90s Video Condemns Ninja Turtles' Heathen Ways

vansau

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90s Video Condemns Ninja Turtles' Heathen Ways


Fruit snacks weren't the worst thing tied to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon. It was the show's association with the Devil was (or so a 1990s video claimed).

In the 1990s, there were few franchises that were bigger than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The cartoon spawned all sorts of toys, food products, and clothing. However, a video has appeared on the Web showcasing how the Turtles were actually trying to seduce kids and drag them down to hell with their ninja hijinks and ... uh ... promotion of sorcery? It's all a bit nonsensical, but it's also pretty dang funny.

The video is composed of highlights from a 1990s video called "Not Just Fun and Games," which was spliced together by Rich Juzwiak and placed on his blog. Here are some of the best parts from the four minutes of footage:

? The panel accuses toys and cartoons of "evangelizing" children with Hinduism, Occultism, and Humanism.
? "You heard it here first, folks, a rat named 'Splinter' is the hero of this cartoon."
? It's revealed that ninjas were assassins and "not good people."
? <a href=http://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/699/heroquest>HeroQuest is "witchcraft!"

Details about the background of this straight-to-video evangelical production are pretty sparse, but here's what I was able to glean: This was made by a Canadian Christian group back when Michael Jackson, MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice were still cool. Based on that (and the awesome mullet one of the talking heads is rocking), it seems safe to assume that the video was released sometime between 1990 and 1992.

Do you know anything about this video or the group that produced it? If you know do, <a href=http://www.twitter.com/vansau>drop me a line.

Source: <a href=http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2012/01/down-with-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles.html>FourFour via <a href=http://www.geeksaresexy.net/2012/01/17/ninja-turtles-fans-are-going-straight-to-hell-video>Geeks Are Sexy

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RandallJohn

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Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.

(Also, according to the Nostalgia Critic, the worst thing to come out of TMNT was Ninja Turtle Pies. ^_^)
 

vansau

Mortician of Love
May 25, 2010
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Sounds like whoever this group was, they were a few psalms short of a gospel.
RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.
I'm actually watching a show hosted by a pretty cool christian right now.
The crazy thing about him is he has a magic gun. Where'd he purchase that?
<spoiler= He does have some pretty nuty story-lines though> http://images.wikia.com/thatguywiththeglasses/images/7/71/Linkara.png
 

vansau

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May 25, 2010
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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.

(Also, according to the Nostalgia Critic, the worst thing to come out of TMNT was Ninja Turtle Pies. ^_^)
It is true. It's people like this that lead the internet flock into thinking EVERY Christian is a xenophobic, homophobic, racist evangelist who has a mini-shrine to Jerry Falwell, thinks gays and abortionists were responsible for 9-11, and is generally the polar opposite of the kind of person Jesus Christ preached about being.

It's not true, but psychos like these don't help your case any.
 

Orange12345

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Well at least now kids are enjoying wholesome activities like gunning down hordes of Muslim extremists in COD.
 

The Rogue Wolf

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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?
Because you guys don't do anything newsworthy. You just go through life and do your own thing. Just like the rest of us who aren't nutjobs, psychopaths or publicity hounds.
 

Zhukov

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Dec 29, 2009
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Ah Christianity, where do you find these people?

At least you're reliably good for a laugh.
 

antipunt

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I'm an atheist, but still, I think this is more of an older generation vs younger generation thing. In other words, there's always a group of ol'foggies that are afraid of change. That's why people become increasingly conservative as they get older, on average. Also conversely, a lot of young 'uns start out liberal.

But anyways, I think religion is being used as a 'weapon' here to curb parents' fears of change. It happened in the 90s with the ninja turtles. Then it was the sexual revolution. Then it was (is) gays/lesbians. It's always something!

And yes, a lot of Christians are conservative by nature/teaching. But there are liberal Christians too, and I think those are the ones that facepalm at the whole 'gay = evil' schtick
 

Treblaine

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vansau said:
? It's revealed that ninjas were assassins and "not good people."
And as we all know Christians are pacifists and no where in the religion is there ever a divine endorsement or excuse for violence or malicious harm...

... Wait.

Except he whole "gays are an abomination and should be stoned to death" thing and the wars and summary executions.

