50 Reviews :: Portal :: and blasphemy

Feb 13, 2008
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Anyone who liked Portal really has to give Paranoia a try.

GLADos is your friend. Keep Your PortalGun Handy. Happiness is Mandatory.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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Payne121 said:
Anchor man is bad, as are most movies with Will Ferrel.
Um... good for you? Do you have anything relevant to state?

The_root_of_all_evil said:
Anyone who liked Portal really has to give Paranoia a try.

GLADos is your friend. Keep Your PortalGun Handy. Happiness is Mandatory.
Haha I might check that out, is it only similar because of the computer "overlord"? Or does it incorporate humour at all?

Oh by the way, very nice avatar. But as we all know that as long as you are near a rift in time, you're fine.
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,430
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Stranger of Sorts said:
Haha I might check that out, is it only similar because of the computer "overlord"? Or does it incorporate humour at all?
Basically, the entire setting is an Orwellian nightmare crossed with the Marx Brothers. Everyone is incompetent, lazy and overworked; while the ruler is a paranoid, megalomaniacal child.
Run by a good GM, you will be equally afraid of doing nothing and doing something.
Oh by the way, very nice avatar. But as we all know that as long as you are near a rift in time, you're fine.
Ta :) But that's a very odd definition of "fine" that you choose...
 

MrGFunk

New member
Oct 29, 2008
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0
BlueInkAlchemist said:
The way Portal is set up, going any longer than it did would have undercut the novelty of it. It was pitched, paced and framed perfectly, and that contributes to its huge success.

Doug Lombardi has said "Portal was a test bed. Portal 2 is the game."

I, for one, can't wait.

Nicely done on the review, Stranger.
Man, that makes me want it even more. Guess I'll be returning to the Mac roots if it's not coming out on PS3 though.
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
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scobie said:
-god almighty snip-
Why has everyone been picking up on Anchorman? That was just supposed to represent a random funny movie to prove that Portal is not the best comedy out there. But NOOOO now I am to be judged for it.

But otherwise I get what you're going at. I did kind of contradict myself in the next paragraph by the way by saying that the lack of story was a positive. I'm going to call it Homeric hypocrisy. (i.e it was deliberate... kinda)
 
Feb 13, 2008
19,430
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Gamemaster: You're in a long dungeon
hallway with a dirt floor, stone walls
and an arching stone ceiling. There are
burning torches in wall sconces every 10
feet. You see one door.
Warrior player: What colour is the
stone?
GM: Sort of orange.
Rogue player: Aah! I'm only Clearance
RED! Get me out of here!
Priest player: I'm casting Mass RAISE
Security Clearance to make us all
ORANGE. [Passes note to the GM: 'I'm
also casting Subvert to Communism on
the warrior.']
Wizard player: I'm using the Gem
of Memory to document the priest's
spellcasting. I, uh, may want to study his
technique later.
Priest: Of course, of course. [Looks
significantly at the rogue, whom he
subverted earlier. The rogue nods and
passes a note to the GM. The GM rolls a
20-sided die (1d20).]
GM: All right. You're all ORANGE for the
moment and can pass safely down the
hallway. Your orders, you recall, were
to investigate the door. [Passes note to
warrior: 'You feel a strange, treasonous
impulse to overthrow the existing social
order and restore power to the people.']
Warrior [Gulps]: Come, Comra - fellow
heroes, let us break down the door!
Wizard: Wait! Did you almost call us
'Comrades'? That's a Commie word!
Priest: Of course he didn't. I heard
nothing of the sort.
Rogue: Nor I. Are you levelling false
accusations against our leader? That's
treason.
Wizard: Don't anybody move! I'm not
only levelling accusations, I'm levelling
my Wand of Fireballs against all three of
these traitors. By the way, I'm recording all
of this with the Gem of Memory.
GM: When you reach for it, you notice
the Gem is missing.
Rogue: Uh-oh! You've lost a valuable
magical item. That'll mean a heavy fine
at the guildhall.
Wizard: I'm firing a fireball at all of
them!
GM [Rolls a 20-sided die]: I'm sorry, it
appears your experimental Wand of
Fireballs has backfired. In a trice you are
immolated in a ball of flame. Fortunately
the fire is orange, so at least your charred
body hasn't breached its proper Security
Clearance. Scratch one wizard. Your next
simulacrum has been dispatched from
the guildhall and should arrive shortly.
Wizard: You bastards are gonna pay.
GM: No comments from the currently
dead, please. Suddenly the door opens. A
huge hobgoblin in leather armour stands
there with his broadsword drawn. On his
chest you see the mark of a silver hand.
Rogue: I attack him with -
Warrior: Wait! I wave my fingers at him
from under my chin.
Priest and rogue: What?
GM: The hobgoblin nods at your
recognition signal and lowers his sword.
He waves you all inside. Who's going in
first?
Warrior, priest and rogue [Pointing at
each other]: Him!

