Portal's Writers Had the Shortest Job Offer Ever

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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Portal's Writers Had the Shortest Job Offer Ever

If only all of our job searches could be this easy.

If you're reading this, there's a good chance that you know that Chet Faliszek and Erik Wolpaw were the brainiacs behind the brilliantly dark humor in 2007's celebrated Portal. You may also know that the duo got their start writing for now-dormant-yet-quite-beloved videogame site Old Man Murray [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/experienced-points/8690-Experienced-Points-For-Old-Man-Murray]. But how did the two get from Point A (Old Man Murray) to Point B (Valve)?

"Out of the blue, in 2004," Faliszek told Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-03-16-why-chet-faliszek-is-valves-mr-awesome], "Gabe [Newell, Valve commander-in-chief] just emailed us and said, do you want to come work for Valve?" The job offer came in straight out of the blue, and Newell didn't seem keen on elaborating. "Gabe's initial email really was one line. We asked, can you explain more? 'No. Just come out.'"

"I figured, what the hell," said Wolpaw. "We were just like, we'll just give it a shot and see what it's like. Seven years later, it's fine." Considering that the Faliszek/Wolpaw duo has been credited with many highly-acclaimed titles other than Portal, such as Team Fortress 2, Left 4 Dead, Left 4 Dead 2 and the Half-Life 2 episodes, I think that "it's fine" is a bit of an understatement, don't you?

Faliszek also revealed why the Valve company profile [http://www.valvesoftware.com/company/people.html] lists him as "Mr. Awesome." "The day of Half-Life: Episode 1," explained Faliszek, "that's where it came from. They were handing out recognition for Episode 1. No one knew what to say, so the first three or four people fumbled around. I just went up and I thanked myself for being awesome."

"Then other people who didn't know what to say just thanked me for being awesome."

So there you have it, folks. If you want a one-line job offer from Gabe Newell himself, you just need to practice being super-awesome.

(Eurogamer [http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2011-03-16-why-chet-faliszek-is-valves-mr-awesome])

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Bags159

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Mar 11, 2011
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Valve devs always have the best stories.
"I'd like to thank myself for being awesome."

Love the job email too.
"You. Here. At Valve. Now."
 

Baneat

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Jul 18, 2008
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Bags159 said:
Valve devs always have the best stories.
"I'd like to thank myself for being awesome."

Love the job email too.
"You. Here. At Valve. Now."
For sexytime!

That's what I read anyway
 

BENZOOKA

This is the most wittiest title
Oct 26, 2009
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Haha. That's just excellent.

Sheds some light on the serious attitude of game developing.
 

Sporky111

Digital Wizard
Dec 17, 2008
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I can totally see that recognition scenario among my group of friends.

First guy: "Uh . . . I'd like myself for being awesome."

Second: "And above all, I'd like to thank him for being awesome."

Third: "Yeah, I just have to go out of my way and thank this guy here for just being awesome."
 

TimeLord

For the Emperor!
Legacy
Aug 15, 2008
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Oh to be an employee of Valve.
Such a fun time would be had by all.
 

Living Contradiction

Clearly obfusticated
Nov 8, 2009
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Heh. Now there is a guy who has self-promotion down pat.

"Hmmm. Nobody wants to claim the glory and the awesome. Well, somebody's gotta do it..."

Good on ya, Mr. Faliszek. May your awesomeness continue into the future.
 

Sniper Team 4

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Apr 28, 2010
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Dream job right here. Writing is all I know that would be of use for the video game industry.

Side note: I'm not sure I would have included the Left 4 Dead series for writing genius. I'm actually disappointed in the games because they came from Valve. I expected more.
 

icyneesan

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Feb 28, 2010
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Gabe obviously doesn't come to the escapistmagazine forums enough then, otherwise he would have hired me for being super mega awesome.
 

Celtic_Kerr

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May 21, 2010
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Bags159 said:
Valve devs always have the best stories.
"I'd like to thank myself for being awesome."

Love the job email too.
"You. Here. At Valve. Now."
Most sane people would be like "Tell me whatthe fuck is going on or else no" but I guess that's what makes people who woud work at valvE special
 

Gladion

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Jan 19, 2009
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They wrote the stories for L4D and L4D2? Great job, guys. I hope you're happy with your life.

Edit:
In all seriousness now, though, I know that "writing story" does include things such as dialogue. There was some very funny stuff of that in both of those games.
 

Gladion

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Jan 19, 2009
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EllEzDee said:
Gladion said:
They wrote the stories for L4D and L4D2? Great job, guys. I hope you're happy with your life.
^ Made me laugh.
Tank you. In all seriousness now, though, I know that "writing story" does include things such as dialogue. There was some very funny stuff of that in both of those games. So, again, congrats.