6 Reasons the Left Behind Books Suck (And Why the Movie Might, Too)

Phil Owen

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6 Reasons the Left Behind Books Suck (And Why the Movie Might, Too)

Sure, they're touted as best-selling novels, but the Left Behind books -- and maybe this week's movie release -- just aren't very good.

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Queen Michael

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I found the first book in my local library. Here's a fun drinking game: Take a drink every time somebody doesn't act particularly upset that all of the world's children have gone away.
 

And Man

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I haven't read the books, but I disagree with the reasoning for your first point. Unless I misunderstood your point, it's pretty much explained by Dunbar's Number (otherwise known as the Monkeysphere). I know that if the world was ending, I would only care about what was happening to friends and family, not complete strangers.
 

Elijah Newton

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Wait, what? A new movie, with Nick Cage?

*blink blink* I'm startled the one with Kirk Cameron wasn't enough to do in the idea, is all. 'Cos I don't think it was a blazing success, exactly.
 

Coreless

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Ughhh... reading through your article just makes me disgusted by this kind of obsession with death cult literature. To think there are people wishing and hoping for this to happen just completely boggles my mind. I remember going home for a holiday years ago and seeing on my father's dresser one of the left behind books, it literally made me feel sick thinking he might actually hope for this kind of thing to happen or possibly fantasize about it.

I understand peoples desire to want to believe in a deity and live the best possible life they can but all this dwelling on death and end times... is just looney.
 

Something Amyss

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1. The good guys are actually just assholes
It's Christian Apocalypse porn. I'm pretty sure this is intentional. I'm pretty sure the intended market (remember, folks, #notallchristians) identify with these folks.

4. Satan is a total goon
Pretty much expected in the literature.

I would think the big one is really how poorly written they are. I'll have to take the listmaker's word that the books get better, but as he also points out, it's not worth the slog. I read a couple, and while it may get better, I'm not even sure I could be bothered with reading book 10 without the continuity and I know I couldn't be bothered to read the earlier ones. Still, even if it gets good later, it's awful early on. I think I've seen first graders write better.
 

bificommander

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If you need more than 6 reasons why the Left Behind books suck, try http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/tag/left-behind/ This guy has been spending 10 years detailing page-by-page why Left Behind fails at every level. He's only at book 3 now. Unfortunately, there are some "gaps" in the archive of his earlier posts, but hey, there's plenty to read anyway.
 

TiberiusEsuriens

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They already made this series 3 movies, and I readily predict that this time it will be the exact same drull thing, only with Nicholas Cage as the star. At least Cage is a talented actor - at least incredibly more so that Kirk Cameron.
 

Something Amyss

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Coreless said:
Ughhh... reading through your article just makes me disgusted by this kind of obsession with death cult literature. To think there are people wishing and hoping for this to happen just completely boggles my mind. I remember going home for a holiday years ago and seeing on my father's dresser one of the left behind books, it literally made me feel sick thinking he might actually hope for this kind of thing to happen or possibly fantasize about it.

I understand peoples desire to want to believe in a deity and live the best possible life they can but all this dwelling on death and end times... is just looney.
What's the point of being a kind, loving, compassionate and caring person if you don't get the satisfaction of knowing everyone else is going to suffer?
 

Red Panda

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It's a damn shame they wasted Nick Cage on Rayford Steele. Nicholas Cage does one things good, and that is crazy. How they didn't get him to play the anti christ I will never know. It blows my mind the missed opportunity. It could have been the best comedy of the year, nick hamming it up to the 9's as the antichrist. What a waste. :(
 

jabrwock

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I couldn't finish the first book. The main character being an unlikeable but yet boring-as-paint ass, and the rest of the book being "hee hee, look at the unbelievers get their comeuppance" just turned me off.

It felt like Twilight. A summer fluff fanfiction novel written over the course of a weekend that was way overhyped and blew up in to a massive bestseller series being milked for all it's worth, propped up mostly by the people who liked the concept rather than the actual execution.
 

Covarr

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And Man said:
I haven't read the books, but I disagree with the reasoning for your first point. Unless I misunderstood your point, it's pretty much explained by Dunbar's Number (otherwise known as the Monkeysphere). I know that if the world was ending, I would only care about what was happening to friends and family, not complete strangers.
The issue here isn't just that they aren't sad for them, but that there's a very unchristian "serves 'em right" way of thinking about it. Apathy would be an improvement.

Really, this attitude is at the core of a lot of the problems with the series. See, this seems to be the mindset of the writers themselves, and it comes across as snobby and elitist as a result. It also creates a bizarre dichotomic writing style, first assuming the audience already agrees with the message being preached, and then preaching it to them anyway. At best, it's a giant circlejerk, and at worst, it's presumptive, redundant, and wasteful, and interferes with the narrative.

P.S. Thanks
 

BrotherRool

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I read the books when I was younger and naively believed that everything in a Christian bookshop was at least theologically sound (if not well written).

