game by a 2010 perspective, isn't going to work out, especially not when a game lives from the originality and freshness, which by now nobodies surprised about anymore.
So, your opinion is justifiable, albeit doing the game no justice, since you are judging it by false standards, plain and simple.
 

oppp7

New member
Aug 29, 2009
7,045
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0
The thing about the length is that taken in perspective Portal does very poorly. Explanation: I can't look at my thousands of fun hours put into Guild Wars and say that the 5 or so awesome hours of Portal were better. A game needs replay value. So it entertained you a lot for 3 hours or so. Great! In a few years or so when the sequel comes out you can be entertained again!
 

Jughead

New member
May 21, 2009
31
0
0
Nice review I agree with you that portal wasn't as good as it was portrayed to be. The game would of been so much better if it wasn't so short and easy but it was still a pretty fun game to play.
 

loremazd

New member
Dec 20, 2008
573
0
0
Don't ever try to review comedy, it's just not possible. There is no universally funny joke.
 

BloodyThoughts

EPIC PIRATE DANCE PARTY!
Jan 4, 2010
23,003
0
0
Well, congrats Stranger me boy for 50 reviews. I don't expect to get that many reviews by about the time I review Inglorious Basterds and is run out of the forums cause people disagree with me.

Anyhoo, nice review and I couldn't disagree more. I personally had a BLAST playing Portal and it is one of my top three best games ever. But, people go their own ways. So no big if you don't like something I don't. Again, good review!
EDIT:
loremazd said:
Don't ever try to review comedy, it's just not possible. There is no universally funny joke.
Yes, but Portal is a comical game. It's a serious game with a touch of humor sprinkled in to the mix. Oh, and the humor is actually humorous. Well, at least I think so.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Silva said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
I'm not sure that people would be happy if I just wrote one line since it's a pretty short review as it is. Anyway, it was not so much of a review as so many have been done before, but expanding on a point which I thought was backed up well though people are telling me otherwise... oh well.
I didn't mean you should write nothing but the one line, but rather argue your point more directly. I wanted to see a serious discussion of the game's weaknesses, thoughts which obviously lead to your simple conclusion.

Instead, what I saw was two reasons for your opinion that were spread out through the piece. I wanted to hear more on them. Not to say that I'm dissatisfied with your writing, just wishing for more content.
Ah okay I see. I'll cram some more in in the future.
Zannah said:
You good sir, are apparently three years late to the party, and by now everybodies drunk, passed out, and it's no wonder your not enjoying yourself.
Haha I love this. But good games should stand the test of time don't you think?
BloodyThoughts said:
Well, congrats Stranger me boy for 50 reviews. I don't expect to get that many reviews by about the time I review Inglorious Basterds and is run out of the forums cause people disagree with me.

Anyhoo, nice review and I couldn't disagree more. I personally had a BLAST playing Portal and it is one of my top three best games ever. But, people go their own ways. So no big if you don't like something I don't. Again, good review!
ah Inglorious Basterds... I hated that film. Anyway, this sort of game is always going to get different responses from different people, mainly because it relies so heavily on charm. Also, the quote above describes it rather well.
loremazd said:
Don't ever try to review comedy, it's just not possible. There is no universally funny joke.
You sir, have never watched Michael Macintyre.
 

Zannah

New member
Jan 27, 2010
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0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Zannah said:
You good sir, are apparently three years late to the party, and by now everybodies drunk, passed out, and it's no wonder your not enjoying yourself.
Haha I love this. But good games should stand the test of time don't you think?
In theory, yes, but there's practically no (as mentioned, I could name 3) games, that can still come close to their former glory, years after release. That makes portal a not-perfect game (then again something like this doesn't exist), but by no means makes it a 'mediocre' game.
 

The Rockerfly

New member
Dec 31, 2008
4,649
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I didn't read it however I will later and congratulate you now on reach 50 reviews


Also


Well done dude, pleasure reading all your reviews
 

Gildan Bladeborn

New member
Aug 11, 2009
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I actually just finished Portal for the first time courtesy of that Steam special offer - I might just be more unflappable than most but the near constant barrage of Portal in-jokes I couldn't help but absorb prior to actually playing didn't seem to adversely impact my appreciation for the humor.

I was however left wondering why "Lay down and assume the party position" wasn't as omnipresent as "the cake is a lie!" managed to be, as I found that way funnier, heh.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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0
Gildan Bladeborn said:
I actually just finished Portal for the first time courtesy of that Steam special offer - I might just be more unflappable than most but the near constant barrage of Portal in-jokes I couldn't help but absorb prior to actually playing didn't seem to adversely impact my appreciation for the humor.

I was however left wondering why "Lay down and assume the party position" wasn't as omnipresent as "the cake is a lie!" managed to be, as I found that way funnier, heh.
Actually yeh... but what is a party position?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
loremazd said:
Don't ever try to review comedy, it's just not possible. There is no universally funny joke.
You sir, have never watched Michael Macintyre.
No. All comedy is opinions. I find Michael more annoying that anything. Also, I love Portal. I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with everything you said. Despite the massive amount of people telling me it was fantastic, it actually lived up to expectations.
 

boholikeu

New member
Aug 18, 2008
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0
Hmm, unfortunately I think Portal is a bit of a victim of it's own success as I know very few people who played the game a few years after its release and enjoyed it as much as the rest of us did. When something is hyped as being the best/funniest game ever it's bound to disappoint.

I am a bit baffled that you think the puzzles were too easy and boring. I thought they provided the perfect amount of challenge and progression. Hm.

In any case, one of my favorite parts about Portal has always been the editing. While another developer might have "padded" the game with extra levels, Portal quit while it was ahead and left (most) players wanting more. I wish more games took a page from Valve's book in that regard (especially certain RPGs...) because I'm tired of being expected to play through 20, 30, even 50 hour games that have maybe only 10-15 hours worth of interesting gameplay.
 

Gildan Bladeborn

New member
Aug 11, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Gildan Bladeborn said:
I actually just finished Portal for the first time courtesy of that Steam special offer - I might just be more unflappable than most but the near constant barrage of Portal in-jokes I couldn't help but absorb prior to actually playing didn't seem to adversely impact my appreciation for the humor.

I was however left wondering why "Lay down and assume the party position" wasn't as omnipresent as "the cake is a lie!" managed to be, as I found that way funnier, heh.
Actually yeh... but what is a party position?
Obviously, it's the position you have to lie down in so the party technician can escort you to your party, that we're totally throwing for you because you won. Everyone was impressed by how much you won you know.
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,430
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0
Anyone who liked Portal really has to give Paranoia a try.

