Marketers Now Reading Your Thoughts

[Greg Tito]

Marketers Now Reading Your Thoughts

Instead of taking surveys online, marketing research now uses a mind-reading headband that automatically detects whether you like something or not.

It sounds like something out of 1984 or A Clockwork Orange but the EmBand device from neuroscience leader EmSense is now entering use in the United States. In the past, marketers would conduct research on how normal people might respond to, say, videogames, potential commercials or movie trailers by requesting respondents to fill out complicated surveys after they have consumed the material. Now that most of this research is done in the home of volunteers, online surveys have replaced pen and paper ones. The EmBand takes that one step further by detecting people's positive or negative emotional response to a product or campaign and immediately sending that information to its clients in real time. Emsense said that more than 2,000 households have volunteered to receive EmBands and the company expects 25,000 more by the end of 2011.

"The market research industry has long sought a solution to measure positive or negative emotion and consumer engagement in all forms of marketing stimuli, spanning advertising, packaging, creative concepts and the shopper experience," said Keith Winter, president and CEO of EmSense Corporation. "Advances in neuroscience and electronics technology have opened the door to reliable measurement using EEG and other bio-sensory metrics."

Not only can the EmBand read your thoughts, but it also has accelerometers to track head movement which test distraction levels of respondents. Apparently, moving your head around while watching a movie trailer means that you are distracted.

While it's great to hear about advances in technology increasing efficiency, I've got to say that the EmBand sounds a little creepy. Would you volunteer to wear a headband that read your brainwaves, immediately interpreting whether you like something or not?

Plus, it seems like this information could be wildly misinterpreted, especially if there is no chance for calibration or ways for people to qualify their response. For example, what if an advertisement might tick you off, but you'd still buy the product being advertised because the ad was entertaining or pointed out something that you've often noted?

Also, it just seems like we'd be giving too much information to robot overlords. If they know what kind of cake is our favorite, they will be able to trick us into eating its deliciously poisonous icing that much easier.

Source: BusinessWire [http://www.businesswire.com/portal/site/biospace/index.jsp?ndmViewId=news_view&newsId=20110415005254&newsLang=en]

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[Jack and Calumon]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

 

[Veloxe]

I wonder if they are smiling because they are happy, or because of the voltage that will be pumped through their bodies if they don't smile...

 

[hudsonzero]

marketers beware my demented mind.

 

[Tzekelkan]

Meh. I've very rarely--to the point of calling it almost never--bought anything because of an ad. I find lots of adds entertaining though, many even for products I would never buy (for instance, alcohol commercials are sometimes very creative and I appreciate them, but I don't drink). So... how will their machines react to that?

 

[Dirkie]

They can read my mind allright, but i'm not responsible for any random feedback.
*Bill Clinton in a string bikini approving McDonalds Milkshakes*

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

Silly jack, think fantastic thoughts about everything, so that when they release their stupid products and lose hundreds of thousands of dollars, it'll teach them for trying to read our brains

 

[ThisIsSnake]

reminds me of this...

<youtube=M9i3U_VDrP4&feature=related>

 

[Tulks]

Can we combine these with the scalp-electrifying headsets that improve reflexes?
'cause that could be worth the trade...

 

[The Rockerfly]

Privacy just got a little bit less private

 

[Smooth Operator]

Sooo fucking creepy, and that picture just doubles the creepiness.

How about we use technology for something important?

 

[Prof. Monkeypox]

Put that thing in my brain advertisers. Put it in. I dare you, see what happens.

How much more invasive are we going to let advertisers get before enough is enough? I knew that if we didn't restrict the amount of ads we'd just overload and result in something crazy like this. Already we have people monitoring our internet data, sales patterns, locations, etc. to get us to buy more useless shit. That should have been too far, but there wasn't an outcry, and now they're emboldened enough to go further. We stop them now, or the corporate apocalypse will soon be upon us. I'm sure of it.

 

[Ghaleon640]

(Hint: To understand my next point of action, please know I have just finished 1984 last night.)

A...AAH....AAAAHHHH.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*Flees to Canada*

 

[Jack and Calumon]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

Silly jack, think fantastic thoughts about everything, so that when they release their stupid products and lose hundreds of thousands of dollars, it'll teach them for trying to read our brains

There are those amongst us who'd buy those things though. I'd rather they lose money rethinking their products because the focus group only projected pure hatred of the foulest kind at them. Hatred that did not need a machine to be seen. Mortal eyes gazed upon the disgust that every part of their body was showing, and all directed with deadly precision upon the foul objects and their vile craftsman, who could only stand frozen in terror as their burning lust for his blood grew and grew with everything he could ever make with his hands until the ill-gotten money, he so desired to keep the rest of his life for no reason but to serve as a trophy, erupted in flames from the one thing that stayed the same no matter what the craftsman managed to do. The burning fire inside the hearts of the focus group.

Calumon: Maybe they had too much to eat? Jack has some tablets for that.

