Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Musical Is $60 Million Down The Drain

Elizabeth Grunewald

The Pope of Chilitown
Oct 4, 2010
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Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Musical Is $60 Million Down The Drain

Vogue interviewed director Julie Taymor (The Lion King) about Spider-man: Turn Off The Dark, all but guarantees that the musical will be a disaster of epic proportions.

Vogue recently published an article about Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark, and what they reveal is more worrisome than enticing. The musical has been plagued with injuries, budget meltdowns, and repetitions of "why the hell are you making a musical about Spider-Man?" but the photos released to accompany Vogue's piece manage to trump all previous woes.

[gallery=53]

The photos, some of the first to feature the main actors in costume, were taken by famed photographer Annie Leibovitz. (Note that, as this is a Vogue photoshoot, Jennifer Damiano, who plays Mary Jane, is in couture, rather than in costume.) The costume and design details revealed in the photos lead me to believe that the show will be a bloated, overproduced mess. As the show currently has a running budget of $60 million, I may not be too far off with my assessment.

The accompanying article doesn't fill me with any more confidence: author Adam Green mentions that the choreographer "is working with a group of arachno-chorus girls, who, requiring eight stiletto heels each, could be described as unusually leggy." Pun aside, eight-legged chorus girls make me think of a nightmare with good production values. The entire saga of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark was beautifully summed up by Taymor herself: "I know it's too much, but is that bad? Seriously, if you don't want to do something ambitious that's never been seen before, why do you bother?"

Source: Vogue [http://www.vogue.com/magazine/article/ka-pow-spider-man-turn-off-the-dark/]

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Z of the Na'vi

Born with one kidney.
Apr 27, 2009
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....is that...Carnage I see back there? How can they mess up Carnage of all villains? I....wha....guh.....

I'm going to go lie down now.
 

Fetzenfisch

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Sep 11, 2009
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hahaha this will be awesome.Not "The Evil Dead: the Musical" awesome , but at least "oh my got thats so bad" awesome
 

AndyFromMonday

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Feb 5, 2009
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Seriously, a musical about Spider-Man? It was a horrible idea to start with. At least now we got the confirmation that it's going to be absolute and utter shit.
 

qbanknight

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Apr 15, 2009
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What in the bloody high holy hell is this sin-against-God? Man people are gonna be pissed at this shit
 

Exterminas

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Sep 22, 2009
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Oh, hey, chill out people. Musicals don't have to be bad. Lion King was fun, Sweeny Todd was alright. So why this? To quote Mister Burns:

"A musical about a doll? Proposterous! Why not one about the common cat, or the king of Siam!"
 

Z of the Na'vi

Born with one kidney.
Apr 27, 2009
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Canid117 said:
Z of the Na said:
....is that...Carnage I see back there? How can they mess up Carnage of all villains?
Easy

Stephanie Meyerize him.
Those...bastards!



One does not turn Carnage into something that is remotely relative to her! How dare they do this to the personification of badass that is Carnage! No wonder people aren't supporting this musical if this is what is happening to the characters.
 

MarsProbe

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Dec 13, 2008
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SaturdayS said:
I love bright colors! I'm already sold on seeing this film.
You do know this isn't a film right? Still, film/musical, it would likely still be awful.
 

twm1709

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Nov 19, 2009
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what the hell is that tin-woman thing in the first picture?! with those cone-like boobs O_OJ!!!
 

Canid117

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Oct 6, 2009
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Z of the Na said:
Canid117 said:
Z of the Na said:
....is that...Carnage I see back there? How can they mess up Carnage of all villains?
Easy

Stephanie Meyerize him.
Those...bastards!



One does not turn Carnage into something that is remotely relative to her! How dare they do this to the personification of badass that is Carnage! No wonder people aren't supporting this musical if this is what is happening to the characters.
I don't know for sure thats whats going to happen but I do know he is going to be singing and dancing in what looks like a somewhat sparkly outfit.
 

SaturdayS

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Nov 8, 2010
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MarsProbe said:
SaturdayS said:
I love bright colors! I'm already sold on seeing this film.
You do know this isn't a film right? Still, film/musical, it would likely still be awful.
Err,,, that's what I meant...yah. It would have to be converted to film for me to have a decent chance to see it.
 

maddog015

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Sep 12, 2008
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Wow. Just wow.

Can anyone say 1-week run on Broadway?

Maybe it's like "The Producers". Come up with a bad musical and turn a profit.