Oh boy did I learn my lesson. If these guys had their way Jesus would have beaten the shit out of the Romans who tried to arrest him and then he'd have told Mary that women who leave the kitchen don't get to go to heaven unless they're banging him.

The books are just a list of the people the authors hate and guys who gloat over them. They're written by people who have so much contempt for the other people around them that they can't actually believe that they're capable of thought. That's why we get nurses saying things like 'I'm so sad all the children are gone, because now I can't have any abortions'. I'm not even making a joke, someone literally says that.

The funny thing is, as much scorn as they pour onto the world, they're completely of it. They're main author insert protagonist has to be the most manly man, he has to get the women, be the alpha male and prove his superiority to someone. He can't be wussy or intellectual because that's not what a Man does.


The books actually really challenged me, because I don't want to hate anyone, but it's really hard to like the authors at all. It sickens me that there are Christians who are being misled into reading the books thinking that that's a good thing for them to be doing
 

Not G. Ivingname

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Wait, THAT is the poster? That really bad photoshop job where Nicholas Cage's barely looks like it belongs to that body, or the crappy looking burning city behind them?

I have a bad feeling about this one...
 

Steve the Pocket

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Wait, this is a real thing that's happening? Why? The first attempt at a film adaptation failed after only the third movie, so why did anyone think there was money in this? And Nicholas Cage??? Look, say what you will about Kirk Cameron's acting skills; at least it made sense why he ended up in it. Why would Cage or any other mainstream Hollywood actor want to touch this with a ten foot pole? Speaking of bad acting skills, though, I look forward to seeing him alternate between being conspicuously bored that he has to come in to work again today and acting like he just did a load of cocaine, like he always does. It might actually make this version interesting.

Phil Owen said:
First is the amazing Satanist conspiracy that created him by artificially inseminating an asexual woman with the combo sperm of two gay men (all three of whom are atheist academics who work at a university).
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha what the fuck. Even compared to what little I still remember about the series, that's fucking nuts. I'm almost sorry I stopped reading them.

piscian said:
I'm a huge fan of Stephen King's "the langoliers" and when Left Behind came out I was pretty open to the idea, it saddens me greatly that they could take an idea like that and just turn it into devotee fodder.

I think it could have been a cool story if someone not so entrenched in the christian law of "hey lets sell people on going christian by only publishing material catering to people already obsessed with how christian they are."
I would like to point you in the direction of The Leftovers, a book that sounds like a parody but apparently just has a stupid name, that apparently does what you're describing. The "rapture" in question isn't even; it's just some mysterious mass disappearance that they never explain. They've also turned it into a show on HBO that wrapped up its first season recently.
 

And Man

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Covarr said:
And Man said:
I haven't read the books, but I disagree with the reasoning for your first point. Unless I misunderstood your point, it's pretty much explained by Dunbar's Number (otherwise known as the Monkeysphere). I know that if the world was ending, I would only care about what was happening to friends and family, not complete strangers.
The issue here isn't just that they aren't sad for them, but that there's a very unchristian "serves 'em right" way of thinking about it. Apathy would be an improvement.

Really, this attitude is at the core of a lot of the problems with the series. See, this seems to be the mindset of the writers themselves, and it comes across as snobby and elitist as a result. It also creates a bizarre dichotomic writing style, first assuming the audience already agrees with the message being preached, and then preaching it to them anyway. At best, it's a giant circlejerk, and at worst, it's presumptive, redundant, and wasteful, and interferes with the narrative.

P.S. Thanks
Ah, okay. Yeah, that makes more sense then.
 

nyarlathotepsama

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Argh... I have a friend that loves these books. He doesn't believe in actual Christianity anymore but instead in the fake system from a series of novels. I think it is a step in the right direction, since at least these were written in the last century and are classified properly as fiction. Unlike certain sacred texts I could mention *cough* all of them *cough*.

I've read most of them and I can safely say they aren't worse than other religion based fiction novels I've read and that there are a few okay ideas in there. Other than that stay far, far away from these if you respect sanity, honesty and good storytelling. They've made literally millions upon millions from these and you gotta respect, begrudging or not, any one that can make that kind of money selling novels these days. I might not like them but darn if they don't print money.
 

ephesus64

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I read a few pages into the first book as a teenager (and a member of a denomination which went in for a lot of the shaky theology in the books), and I remember being totally underwhelmed by the writing. "Disaster porn" for Christians about sums it up.

I'd like to thank the author and the above posters for being more charitable than I might have been, and for mostly avoiding religion bashing. That leaves a lot more space for an honest assessment of the real issue for me, which is the tragic lack of self-awareness and literary quality (even for the mass market paperback market) it showed.

I wish that bits and pieces of the Christian tradition I honor wasn't clumsily mixed in with this dreck so that I could more easily enjoy it for what it is--National Treasure 4: Finding Jesus.

Edit: spoke too soon on the lack of religion bashing. Oh well.