GLADos is your friend. Keep Your PortalGun Handy. Happiness is Mandatory.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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0
Payne121 said:
Anchor man is bad, as are most movies with Will Ferrel.
Um... good for you? Do you have anything relevant to state?

The_root_of_all_evil said:
Anyone who liked Portal really has to give Paranoia a try.

GLADos is your friend. Keep Your PortalGun Handy. Happiness is Mandatory.
Haha I might check that out, is it only similar because of the computer "overlord"? Or does it incorporate humour at all?

Oh by the way, very nice avatar. But as we all know that as long as you are near a rift in time, you're fine.
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,430
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Haha I might check that out, is it only similar because of the computer "overlord"? Or does it incorporate humour at all?
Basically, the entire setting is an Orwellian nightmare crossed with the Marx Brothers. Everyone is incompetent, lazy and overworked; while the ruler is a paranoid, megalomaniacal child.
Run by a good GM, you will be equally afraid of doing nothing and doing something.
Oh by the way, very nice avatar. But as we all know that as long as you are near a rift in time, you're fine.
Ta :) But that's a very odd definition of "fine" that you choose...
 

Scobie

Good Leader. Best Friend.
Mar 16, 2009
1,918
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0
Given that I loved Portal, even though I was a couple of years late to the party, it's obvious that I disagree with most of the points you've made. So I won't bother to go over them all. There's just one particular section I take issue with.
Stranger of Sorts said:
Humour also, does not mean a game doesn't need to bother with any other aspects like story, character development or gameplay. Furthermore, there have been plenty funnier jokes: for example I have Anchorman saved on my hard drive and I can switch to Dave whenever the TV is on and be laughing within the minute.
The first problem is, obviously, that you found Anchorman funnier than Portal, which suggests that we have fairly radically different approaches to humour. The second is your assertion that Portal doesn't bother with "story, character development or gameplay". You didn't like the gameplay and I did. That's fine. It means that it didn't do it for you, not that it just wasn't bothered with. Same with story. I found that Portal had a pretty good story behind it. It's just that it wasn't presented directly to you, but rather hinted at subtly. I happen to like that kind of storytelling. It makes a refreshing change from the heavy-handed expository cutscenes most games present as great storytelling. And I find it hard to believe that you didn't think they'd bothered with character development. Admittedly, Chell is just a standard silent protagonist, which I don't like, but almost every line of dialogue in the game is devoted to developing GLaDOS' character. That's a lot of dialogue and GLaDOS is, hands down, one of my favourite fictional characters in anything, ever.

I don't take issue with your blasphemy - when it comes to entertainment everyone can like whatever they want (I don't like HL2. Shh. Don't tell anyone). But (and I realise I'm edging dangerously close to "You just don't get it" territory here), just because you didn't enjoy certain aspects of the game doesn't mean that they weren't there or that no effort was put into them.

Oh, and Paranoia is full of black humour, just like Portal. I can highly recommend it to anyone that liked Portal's sense of humour :p
 

MrGFunk

New member
Oct 29, 2008
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BlueInkAlchemist said:
The way Portal is set up, going any longer than it did would have undercut the novelty of it. It was pitched, paced and framed perfectly, and that contributes to its huge success.

Doug Lombardi has said "Portal was a test bed. Portal 2 is the game."

I, for one, can't wait.

Nicely done on the review, Stranger.
Man, that makes me want it even more. Guess I'll be returning to the Mac roots if it's not coming out on PS3 though.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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0
scobie said:
-god almighty snip-
Why has everyone been picking up on Anchorman? That was just supposed to represent a random funny movie to prove that Portal is not the best comedy out there. But NOOOO now I am to be judged for it.

But otherwise I get what you're going at. I did kind of contradict myself in the next paragraph by the way by saying that the lack of story was a positive. I'm going to call it Homeric hypocrisy. (i.e it was deliberate... kinda)
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,430
0
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Gamemaster: You're in a long dungeon
hallway with a dirt floor, stone walls
and an arching stone ceiling. There are
burning torches in wall sconces every 10
feet. You see one door.
Warrior player: What colour is the
stone?
GM: Sort of orange.
Rogue player: Aah! I'm only Clearance
RED! Get me out of here!
Priest player: I'm casting Mass RAISE
Security Clearance to make us all
ORANGE. [Passes note to the GM: 'I'm
also casting Subvert to Communism on
the warrior.']
Wizard player: I'm using the Gem
of Memory to document the priest's
spellcasting. I, uh, may want to study his
technique later.
Priest: Of course, of course. [Looks
significantly at the rogue, whom he
subverted earlier. The rogue nods and
passes a note to the GM. The GM rolls a
20-sided die (1d20).]
GM: All right. You're all ORANGE for the
moment and can pass safely down the
hallway. Your orders, you recall, were
to investigate the door. [Passes note to
warrior: 'You feel a strange, treasonous
impulse to overthrow the existing social
order and restore power to the people.']
Warrior [Gulps]: Come, Comra - fellow
heroes, let us break down the door!
Wizard: Wait! Did you almost call us
'Comrades'? That's a Commie word!
Priest: Of course he didn't. I heard
nothing of the sort.
Rogue: Nor I. Are you levelling false
accusations against our leader? That's
treason.
Wizard: Don't anybody move! I'm not
only levelling accusations, I'm levelling
my Wand of Fireballs against all three of
these traitors. By the way, I'm recording all
of this with the Gem of Memory.
GM: When you reach for it, you notice
the Gem is missing.
Rogue: Uh-oh! You've lost a valuable
magical item. That'll mean a heavy fine
at the guildhall.
Wizard: I'm firing a fireball at all of
them!
GM [Rolls a 20-sided die]: I'm sorry, it
appears your experimental Wand of
Fireballs has backfired. In a trice you are
immolated in a ball of flame. Fortunately
the fire is orange, so at least your charred
body hasn't breached its proper Security
Clearance. Scratch one wizard. Your next
simulacrum has been dispatched from
the guildhall and should arrive shortly.
Wizard: You bastards are gonna pay.
GM: No comments from the currently
dead, please. Suddenly the door opens. A
huge hobgoblin in leather armour stands
there with his broadsword drawn. On his
chest you see the mark of a silver hand.
Rogue: I attack him with -
Warrior: Wait! I wave my fingers at him
from under my chin.
Priest and rogue: What?
GM: The hobgoblin nods at your
recognition signal and lowers his sword.
He waves you all inside. Who's going in
first?
Warrior, priest and rogue [Pointing at
each other]: Him!

