Stolen Pixels #252: Tutorialized
- Thread starter Shamus Young
- Start date
TAKE THE JAR OF PEANUT BUTTER! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!! STICK THAT KNIFE INTO THE PEANUT BUTTER JAR! LIFT OUT SOME OF THE PEANUT BUTTER ON THE KNIFE! PUSH THE PEANUT BUTTER AROUND THE SLICE OF BREAD WITH THE SIDE OF THE KNIFE! PUT THE KNIFE DOWN! EAT THE BREAD! EAT THE BREAD!! USE YOUR MOUTH, GODDAMIT! MASTICATE THAT BREAD!
GET INTO THE LAVATORY. HUSTLE! HUSTLE! OPEN THE LID. MY GRANDMOTHER COULD DO BETTER THAN THAT. NOW PULL DOWN YOUR PANTS AND SIT DOWN ON YER KESTER! NOW SHOW ME YOUR KILLFACE!
What is worse than the micromanaging (which you can ignore) is the intial cutscene for that level. It's great the first time you play the game, but if you ever decide to replay the level, for any reason, you can only skip the first ten minutes or so of it.
You still have to go through the part in your house where you stand up and wait on some Koreans to knock down your door, and you still have to wait on the bus for (what feels like) half an hour.
And even then, the game takes it's damn time about getting you into actual combat. Very annoying.
But the game still is fun. Singleplayer and multiplayer.
You still have to go through the part in your house where you stand up and wait on some Koreans to knock down your door, and you still have to wait on the bus for (what feels like) half an hour.
And even then, the game takes it's damn time about getting you into actual combat. Very annoying.
But the game still is fun. Singleplayer and multiplayer.
When I see games like this I always wonder what the designers were thinking when the created the tutorial.
Do they have that little regard for their players?
Did THEY find the gameplay fun?
Were they watching "Regular Ordinary Swedish Mealtime" (http://youtu.be/0L40f39bPII) when they made the tutorial?
Do they have that little regard for their players?
Did THEY find the gameplay fun?
Were they watching "Regular Ordinary Swedish Mealtime" (http://youtu.be/0L40f39bPII) when they made the tutorial?
When he mentioned the drill sergeant bit at the end, all I could hear was the voice of R. Lee Ermey yelling and it made it quite funny. I've always liked his ability to yell in movies. He's a good fit for them, since he was a Staff Sergeant.
POST A FUNNY AND INSIGHTFULL COMMENT IN HERE! WHATS THE MATTER ARE YOU A LITTLE NON-INVENTIVE GIRL?
IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
Drill sergeant voices are 100 times better if imagined as the Soldier from TF2.
In fact, lots of things are better if heard through TF2 voices. Like my Calc teacher with the Heavy's accent.
"Alright cowards, you take function f(x) and the derivative is equal to g(x). What, can't do eet? Entire class is babies!"
In fact, lots of things are better if heard through TF2 voices. Like my Calc teacher with the Heavy's accent.
"Alright cowards, you take function f(x) and the derivative is equal to g(x). What, can't do eet? Entire class is babies!"
By the sounds of it I wouldn't be surprised if he yelled "That's a 50 DKP minus" every time you did something wrong.
Yet another reason I love STALKER
A little tutorial on your PDA, then its grab a gun and shoot stuff. (and die...a lot)
A little tutorial on your PDA, then its grab a gun and shoot stuff. (and die...a lot)
Extra credits would be disappointed.
When your tutorial treats the player like an idiot or is really that invasive... you fail. subtlety is not a skill the developer has appeared to have mastered.
When your tutorial treats the player like an idiot or is really that invasive... you fail. subtlety is not a skill the developer has appeared to have mastered.