 

[Celtic_Kerr]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

Silly jack, think fantastic thoughts about everything, so that when they release their stupid products and lose hundreds of thousands of dollars, it'll teach them for trying to read our brains

There are those amongst us who'd buy those things though. I'd rather they lose money rethinking their products because the focus group only projected pure hatred of the foulest kind at them. Hatred that did not need a machine to be seen. Mortal eyes gazed upon the disgust that every part of their body was showing, and all directed with deadly precision upon the foul objects and their vile craftsman, who could only stand frozen in terror as their burning lust for his blood grew and grew with everything he could ever make with his hands until the ill-gotten money, he so desired to keep the rest of his life for no reason but to serve as a trophy, erupted in flames from the one thing that stayed the same no matter what the craftsman managed to do. The burning fire inside the hearts of the focus group.

Calumon: Maybe they had too much to eat? Jack has some tablets for that.

You thought that through FAR too much...

*gives a cookie to Calumon*

 

[Prof. Monkeypox]

Now lets watch and see them use it on the wrong person. That way they get nothing but pure gold feedback when they use it on fanboys.

Put that thing in my brain advertisers. Put it in. I dare you, see what happens.

How much more invasive are we going to let advertisers get before enough is enough? I knew that if we didn't restrict the amount of ads we'd just overload and result in something crazy like this. Already we have people monitoring our internet data, sales patterns, locations, etc. to get us to buy more useless shit. That should have been too far, but there wasn't an outcry, and now they're emboldened enough to go further. We stop them now, or the corporate
apocalypse will soon be upon us. I'm sure of it.

You haven't been on facebook in the past 3 years have you?

If i type god in my psot for whatever reson i get groups popping up and my Email gets messages from christian forums, if i type in 'Got a new pocket knife" i get adds for cutlery, if i type in "God i fucking hate EA so fucking god damn much" i will get emails from christian groups asking me to join, a message to join the 'I love EA fan circle jerk fan club", and an ad for discount condoms.

That's exactly what I'm complaining about. No one bothered trying to bring down facebook's invasion of privacy, and now advertisers have a direct line to our words. We need to speak up, or the invasion will never end.

 

[Jack and Calumon]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

Silly jack, think fantastic thoughts about everything, so that when they release their stupid products and lose hundreds of thousands of dollars, it'll teach them for trying to read our brains

There are those amongst us who'd buy those things though. I'd rather they lose money rethinking their products because the focus group only projected pure hatred of the foulest kind at them. Hatred that did not need a machine to be seen. Mortal eyes gazed upon the disgust that every part of their body was showing, and all directed with deadly precision upon the foul objects and their vile craftsman, who could only stand frozen in terror as their burning lust for his blood grew and grew with everything he could ever make with his hands until the ill-gotten money, he so desired to keep the rest of his life for no reason but to serve as a trophy, erupted in flames from the one thing that stayed the same no matter what the craftsman managed to do. The burning fire inside the hearts of the focus group.

Calumon: Maybe they had too much to eat? Jack has some tablets for that.

You thought that through FAR too much...

*gives a cookie to Calumon*

Nothing more deadly than a bored geek with spare time on his hands.

Calumon: But you're meant to be working! >: (

 

[Ghaleon640]

fail... doublepost. hate it when I hit quote and it doesn't quote. I am unobservent.

 

[Ghaleon640]

And the market researchers think that they have a reliable source of telling people what they like now? Bullshit, I will force hateful thoughts. It's easy and if I do it hard enough, I will get a headache, but god damn it will be worth it. That'll teach them for reading my mind.

If I wasn't doing this however, I'd say this was a rather clever idea for the wrong thing. Why market research of all things to detect such things?

And what would happen if they wanted me to evaluate porn?

Calumon: You'd get board, 'cos chess is the same no matter where you play, silly.

Silly jack, think fantastic thoughts about everything, so that when they release their stupid products and lose hundreds of thousands of dollars, it'll teach them for trying to read our brains

There are those amongst us who'd buy those things though. I'd rather they lose money rethinking their products because the focus group only projected pure hatred of the foulest kind at them. Hatred that did not need a machine to be seen. Mortal eyes gazed upon the disgust that every part of their body was showing, and all directed with deadly precision upon the foul objects and their vile craftsman, who could only stand frozen in terror as their burning lust for his blood grew and grew with everything he could ever make with his hands until the ill-gotten money, he so desired to keep the rest of his life for no reason but to serve as a trophy, erupted in flames from the one thing that stayed the same no matter what the craftsman managed to do. The burning fire inside the hearts of the focus group.

Calumon: Maybe they had too much to eat? Jack has some tablets for that.

You thought that through FAR too much...

*gives a cookie to Calumon*

Nothing more deadly than a bored geek with spare time on his hands.

Calumon: But you're meant to be working! >: (

I'm supposed to be working too. But don't you see it Calumon? You are to be working as well. Take one of these mind readers and go into a store. Our new overlords need to know things we like so that they can over-charge them.

Help humanity. Help humanity. Helpmetheyhaveadirectlinetomybrainohgodwhy... I mean humanity.