Borrowed wholesale from the XP rulebook
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Gamemaster: You're in a long dungeon
hallway with a dirt floor, stone walls
and an arching stone ceiling. There are
burning torches in wall sconces every 10
feet. You see one door.
Warrior player: What colour is the
stone?
GM: Sort of orange.
Rogue player: Aah! I'm only Clearance
RED! Get me out of here!
Priest player: I'm casting Mass RAISE
Security Clearance to make us all
ORANGE. [Passes note to the GM: 'I'm
also casting Subvert to Communism on
the warrior.']
Wizard player: I'm using the Gem
of Memory to document the priest's
spellcasting. I, uh, may want to study his
technique later.
Priest: Of course, of course. [Looks
significantly at the rogue, whom he
subverted earlier. The rogue nods and
passes a note to the GM. The GM rolls a
20-sided die (1d20).]
GM: All right. You're all ORANGE for the
moment and can pass safely down the
hallway. Your orders, you recall, were
to investigate the door. [Passes note to
warrior: 'You feel a strange, treasonous
impulse to overthrow the existing social
order and restore power to the people.']
Warrior [Gulps]: Come, Comra - fellow
heroes, let us break down the door!
Wizard: Wait! Did you almost call us
'Comrades'? That's a Commie word!
Priest: Of course he didn't. I heard
nothing of the sort.
Rogue: Nor I. Are you levelling false
accusations against our leader? That's
treason.
Wizard: Don't anybody move! I'm not
only levelling accusations, I'm levelling
my Wand of Fireballs against all three of
these traitors. By the way, I'm recording all
of this with the Gem of Memory.
GM: When you reach for it, you notice
the Gem is missing.
Rogue: Uh-oh! You've lost a valuable
magical item. That'll mean a heavy fine
at the guildhall.
Wizard: I'm firing a fireball at all of
them!
GM [Rolls a 20-sided die]: I'm sorry, it
appears your experimental Wand of
Fireballs has backfired. In a trice you are
immolated in a ball of flame. Fortunately
the fire is orange, so at least your charred
body hasn't breached its proper Security
Clearance. Scratch one wizard. Your next
simulacrum has been dispatched from
the guildhall and should arrive shortly.
Wizard: You bastards are gonna pay.
GM: No comments from the currently
dead, please. Suddenly the door opens. A
huge hobgoblin in leather armour stands
there with his broadsword drawn. On his
chest you see the mark of a silver hand.
Rogue: I attack him with -
Warrior: Wait! I wave my fingers at him
from under my chin.
Priest and rogue: What?
GM: The hobgoblin nods at your
recognition signal and lowers his sword.
He waves you all inside. Who's going in
first?
Warrior, priest and rogue [Pointing at
each other]: Him!

Borrowed wholesale from the XP rulebook
Sounds... interesting to say the least.

Heart of Darkness said:
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
It did didn't it? But hey I'm not complaining. Glad to hear that my review is still standing with only minor chainsaw wounds.

Ah you're 5 hours behind me. 8.14 is not nearly as special.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Wow, this thread exploded fast.

Anyways, I find that I agree with you on a lot of points. I didn't play Portal until last December, and I actually found the game to be pretty "meh" up until you had to escape the giant pit of fire. At that point, it started to get a little better, but it still wasn't the best game I've played, nor did it live up to its hype. It could've also been to where I played it and to my laptops fantastic ability to stall while playing Portal (which shouldn't happen with a 2009 model...), and then you have the reason for why I didn't really like Portal all that much.

As far as as the review itself, you seem to have your commas under control (but they do escape in some places, like forgetting to put one after "for example"). Nothing else really jumped out at me, except for you using "viscously" when you should use "viciously," so for the most part, good job.

And congrats on 50 reviews, by the way. You've written ten-fold more than I have.

EDIT: Also, I posted on pi time (EST) in a review about a game that promises cake. There's something to be said about this here, I just know it!
It did didn't it? But hey I'm not complaining. Glad to hear that my review is still standing with only minor chainsaw wounds.

Ah you're 5 hours behind me. 8.14 is not nearly as special.
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
Not when you abbreviate it wrong, it's not... Besides, EST is where all the cool people hang out.

AND I AM THE LEAD WEIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS! Wait...
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
Heart of Darkness said:
Hey, if I didn't play the game, it probably would've torn into your review. Since I have my own opinion on this, however, I'm more interested in comparing opinions than reading with a critical eye toward grammar. Or maybe I turned it off for this momentous(?) occasion.

Also, damn Greenwich Mean Time...
GTM is the best time. Fact.

I was beginning to feel fulfilled there, good thing you bought me back to reality. That was close!
Not when you abbreviate it wrong, it's not... Besides, EST is where all the cool people hang out.

AND I AM THE LEAD WEIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS! Wait...
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
LordCuthberton said:
I too, found the entire Orange Box poor. Nothing really worked.

Then my disk shattered in my drive. BURRRRRR.
Now I wouldn't say the entire Orange Box was poor. Overall it was extremely good value, that is if your disc does not break.
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
Um...yeah, let's go with that.
>.>
.>

And don't worry, you'll be able to take a chainsaw to me soon enough.
.>
<.<
 

Stranger of Sorts

Individual #472
Aug 23, 2009
1,227
0
0
Heart of Darkness said:
Stranger of Sorts said:
OH GOD I'M SO SLIGHTLY UNNERVED!

Um... yeh that was embarrassing. There's a show called GMTV so I'm going to hold that as an excuse because I typed 3/4 of its title "subliminally".
Um...yeah, let's go with that.
>.>
.>

And don't worry, you'll be able to take a chainsaw to me soon enough.
.>
<.<
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
 

Heart of Darkness

The final days of His Trolliness
Jul 1, 2009
9,745
0
0
Stranger of Sorts said:
I will be sure to revel in the experience.

>.<
I'm going to chart out our conversation:

Normal --> Silly --> Strange --> Disturbing.

Does that sound about right?
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
9,909
0
0
I think you missed the point that Portal is tied into the Half Life mythology and referanced within the game. One of the first things "Orange Box" buyers was told was to play through Portal first so they would get the referances.

Understand that Half-Life is pretty much a phenomena, Gordan Freeman is an iconic character to gaming, arguably Half-Life is what made Valve which has been one of the champions of throw downs like March Madness.

I think this is an aspect of the success of Portal that is missed, especially since it was done well. Portal DOES stand alone fairly well, but also understand that the game is aging, and as you pointed out a lot of the humor has been beaten into the ground. Especially on the latter case it's going to influance reviews from people that were jaded to every moment of awesome in the game before they even played.

Such are my thoughts.