Borrowed wholesale from the XP rulebook
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Gamemaster: You're in a long dungeon
hallway with a dirt floor, stone walls
and an arching stone ceiling. There are
burning torches in wall sconces every 10
feet. You see one door.
Warrior player: What colour is the
stone?
GM: Sort of orange.
Rogue player: Aah! I'm only Clearance
RED! Get me out of here!
Priest player: I'm casting Mass RAISE
Security Clearance to make us all
ORANGE. [Passes note to the GM: 'I'm
also casting Subvert to Communism on
the warrior.']
Wizard player: I'm using the Gem
of Memory to document the priest's
spellcasting. I, uh, may want to study his
technique later.
Priest: Of course, of course. [Looks
significantly at the rogue, whom he
subverted earlier. The rogue nods and
passes a note to the GM. The GM rolls a
20-sided die (1d20).]
GM: All right. You're all ORANGE for the
moment and can pass safely down the
hallway. Your orders, you recall, were
to investigate the door. [Passes note to
warrior: 'You feel a strange, treasonous
impulse to overthrow the existing social
order and restore power to the people.']
Warrior [Gulps]: Come, Comra - fellow
heroes, let us break down the door!
Wizard: Wait! Did you almost call us
'Comrades'? That's a Commie word!
Priest: Of course he didn't. I heard
nothing of the sort.
Rogue: Nor I. Are you levelling false
accusations against our leader? That's
treason.
Wizard: Don't anybody move! I'm not
only levelling accusations, I'm levelling
my Wand of Fireballs against all three of
these traitors. By the way, I'm recording all
of this with the Gem of Memory.
GM: When you reach for it, you notice
the Gem is missing.
Rogue: Uh-oh! You've lost a valuable
magical item. That'll mean a heavy fine
at the guildhall.
Wizard: I'm firing a fireball at all of
them!
GM [Rolls a 20-sided die]: I'm sorry, it
appears your experimental Wand of
Fireballs has backfired. In a trice you are
immolated in a ball of flame. Fortunately
the fire is orange, so at least your charred
body hasn't breached its proper Security
Clearance. Scratch one wizard. Your next
simulacrum has been dispatched from
the guildhall and should arrive shortly.
Wizard: You bastards are gonna pay.
GM: No comments from the currently
dead, please. Suddenly the door opens. A
huge hobgoblin in leather armour stands
there with his broadsword drawn. On his
chest you see the mark of a silver hand.
Rogue: I attack him with -
Warrior: Wait! I wave my fingers at him
from under my chin.
Priest and rogue: What?
GM: The hobgoblin nods at your
recognition signal and lowers his sword.
He waves you all inside. Who's going in
first?
Warrior, priest and rogue [Pointing at
each other]: Him!

Borrowed wholesale from the XP rulebook
Sounds... interesting to say the least.

Heart of Darkness said:
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
It did didn't it? But hey I'm not complaining. Glad to hear that my review is still standing with only minor chainsaw wounds.

Ah you're 5 hours behind me. 8.14 is not nearly as special.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
It did didn't it? But hey I'm not complaining. Glad to hear that my review is still standing with only minor chainsaw wounds.

Ah you're 5 hours behind me. 8.14 is not nearly as special.
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
 

Scobie

Good Leader. Best Friend.
Mar 16, 2009
1,918
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
scobie said:
-god almighty snip-
Why has everyone been picking up on Anchorman? That was just supposed to represent a random funny movie to prove that Portal is not the best comedy out there. But NOOOO now I am to be judged for it.
Principally because to anyone who didn't find Anchorman that funny it doesn't prove a whole lot. And, given that Anchorman and Portal rely on quite different kinds of humour, it says more about your taste in comedy than the quality of Portal.

On a side note: obviously, the kind humour that turns up in Paranoia depends on the GM. It'd be possible to run a Paranoia game with no humour at all, but it would sort of be missing the point. Generally it's black humour. But in my games (which are, I hope, fun in their own special way) replace "black" with "explosions" and "humour" with "more explosions". It still works quite well however you want to spin it. I'm aware that this thread is not supposed to be about Paranoia, but god damn I love Paranoia and I love talking about Paranoia. As always, a quote from the game itself sums it up best:

PARANOIA IS FUN. OTHER GAMES ARE NOT FUN. PLAY PARANOIA.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
Not when you abbreviate it wrong, it's not... Besides, EST is where all the cool people hang out.

AND I AM THE LEAD WEIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS! Wait...
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
I too, found the entire Orange Box poor. Nothing really worked.

Then my disk shattered in my drive. BURRRRRR.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
Not when you abbreviate it wrong, it's not... Besides, EST is where all the cool people hang out.

AND I AM THE LEAD WEIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS! Wait...
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
LordCuthberton said:
I too, found the entire Orange Box poor. Nothing really worked.

Then my disk shattered in my drive. BURRRRRR.
Now I wouldn't say the entire Orange Box was poor. Overall it was extremely good value, that is if your disc does not break.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
Um...yeah, let's go with that.
>.>
.>

And don't worry, you'll be able to take a chainsaw to me soon enough.
.>
<.<
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
Um...yeah, let's go with that.
>.>
.>

And don't worry, you'll be able to take a chainsaw to me soon enough.
.>
<.<
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
I'm going to chart out our conversation:

Normal --> Silly --> Strange --> Disturbing.

Does that sound about right?
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
9,909
0
0
I think you missed the point that Portal is tied into the Half Life mythology and referanced within the game. One of the first things "Orange Box" buyers was told was to play through Portal first so they would get the referances.

Understand that Half-Life is pretty much a phenomena, Gordan Freeman is an iconic character to gaming, arguably Half-Life is what made Valve which has been one of the champions of throw downs like March Madness.

I think this is an aspect of the success of Portal that is missed, especially since it was done well. Portal DOES stand alone fairly well, but also understand that the game is aging, and as you pointed out a lot of the humor has been beaten into the ground. Especially on the latter case it's going to influance reviews from people that were jaded to every moment of awesome in the game before they even played.

Such are my thoughts.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
I'm going to chart out our conversation:

Normal --> Silly --> Strange --> Disturbing.

Does that sound about right?
Perfect.

Therumancer said:
I think you missed the point that Portal is tied into the Half Life mythology and referanced within the game. One of the first things "Orange Box" buyers was told was to play through Portal first so they would get the referances.