I'm not saying Christianity is a bad religion (well, the gay-lynching is pretty inexcusable), the US constitution and other codes of creed stipulate violence for certain causes. Just that these guys are being hypocrites. These ninjas fight for the same values, just without Jehova/Yahweh/God-with-a-capital-G's (supposed) permission.

They are just being arbitrary forbidding sorcery, what is the difference between "sorcery" and "biblical miracles"? The latter is "good" because it has the stamp of approval from the Christian camp and if it doesn't have their approval for their narrow beliefs then it's "bad" even if it fights for the same fundamental principals (stopping thieves and murderers).
 

Anon314

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The Rogue Wolf said:
RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?
Because you guys don't do anything newsworthy. You just go through life and do your own thing. Just like the rest of us who aren't nutjobs, psychopaths or publicity hounds.
Yep, Paul actually tells Christians to live this way.

and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.
(1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV)

OT:

Christians like this seem to practice really poor discernment...and they are still around today, I would say a lot of the so called "conservative Christians" that like to talk about immorality leading to the destruction of the US are the ideological ancestors of this line of thinking.

These people even talk about M.C. Hammer "claiming to be a Christian" but imply he is a bad roll model that should not be emulated...but the guy, I am pretty sure, is pretty involved in Christianity these days (at least according to wikipedia).

The whole "magic" argument is really silly too, I remember the churches I grew up in being all up in arms about fantasy magic being evil. Tolkien wrote about magic in The Lord of the Rings, that guy was a Christian... C.S. Lewis used magic a ton in The Chronicles of Narnia series, and I would love to see one of these guys argue Lewis was not really a Christian...

These guys just got caught up in their own moral-ism...they seem very similar to certain pharisees in a certain book...
 

Torrasque

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Velarieth said:
The Rogue Wolf said:
RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?
Because you guys don't do anything newsworthy. You just go through life and do your own thing. Just like the rest of us who aren't nutjobs, psychopaths or publicity hounds.
Yep, Paul actually tells Christians to live this way.

and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.
(1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV)
I thought that was one of the main tenants of Christianity: don't make a big deal about your faith since it is your faith. Seems to me that more Christians--including the main body of the church--do nothing but make big deals about their faith.

OT: I'm still waiting for a video of someone going on about how MLP:FiM is the most sacrilegious thing ever.
 

Redd the Sock

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Well, technically he is right that a lot of historical ninja practices weren't things easially labeled as actions of "the good guys" in 80s terms. I'm sure that's an accident though 'cause the rest is bunk.

Sadly, there've been idiots like this for decades. It's been music, comics, TV, movies, D&D, video games, Harry Potter, all sorts of fantasy worlds that "promote unchristian values". The counter arguements is: so What? Is every entertainment outlet required to promote christian values? Are Christians so poor in promoting their values that they need to censor differing views to keep the religion alive? If anything, the censoring of differing viewpoints sounds a lot more like indoctination. At least none of the above tries to silence the church.
 

RJ 17

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Nov 27, 2011
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:p Anyone else notice how Mr. Half-Mullet changes the story? "There were two little boys, one 5 and one 8..." two sentences later "There were three little boys, two were 5, one was 8." Reminds me of an infomercial for an air matress that could inflate in 45 seconds or less. After one demonstration in which said matress had been inflated, the guy looks at a non-existent watch on&#65279; his wrist and says "Wow! That was under 45 seconds!"

And seriously...what's the guy's problem with Splinter? "The hero of this show is a rat named Splinter......he's a rat....name Splinter....and he's the hero of the show." As if that has any significance to their point whatsoever...unless the guy just doesn't like rats.

Annnnnnnnnd I don't recall Bebop using Dark Sider force powers while the turtles fought him with Eastern-based Light Sider force powers.

AND GOOD GOD! THEY'RE USING FUCKING NUNCHUCKS (yes, I know that's not the proper spelling :p)?! TWO WOODEN STICKS BOUND BY A LEATHER STRAP IS THE WEAPON OF THE ANTI-CHRIST! THEY'RE ILLEGAL IN CANADA FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
 

Fasckira

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Meh, I dont find videos like these funny anymore, I just find them depressing. At best I feel pity for the guys because they're not actually trying to be morons, they actually believe what they're saying and thats a lot worse.
 

