Sega Lets You Play Videogames with Your Pee

Greg Tito

PR for Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 29, 2005
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Sega Lets You Play Videogames with Your Pee

Sega gives new meaning to motion control by letting men play games as they urinate in Tokyo bathrooms.

Ok fellas, who of you hasn't tried to knock off some mildew or "paint" the back of the urinal as you do your bidness in the bathroom? If you're not raising your hand, I call you a liar, sir. Sega knows that we all have the temptation to make a game out of peeing, so they closed the gap by, well, making a game out of peeing. Right now, Sega is testing its Toylet console in select bathrooms across Tokyo, offering four different mini-games before running an advertisement. A pressure sensor on the back of the urinal detects the strength and location of your pee-pee stream and that information is transmitted to a screen above. You can even save your scores to a USB flash drive, you know, in case you were thinking of starting a competition with your officemates.

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As there isn't much a chance of offending the opposite sex, the four games on Sega's Toylet all strongly cater to the male demographic. Manneken Pis is a straight-up measurement of how much liquid you project onto the sensor. Graffiti Eraser is a take on the old standby where your stream helps keep the bathroom clean by washing away unwanted scrawlings. Then there's Milk from Nose in which your stream is measured against the last guy to use the Toylet to push a combatant out of a "ring." It's a little gross for the waste liquid that you project from your penis to be translated into milk coming from your avatar's nose, but then again, this is Japan we're talking about.

Which leads me to the last game: The North Wind and Her. This one has your pee power the wind blowing up a girl's skirt to ostensibly glimpse the sweet nothings hiding beneath it. There's many things that are just wrong about this game but I'll start with the purely mechanical. If you're presented with erotic images, it doesn't necessarily make urinating any easier, does it?

The ethics/feasibility of North Wind notwithstanding, I actually think that the Toylet is a pretty smart idea. There's not much to do in the 30 seconds or so that you stand at the urinal and, given how much coffee I consume and how many trips to the bathroom that entails, the time wasted on a daily basis really starts to add up. Would I be grateful to have a game to play in those five minutes of my life each day? Sure.

Would I start drinking as much water as I could to keep me going to the john to rack up that high score in Graffiti Eraser? Hells yeah, I would.

Source: Akihabara News [http://en.akihabaranews.com/77692/gaming/new-sega-gaming-console-japanese-innovation-at-its-finest]

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Radoh

Bans for the Ban God~
Jun 10, 2010
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*cringe* Why does this even... Who would even make something like this? Good lord Sega, I always thought that you went down the toilet as of late but setting up residence there?
 

Josh123914

They'll fix it by "Monday"
Nov 17, 2009
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huh, and I thought the Wii Fit board was weird(the gimmicky platform wars rage onward)
 

Josh123914

They'll fix it by "Monday"
Nov 17, 2009
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Radoh said:
*cringe* Why does this even... Who would even make something like this?
people that obviously 1. don't go out very often, I mean public urinals aren't exactly 'clean' and 2. they just completely made this thing unisex, you just slashed your already tiny market of people who like doing stuff while going to the Bathroom in half
 

subject_87

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Jul 2, 2010
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...

You know, I'm just not going to touch this matter, other than saying that Sega has finally gone completely batshit.
 

Greg Tito

PR for Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 29, 2005
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Josh12345 said:
they just completely made this thing unisex, you just slashed your already tiny market of people who like doing stuff while going to the Bathroom in half
Just out of curiosity, how do you think a lady version might work?
 

Armored Prayer

New member
Mar 10, 2009
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Bwwaahahahaha!

This is so stupid yet awesome at the same time. I wouldn't mind trying that 'Milk form Nose' game.
 

Onyx Oblivion

Borderlands Addict. Again.
Sep 9, 2008
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Greg Tito said:
Just out of curiosity, how do you think a lady version might work?
...

...

I'll never sleep again until I figure this out.

...

...

Damn you, Tito.
 

silasbufu

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Aug 5, 2009
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Guess no Graffiti Eraser for the ladies huh?

Anyway, I would totally like those in the bars I get drunk. Would be fun to compete with friends.

....

Not at the same urinal you weirdos.
 

Nouw

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Mar 18, 2009
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Greg Tito said:
Josh12345 said:
they just completely made this thing unisex, you just slashed your already tiny market of people who like doing stuff while going to the Bathroom in half
Just out of curiosity, how do you think a lady version might work?
Woah now that's something to think about o_O

Hmmm...I guess Sega finally snapped and decided to make a game about pissing. Sega, this fish wants your cheeks! This is just fucked up, I mean come on!
 

TheAmazingHobo

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Oct 26, 2010
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I wonder how those news got out.
There must have been a serious leak. I mean, they probably wanted to keep this one on the down low. And now they have been caught with their pants down and this news is just hanging out in the open.
 

Radoh

Bans for the Ban God~
Jun 10, 2010
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TheAmazingHobo said:
I wonder how those news got out.
There must have been a serious leak. I mean, they probably wanted to keep this one on the down low. And now they have been caught with their pants down and this news is just hanging out in the open.
Is that you Austin Powers?
 

Monshroud

Evil Overlord
Jul 29, 2009
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See things like this would never work in America. Because right off the bat I am sure there is some man or woman who would be "offended" by such a thing. Beyond that you know there would be a string of urinal thefts so people could bring this home... Ya know, for practice...
 

BabyRaptor

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Dec 17, 2010
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Greg Tito said:
Josh12345 said:
they just completely made this thing unisex, you just slashed your already tiny market of people who like doing stuff while going to the Bathroom in half
Just out of curiosity, how do you think a lady version might work?
I too am curious about this. I don't think my lady parts...Nevermind. I can't even finish that in a way that makes sense.

I'm inclined to nominate this for "Weird/Creepy Innovation of the Year." Pretty good on Sega's behalf, seeing's it's only the 6th day of the year.
 

Beryl77

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Mar 26, 2010
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I love this, it really sounds like fun, especially the milk game (though I can't imagine how they went from pee to milk from the nose). It's not like I got anything else to do while I'm pissing and I do that a lot in a day.