Understand that Half-Life is pretty much a phenomena, Gordan Freeman is an iconic character to gaming, arguably Half-Life is what made Valve which has been one of the champions of throw downs like March Madness.

I think this is an aspect of the success of Portal that is missed, especially since it was done well. Portal DOES stand alone fairly well, but also understand that the game is aging, and as you pointed out a lot of the humor has been beaten into the ground. Especially on the latter case it's going to influance reviews from people that were jaded to every moment of awesome in the game before they even played.

Such are my thoughts.
I can see what you're going on about, shame I got this as a stand alone. My laptop would explode if I attempted to play Half Life on it.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
I'm going to chart out our conversation:

Normal --> Silly --> Strange --> Disturbing.

Does that sound about right?
Perfect.
Awesome. Now riddle me this: why am I still posting here when the discussion value has long since evaporated? (And the answer is not "to derail the thread"...although that would be fun...)
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Awesome. Now riddle me this: why am I still posting here when the discussion value has long since evaporated? (And the answer is not "to derail the thread"...although that would be fun...)
It's one more thing to waste your time on while the hourglass runs dry. Or not.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Awesome. Now riddle me this: why am I still posting here when the discussion value has long since evaporated? (And the answer is not "to derail the thread"...although that would be fun...)
It's one more thing to waste your time on while the hourglass runs dry. Or not.
Perhaps. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with Game Maker or any other program on my laptop.

Thank GLaDOS for being on the family desktop.
 

Gildan Bladeborn

New member
Aug 11, 2009
3,044
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
I can see what you're going on about, shame I got this as a stand alone. My laptop would explode if I attempted to play Half Life on it.
I rather doubt that - Half Life is ancient (it was a modified Quake engine title you know!), I guarantee your laptop would have no trouble with it. What you probably meant was Half Life 2, but considering Portal is using that same engine, you may have more success than you think.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Perhaps. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with Game Maker or any other program on my laptop.

Thank GLaDOS for being on the family desktop.
How's the game going by the way?

Gildan Bladeborn said:
I rather doubt that - Half Life is ancient (it was a modified Quake engine title you know!), I guarantee your laptop would have no trouble with it. What you probably meant was Half Life 2, but considering Portal is using that same engine, you may have more success than you think.
Yeh I meant the second one, it's more an issue of processing. There's a lot more going on in Half Life 2 and I reckon my laptop would simply overheat. Plus I don't really have full use of a mouse. FPSs and a touchpad is not a good mix.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Perhaps. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with Game Maker or any other program on my laptop.

Thank GLaDOS for being on the family desktop.
How's the game going by the way?
Nearly done, actually. I've finished the framework, all eight endings, and a majority of the resources (sprite edits, music, etc.), and I'm now working on the cutscenes that will make up the entire middle portion of the game. I did one today, as a testbed for what I want to do, and now I just need to assemble the remaining fifteen. I originally wanted it out by my nineteenth birthday (which is on Friday), but it doesn't look like that's going to happen with my work ethic. Hopefully before the middle of next week, though, it should be out.
 

xXGeckoXx

New member
Jan 29, 2009
1,779
0
0
I loved portal for it's originality and constant ingenuity in forcing you to think in ways that can be described only as mindfuck. GLaDOS is one of the best characters in video games. The deranged robotic intelligence with her constant psychological attacks on the character (especially at the end). The humour and plot was a core feature of the game. The game was designed with it in mind as GLaDOS and her personality was mostly formulated in the very beginning of production (I read articles and played the dev commentary). IT's hard to overstate how good the characters (two of them where) and how well the story was incorporated into such a simplistic game (and I am talking about the concept not the reality, the game devs made some difficult puzzles for the advanced ones). It fits into the half life world and while I respect that someone may not enjoy the humour (which was based on black humour, irony and sarcasm all portrayed by a robot that essentially has no feelings).
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Perhaps. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with Game Maker or any other program on my laptop.

Thank GLaDOS for being on the family desktop.
How's the game going by the way?
Nearly done, actually. I've finished the framework, all eight endings, and a majority of the resources (sprite edits, music, etc.), and I'm now working on the cutscenes that will make up the entire middle portion of the game. I did one today, as a testbed for what I want to do, and now I just need to assemble the remaining fifteen. I originally wanted it out by my nineteenth birthday (which is on Friday), but it doesn't look like that's going to happen with my work ethic. Hopefully before the middle of next week, though, it should be out.
I look forward to playing it... and then tearing it to pieces :)
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Perhaps. Or maybe I just don't want to deal with Game Maker or any other program on my laptop.

Thank GLaDOS for being on the family desktop.
How's the game going by the way?
Nearly done, actually. I've finished the framework, all eight endings, and a majority of the resources (sprite edits, music, etc.), and I'm now working on the cutscenes that will make up the entire middle portion of the game. I did one today, as a testbed for what I want to do, and now I just need to assemble the remaining fifteen. I originally wanted it out by my nineteenth birthday (which is on Friday), but it doesn't look like that's going to happen with my work ethic. Hopefully before the middle of next week, though, it should be out.
I look forward to playing it... and then tearing it to pieces :)
Nooo! My narrative! D=

Actually, I look forward to someone tearing it apart. Since I'm really weak with creative writing, this should help me get better at it. Along with a ton of practice. (pffft. Like I'm going to do that.)
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Nooo! My narrative! D=

Actually, I look forward to someone tearing it apart. Since I'm really weak with creative writing, this should help me get better at it. Along with a ton of practice. (pffft. Like I'm going to do that.)
You should. Although I'm proof the practice is not always all you need.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Nooo! My narrative! D=

Actually, I look forward to someone tearing it apart. Since I'm really weak with creative writing, this should help me get better at it. Along with a ton of practice. (pffft. Like I'm going to do that.)
You should. Although I'm proof the practice is not always all you need.
O know I've should. I've been meaning to write an Ace Attorney fan-fiction to try to develop my skills, but...I've been saying that for the past two months and I haven't even started working on the flow of the case. All I have are some sparsely characterized characters with punny names floating around my head, along with some idea for the murder (obligatory dun-dun-duuuunn!).

It's like me and drawing. I don't draw, because I suck at it, and the only way to get better is to practicing, but practicing only makes me realize how much I suck at it. It's only a downward spiral of self-shame and agony! D=
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
O know I've should. I've been meaning to write an Ace Attorney fan-fiction to try to develop my skills, but...I've been saying that for the past two months and I haven't even started working on the flow of the case. All I have are some sparsely characterized characters with punny names floating around my head, along with some idea for the murder (obligatory dun-dun-duuuunn!).

It's like me and drawing. I don't draw, because I suck at it, and the only way to get better is to practicing, but practicing only makes me realize how much I suck at it. It's only a downward spiral of self-shame and agony! D=
How can you achieve anything if you don't attempt it? Just sit down and type, the rest will come later.
 

JEBWrench

New member
Apr 23, 2009
2,572
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Good review. I disagree completely, but it was a well done view of your opinions regardless.

Bravo.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
O know I've should. I've been meaning to write an Ace Attorney fan-fiction to try to develop my skills, but...I've been saying that for the past two months and I haven't even started working on the flow of the case. All I have are some sparsely characterized characters with punny names floating around my head, along with some idea for the murder (obligatory dun-dun-duuuunn!).

It's like me and drawing. I don't draw, because I suck at it, and the only way to get better is to practicing, but practicing only makes me realize how much I suck at it. It's only a downward spiral of self-shame and agony! D=
How can you achieve anything if you don't attempt it? Just sit down and type, the rest will come later.
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
Distracting it is. But willpower is a skill that is very useful. Especially when trying to write fan-fiction!
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
Distracting it is. But willpower is a skill that is very useful. Especially when trying to write fan-fiction!
"Phoenix Wright used OBJECTION! It's super effective! Foe Miles Edgeworth fainted!"

...okay, so a Pokemon cross-over won't work here...

And I need more willpower. I really do. Sometimes I--OOH! CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS!
*om nom nom nom~*
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
Distracting it is. But willpower is a skill that is very useful. Especially when trying to write fan-fiction!
"Phoenix Wright used OBJECTION! It's super effective! Foe Miles Edgeworth fainted!"

...okay, so a Pokemon cross-over won't work here...

And I need more willpower. I really do. Sometimes I--OOH! CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS!
*om nom nom nom~*
Even the temptation of the internet can never match up to doughnuts. And if it ever does... God help us all.

Anyway we should probably end this soon. The people who've just written reviews will be pissed off since this thread keeps getting bumped on top of theirs.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
Distracting it is. But willpower is a skill that is very useful. Especially when trying to write fan-fiction!
"Phoenix Wright used OBJECTION! It's super effective! Foe Miles Edgeworth fainted!"

...okay, so a Pokemon cross-over won't work here...

And I need more willpower. I really do. Sometimes I--OOH! CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS!
*om nom nom nom~*
Even the temptation of the internet can never match up to doughnuts. And if it ever does... God help us all.

Anyway we should probably end this soon. The people who've just written reviews will be pissed off since this thread keeps getting bumped on top of theirs.
Probably. Then again, the User Reviews sections moves at the speed of a freight train on a good day, so I really don't think that that'll really be an issue. >.<
 

MiracleOfSound

Fight like a Krogan
Jan 3, 2009
17,776
0
0
Portal didn't blow me away either. I enjoyed it, it was fun and there wasn't really anything particularly wrong with it but for some reason it just didn't get me that excited. I found it a little... eh... bland.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
I know. It's just that I get discouraged really easily. I know I shouldn't, especially since the drawing class I took last semester proved to me that I can draw (but I REALLY hated the class...). And I think part of it is that I'm also easily distracted. I mean, I would like to do this, but Internet is so distracting.
Distracting it is. But willpower is a skill that is very useful. Especially when trying to write fan-fiction!
"Phoenix Wright used OBJECTION! It's super effective! Foe Miles Edgeworth fainted!"

...okay, so a Pokemon cross-over won't work here...

And I need more willpower. I really do. Sometimes I--OOH! CHOCOLATE DOUGHNUTS!
*om nom nom nom~*
Even the temptation of the internet can never match up to doughnuts. And if it ever does... God help us all.

Anyway we should probably end this soon. The people who've just written reviews will be pissed off since this thread keeps getting bumped on top of theirs.
Probably. Then again, the User Reviews sections moves at the speed of a freight train on a good day, so I really don't think that that'll really be an issue. >.<
A quick check tells me that today is "a good day". Not that it matters, we've completely run out of things to talk about. Haven't we?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
JEBWrench said:
Good review. I disagree completely, but it was a well done view of your opinions regardless.

Bravo.
Cheers.

MiracleOfSound said:
Portal didn't blow me away either. I enjoyed it, it was fun and there wasn't really anything particularly wrong with it but for some reason it just didn't get me that excited. I found it a little... eh... bland.
It was, however, very shiny.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
A quick check tells me that today is "a good day". Not that it matters, we've completely run out of things to talk about. Haven't we?
We can always find more things to talk about. We have barely scratched the surface of topics to babble inanely about!

Other than that, though, I say yes. And I probably should go work on that game now...
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
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Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
A quick check tells me that today is "a good day". Not that it matters, we've completely run out of things to talk about. Haven't we?
We can always find more things to talk about. We have barely scratched the surface of topics to babble inanely about!

Other than that, though, I say yes. And I probably should go work on that game now...
Get to it! *whips*
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
A quick check tells me that today is "a good day". Not that it matters, we've completely run out of things to talk about. Haven't we?
We can always find more things to talk about. We have barely scratched the surface of topics to babble inanely about!

Other than that, though, I say yes. And I probably should go work on that game now...
Get to it! *whips*
OW! Stupid German prosecutor lady...

Only those foolishly foolish fools would be foolish enough to call me stupid!
 

Sikachu

New member
Apr 20, 2010
464
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0
Portal is a highly enjoyable technical demo. It was very cheap to buy as a standalone and its brevity more or less prevents it from developing much in the way of storyline. No it doesn't deserve plaudits like best game ever etc. but per hour of gameplay it is far more enjoyable and fresh than HL2 was (though not a patch on HL1). We'll see how it develops when they make a full game of it in Portal 2 (and hopefully Episode 3 or HL3).
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Sikachu said:
Portal is a highly enjoyable technical demo. It was very cheap to buy as a standalone and its brevity more or less prevents it from developing much in the way of storyline. No it doesn't deserve plaudits like best game ever etc. but per hour of gameplay it is far more enjoyable and fresh than HL2 was (though not a patch on HL1). We'll see how it develops when they make a full game of it in Portal 2 (and hopefully Episode 3 or HL3).
Hmmm.. can't say I agree with you too much over the HL/HL 2 bit. Everyone to their own I guess. Anyway thanks for dropping by.
 

Rasputin1

Don't panic
Apr 6, 2010
1,335
0
0
spinFX said:
Halo is not all that good!
Half Life is not all that good!
CoD is not all that good!
Mass Effect is not all that good!


It's like Pink Floyd. Can't stand 'em.
I'm gonna have to ask you to step outside sir.
 

Sev72

New member
Apr 13, 2009
600
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0
I have to say that I didn't like it much either. I also took advantage of Valve's free sale and tried it this weekend. I was to say the least disappointed. The puzzles were pretty easy, the humor just wasn't there for me (it was basically spoiled by all the internet memes) and out of what they could have done with the portal gun mechanic they managed to do nothing much. The only things you could do with it were redirect the energy balls, or jump off of something high into a portal to get launched, and that was pretty much it.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Rasputain1 said:
spinFX said:
Halo is not all that good!
Half Life is not all that good!
CoD is not all that good!
Mass Effect is not all that good!


It's like Pink Floyd. Can't stand 'em.
I'm gonna have to ask you to step outside sir.
You won't get the full extent of this as it's from an English sketch show called Armstrong and Miller but...

It's all kicking off! *window smashes*

Sev72 said:
I have to say that I didn't like it much either. I also took advantage of Valve's free sale and tried it this weekend. I was to say the least disappointed. The puzzles were pretty easy, the humor just wasn't there for me (it was basically spoiled by all the internet memes) and out of what they could have done with the portal gun mechanic they managed to do nothing much. The only things you could do with it were redirect the energy balls, or jump off of something high into a portal to get launched, and that was pretty much it.
Hey look it's someone who agrees with me! You're a rare commodity m'man. And this post is a lot easier on the eye than the few people you've sent me PM's starting with "I'm not saying you're wrong but..."

Oh and thanks for reading, both of you.
 

Virtual_Dom

New member
Jul 3, 2009
246
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0
Totally agree with you, but Portal was still great.

I agree that the charm of the game was that it was a such a surprise. This is why I have doubts about Portal 2, because its not a surprise anymore, we know what to expect (assuming we read the wikipedia page)
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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0
I don't think portal is funny. I think it's horrifying. You are taken out of your life, for the sake of a badly put together scientific experiment where the illusion of freedom is falling apart around you.

It's god damn terrifying.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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0
starfox444 said:
I don't think portal is funny. I think it's horrifying. You are taken out of your life, for the sake of a badly put together scientific experiment where the illusion of freedom is falling apart around you.

It's god damn terrifying.
Isn't life just a poorly put together experiment where the illusion of freedom has long since vanished?

Virtual_Dom said:
Totally agree with you, but Portal was still great.

I agree that the charm of the game was that it was a such a surprise. This is why I have doubts about Portal 2, because its not a surprise anymore, we know what to expect (assuming we read the wikipedia page)
While I agree with you, I do hope it is amazing. For Valve's sake if anything.
 

veloper

New member
Jan 20, 2009
4,597
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Portal deserved all the praise it got. An original gameplay idea that is actually fun has become an extremely rare thing in game land.
Have some decent production values too and what you get is a classic. No way around it.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
starfox444 said:
I don't think portal is funny. I think it's horrifying. You are taken out of your life, for the sake of a badly put together scientific experiment where the illusion of freedom is falling apart around you.

It's god damn terrifying.
Isn't life just a poorly put together experiment where the illusion of freedom has long since vanished?
That says more about life than it does Portal.
 

lord canti

New member
May 30, 2009
619
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0
I', glad I'm not the only one who thinks portal is a good game but is completely overatted.
 

blankedboy

New member
Feb 7, 2009
5,234
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0
Something tells me you're just not into puzzle games. Saying that completing the puzzles is just as useful as planting crops in FarmVille is like saying that living a life is just as important as throwing rocks at a brick wall. You have to appreciate something for what it is, rather than ***** about how it never accomplishes anything.

(I liked Portal alot, but I do agree about the overrated-ness)
 

Contradiction

New member
May 20, 2009
123
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0
people need to stop complaining about the hype its received after a friend of mine replayed it late 2009 we started talking about it again it was still good
Everyone seems to think that its charm wears because of all of the net jokes floatin' around but I first played it early 2009 and loved it...
Same thing with another friend of mine who has had to live with all of us talking about it before he even played it still loved it.
The story is there if you want it... seriously it is.
The atmosphere is great the jokes are funny...
The puzzles were good BUT your right it isnt for everyone. like all good games there are a lot of people with fond memories of it! who cares if its not replayable! I'll remember my sparse hours with portal more than my not so sparse ;] hours of cod or halo

Nice review though, because man im not having a go at you just putting another opinion out there.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
PoisonUnagi said:
Something tells me you're just not into puzzle games. Saying that completing the puzzles is just as useful as planting crops in FarmVille is like saying that living a life is just as important as throwing rocks at a brick wall. You have to appreciate something for what it is, rather than ***** about how it never accomplishes anything.

(I liked Portal alot, but I do agree about the overrated-ness)
The puzzles themselves are not challenging, or indeed that inventive as they could have done so much more with the portal gun, but above all there was no drive to do them. Apart from, that is, to get to the next one which is why I made the comparison.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Uhm, what games have you thought were as great as you were told Portal was?

Is this another, it's cool to hate on things people love review?

Portal wasn't a full game, portal had a lot of glitches on the PC and Mac.

Portal was just like.... well.... no other game was much like Portal, right?

Where can I find people that review games on this website? It seems everyone wants to make a place for themselves by being outrageous like Yahtzee. Does anyone review games without trying to step up on a soap box and fight the reasons why so many others like a game?

I know you are all entitled to your opinions, much like I am. But does anyone actually just review games anymore? Or is all about the shock value, and being a hater? Why can't people just state objectively what a game has, and what it doesn't? Why all the personality?

I would rather read a description of what a game has, then what people think is wrong and bad based on some silly pre-madonna thoughts.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Sober Thal said:
Uhm, what games have you thought were as great as you were told Portal was?

Is this another, it's cool to hate on things people love review?

Portal wasn't a full game, portal had a lot of glitches on the PC and Mac.

Portal was just like.... well.... no other game was much like Portal, right?

Where can I find people that review games on this website? It seems everyone wants to make a place for themselves by being outrageous like Yahtzee. Does anyone review games without trying to step up on a soap box and fight the reasons why so many others like a game?

I know you are all entitled to your opinions, much like I am. But does anyone actually just review games anymore? Or is all about the shock value, and being a hater? Why can't people just state objectively what a game has, and what it doesn't? Why all the personality?

I would rather read a description of what a game has, then what people think is wrong and bad based on some silly pre-madonna thoughts.
I think what you are looking for is a summary, reviews inject thoughts and opinion on the matter and pick out the things that the reviewer thinks is important. If I were to write out the features of this game while saying "blah blah blah is good, blah blah blah is not so good" it would turn the review into a check-list and, more importantly, make it boring.

People like yourself are very eager to bring out the "you're copying Yatzee" card whenever you see a review that you think contradicts popular opinion. Which this doesn't might I add, I did not say Portal was bad, but I said it wasn't fantastic. The thing is, is that I've been typing up reviews for a while now and I am nothing but myself when I do so. So it's really quite insulting when you tell me that I am simply another hater. Have you ever read any of my other reviews?

For you, I would highly reckomend Wikipedia as your review site of choice.
 

Miumaru

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May 5, 2010
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Sure it is trivial, but it stuck out. The game came out in 2007. So at most you have not played it in 2 years. Just makes saying Hevent played in years" sound a bit much.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Sober Thal said:
Uhm, what games have you thought were as great as you were told Portal was?

Is this another, it's cool to hate on things people love review?

Portal wasn't a full game, portal had a lot of glitches on the PC and Mac.

Portal was just like.... well.... no other game was much like Portal, right?

Where can I find people that review games on this website? It seems everyone wants to make a place for themselves by being outrageous like Yahtzee. Does anyone review games without trying to step up on a soap box and fight the reasons why so many others like a game?

I know you are all entitled to your opinions, much like I am. But does anyone actually just review games anymore? Or is all about the shock value, and being a hater? Why can't people just state objectively what a game has, and what it doesn't? Why all the personality?

I would rather read a description of what a game has, then what people think is wrong and bad based on some silly pre-madonna thoughts.
I think what you are looking for is a summary, reviews inject thoughts and opinion on the matter and pick out the things that the reviewer thinks is important. If I were to write out the features of this game while saying "blah blah blah is good, blah blah blah is not so good" it would turn the review into a check-list and, more importantly, make it boring.

People like yourself are very eager to bring out the "you're copying Yatzee" card whenever you see a review that you think contradicts popular opinion. Which this doesn't might I add, I did not say Portal was bad, but I said it wasn't fantastic. The thing is, is that I've been typing up reviews for a while now and I am nothing but myself when I do so. So it's really quite insulting when you tell me that I am simply another hater. Have you ever read any of my other reviews?

For you, I would highly recommend Wikipedia as your review site of choice.
I didn't mean for you take what I said so personally, sorry about that.

I seriously wanted my questions answered. A 'review' might be just one individuals rant to you, but I thought they were supposed to be less biased, child like, and more informative.

I will say it again since you missed it the first time: you are all entitled to your opinions.

I was asking about real reviews, not opinionated rants. But since you say WIKI has what I am asking about, I guess I will look to them. Sorry for wasting your time.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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Sober Thal said:
I didn't mean for you take what I said so personally, sorry about that.

I seriously wanted my questions answered. A 'review' might be just one individuals rant to you, but I thought they were supposed to be less biased, child like, and more informative.

I will say it again since you missed it the first time: you are all entitled to your opinions.

I was asking about real reviews, not opinionated rants. But since you say WIKI has what I am asking about, I guess I will look to them. Sorry for wasting your time.
Remember, this is the User Reviews section so what is seen as a review will change from person to person. What you see as a "real review", I see as lazy and boring. You can get information from the internet; arguments and opinions are something that can only be decided by the individual and take time.

On the issue of "less biased and child like", I have no idea where they came from. Are you saying that everyone who writes down an opinion is child like and biased?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Sober Thal said:
I didn't mean for you take what I said so personally, sorry about that.

I seriously wanted my questions answered. A 'review' might be just one individuals rant to you, but I thought they were supposed to be less biased, child like, and more informative.

I will say it again since you missed it the first time: you are all entitled to your opinions.

I was asking about real reviews, not opinionated rants. But since you say WIKI has what I am asking about, I guess I will look to them. Sorry for wasting your time.
Remember, this is the User Reviews section so what is seen as a review will change from person to person. What you see as a "real review", I see as lazy and boring. You can get information from the internet; arguments and opinions are something that can only be decided by the individual and take time.

On the issue of "less biased and child like", I have no idea where they came from. Are you saying that everyone who writes down an opinion is child like and biased?
Child like, no... biased yes, again, I have been an ass by disagreeing so vehemently on 'reviews' before, so I don't want to make this out like what I'm saying is directed at you per say....

I still argue that a review is more than an individuals gripes and complaints.

But that is wrong as far what most people say on this site. So again, I am just being a fool for asking for something other than what is expected from this thread. This whole section is about individuals opinions on what they think games are. I want to find honest reviews, but like you said, I will have to look to WIKI to find that.

This is not because I disagree with you, this is because I want to find something I can relate to. I have no gripe with you, or any other person that posts in this section. I just want to find something different than edgy opinions based on the idea that what the masses have declared good, we will say is bad.

I honestly don't think a review should say something is either good nor bad, it should just state what it is. Anything else is just an opinion piece, or a rant. But I am in the minority on this, so please don't bother trying to justify yourself for me, I am not worth it.
 

blankedboy

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Feb 7, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
PoisonUnagi said:
Something tells me you're just not into puzzle games. Saying that completing the puzzles is just as useful as planting crops in FarmVille is like saying that living a life is just as important as throwing rocks at a brick wall. You have to appreciate something for what it is, rather than ***** about how it never accomplishes anything.

(I liked Portal alot, but I do agree about the overrated-ness)
The puzzles themselves are not challenging, or indeed that inventive as they could have done so much more with the portal gun, but above all there was no drive to do them. Apart from, that is, to get to the next one which is why I made the comparison.
Same with every game, ever made, ever.
What's your point?
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
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PoisonUnagi said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
PoisonUnagi said:
Something tells me you're just not into puzzle games. Saying that completing the puzzles is just as useful as planting crops in FarmVille is like saying that living a life is just as important as throwing rocks at a brick wall. You have to appreciate something for what it is, rather than ***** about how it never accomplishes anything.

(I liked Portal alot, but I do agree about the overrated-ness)
The puzzles themselves are not challenging, or indeed that inventive as they could have done so much more with the portal gun, but above all there was no drive to do them. Apart from, that is, to get to the next one which is why I made the comparison.
Same with every game, ever made, ever.
What's your point?
Not at all, I'm saying that there was no drive for me to complete portal. A drive that is present in many games, for example Bioshock. I guess it's a question of immersion. In Portal I was not "immersed".
 

blankedboy

New member
Feb 7, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
PoisonUnagi said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
PoisonUnagi said:
Something tells me you're just not into puzzle games. Saying that completing the puzzles is just as useful as planting crops in FarmVille is like saying that living a life is just as important as throwing rocks at a brick wall. You have to appreciate something for what it is, rather than ***** about how it never accomplishes anything.

(I liked Portal alot, but I do agree about the overrated-ness)
The puzzles themselves are not challenging, or indeed that inventive as they could have done so much more with the portal gun, but above all there was no drive to do them. Apart from, that is, to get to the next one which is why I made the comparison.
Same with every game, ever made, ever.
What's your point?
Not at all, I'm saying that there was no drive for me to complete portal. A drive that is present in many games, for example Bioshock. I guess it's a question of immersion. In Portal I was not "immersed".
Huh, I found BioShock to have bugger-all immersion, but ok.
 

SonicKoala

The Night Zombie
Sep 8, 2009
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One thing I noticed which was probably pointed out already - the no fall damage is on account of the springs attached to your character's feet, which are easily visible if you look at yourself through a portal.

And, although your review was well written, I completely disagree with practically everything you said. You keep saying that they could have done "so much more" with the portal gun - like what, exactly? But anyway, that's speaking as someone who felt that the puzzles in the game were presented with enough variation so as not to feel repetitive.

I also disagree with your claim that there's no story - there is a story, it's just extremely subtle. As was the case with Half-Life, little to nothing is explained to you directly, and you just have to piece together what's going on via the clues present in your surroundings, a method of storytelling I'm quite fond of. Granted, it's not very complex (quite the opposite, in fact), but the presentation of it all was flawless.

As for the humour, I felt that was a nice touch to the game - it made it stand out, and it added an essential layer of light-heartedness that would have been lacking in the cold, sterile rooms of the Aperture Science test labs. But then again, this is all based on opinion - for me, Portal felt like a concentrated injection of pure, untainted video game awesomeness.
 

Woodsey

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Aug 9, 2009
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"I would liken the puzzles in this game to the ever-hated Farmville. While Farmville may not contain any puzzles the reason you complete the puzzles in Portal is for the same reason you plant crops. The puzzles in Portal are neither that challenging or, indeed, fun."

I always found the puzzles hit a fine balance of being challenging enough to make you think - and make you feel clever when you complete them - but not so challenging that you're unlikely to see the end game.

I also think you're "missing the point" of puzzles: I can't say I know anyone who does puzzles or plays puzzle games because they're fun. I never found Portal particularly fun, but I still find it so very good.

Hell, I don't find most games fun, but then I've come to realise that I don't play games for fun (nor do most people it would seem); we play them for the experience, to do something we could never do.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Woodsey said:
I also think you're "missing the point" of puzzles: I can't say I know anyone who does puzzles or plays puzzle games because they're fun. I never found Portal particularly fun, but I still find it so very good.

Hell, I don't find most games fun, but then I've come to realise that I don't play games for fun (nor do most people it would seem); we play them for the experience, to do something we could never do.
To quote myself: 'But then a review suggesting that this game is bad will be dismissed as simply "wrong" with phrases like "you just don't get it"'

I have to disagree with you on the "experience" front, most do play games for fun or even just for the escapism but when it comes to puzzles you want to feel rewarded, a feeling I seem to have missed out on.
 

Samurai Goomba

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Oct 7, 2008
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The humor of Portal is indeed brilliant, but I'd like to join the group who declare the gameplay to be kinda fiddly and not always tons of fun. I mean, it is fun most of the time, but there are frustrating and needlessly obtuse puzzle mechanics. The prime example being shooting through portals in order to build up speed, then firing another portal at a different spot and sending yourself flying across a gap/wherever. There are a number of ways this can be frustrating for the wrong reasons:

1. Portals do not have a uniform circle shape. You can think you're going to enter one as you're falling from 3 stories towards it, but instead get caught on a lower or upper edge and have to do the entire puzzle over.
2. A lot of the portal puzzles involve serious jerking around of the camera, to the point where I start to feel slightly motion sick. Just an option for 3rd person might have seriously helped with this. Third person views are a lot closer to what the average human being has with peripheral vision. I'm just saying the choice would have been nice.
3. A lot of the puzzles, even the fairly complex ones, are of the "get it in one go or start over from the beginning" variety. This gets old.

Again, it's a good game, but these were some problems I had with the design.
 

captainwolfos

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Feb 14, 2009
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Yeah, I played it after buying the Orange Box for PS3, and after getting the Portal gun with both portals I just played with it for a few hours. With that out of the way, it boiled down to about an hour's worth of extended playtime until I finished it.
It was massively overhyped; it's good for the amount that's there, but that doesn't make it directly descended from the heavens themselves.

I mostly only got the game for TF2, anyway. I played Portal because it was on it, but Team Fortress 2 holds my heart.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Captain_Maku said:
Yeah, I played it after buying the Orange Box for PS3, and after getting the Portal gun with both portals I just played with it for a few hours. With that out of the way, it boiled down to about an hour's worth of extended playtime until I finished it.
It was massively overhyped; it's good for the amount that's there, but that doesn't make it directly descended from the heavens themselves.

I mostly only got the game for TF2, anyway. I played Portal because it was on it, but Team Fortress 2 holds my heart.
If you really love TF2 I reckomend getting it on PC. I've heard wonders about how generous Valve have been with the updates.
 

captainwolfos

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Feb 14, 2009
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Captain_Maku said:
Yeah, I played it after buying the Orange Box for PS3, and after getting the Portal gun with both portals I just played with it for a few hours. With that out of the way, it boiled down to about an hour's worth of extended playtime until I finished it.
It was massively overhyped; it's good for the amount that's there, but that doesn't make it directly descended from the heavens themselves.

I mostly only got the game for TF2, anyway. I played Portal because it was on it, but Team Fortress 2 holds my heart.
If you really love TF2 I reckomend getting it on PC. I've heard wonders about how generous Valve have been with the updates.
I'm working on that, believe it or not XD My computer's hardware is embarassingly ancient, and the times I've tried installing it have all been failed experiments. Until I FINALLY get my freaking laptop back, I have to stick with the PS3 version.