Akimoto

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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.

(Also, according to the Nostalgia Critic, the worst thing to come out of TMNT was Ninja Turtle Pies. ^_^)
Remember Pokemon? Same stuff happened. My reaction was to buy a Game Boy Advance and play the heck out of Red. LOTR also had the same response and my dad actually walked out of the first movie and has never read the book. At least he let's us decide for ourselves. Oh, don't forget Harry Potter, which was actually a jolly good ride.

The best thing that came out of TMNT was the homemade blanket my mum made for me. Still have it.

OT: hehehe....
 

RandallJohn

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Akimoto said:
RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.

(Also, according to the Nostalgia Critic, the worst thing to come out of TMNT was Ninja Turtle Pies. ^_^)
Remember Pokemon? Same stuff happened. My reaction was to buy a Game Boy Advance and play the heck out of Red. LOTR also had the same response and my dad actually walked out of the first movie and has never read the book. At least he let's us decide for ourselves. Oh, don't forget Harry Potter, which was actually a jolly good ride.

The best thing that came out of TMNT was the homemade blanket my mum made for me. Still have it.

OT: hehehe....
Oh, goodness, I remember some group even claimed that the font used in Harry Potter was somehow evil or something. Good times. :p
 

Owyn_Merrilin

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I can't seem to find much about this specific VHS tape, but there's a name that might lead to some information for anyone who is interested in getting to the bottom of this: Phil Phillips. He wrote this book in the 80's called "Turmoil in the Toybox," and if he didn't write the script to that VHS tape, whoever did read his book. I've got a copy of it sitting next to me, and it's one of those things that even as a Christian, I can't read it as anything but a comedy piece. This is a very specific brand of crazy, one that even the fundies don't usually hit.
 

ED-Tw0 ZeRo N9nE

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As an atheist, I happen to agree with everything said in this vid. In a sence, they were sort of predicting the future, they just happened to be powerless to stop it. It's no secret that there has been a HUGE drop in their numbers in these last twenty years. More and more people are becoming disillusioned with the church as the years go by, this is a good thing. I subscribe to the notion that Atheism NEEDS religion to exist in order to stay relevant. Otherwise people will most likely invent something else to worship (Scientology *Shudder*), but that doesn't mean they don't still have far, far, FAR too much power in the US. So yeah, having grown up in that time period, all of those toys/cartoons/boardgames probably DID play their part in disillusioning people, especially my generation/ the ones after. This is the natural progression as society advances, and the ONLY thing that will stop it is a total collapse of society itself. Let's not allow that to happen.

{EDIT} To be clear, I don't hate the religious, I actually know several whom I respect. I'm just not a fan of the fanatics/fundamentalists. Those who can perservere through this transition with their faiths intact will be better people because of it.
 

Scarim Coral

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Ah you got to love the 90's!
It make me wonder what they are doing now in this present day? I want to see their reactions given that what they had all said in that video were all for nothing!! They must had a fit when they saw the Ninja Turtle remake and it being popular. Yet again I can easly see them being in the whole violence games= violence childrens.
 

Chewster

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I grew up in a somewhat fundamentalist Christian household and this sort of rhetoric doesn't surprise me in the least. Much of what I was taught in church revolved around how wicked the world outside was and how "worldly" (a word that got used a lot) endeavors were evil because they didn't glorify God and so on, in that manner. We were especially warned about heavy metal, rap and Ouija Boards.

I wasn't really allowed to watch a lot of kids television as a result, though I think that had a lot to do with how violent these (and other) cartoons were, more than anything. As a result, I'm not a very aggressive adult, so I guess it turned out alright, even if I've more or less rejected all of those beliefs.
 

Saltyk

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Did I miss the episode when the turtles pulled out Lightsabers to battle Shredder as he summoned lightning and demons from the pits of Hell? Because that sounds pretty awesome.

Really, what else is there to say? These guys are/were nuts. Watching this video makes me hope they grew up. Yeah, a kid that watched the shows they were complaining about thinks they were acting like children on that video.
 

Sabrestar

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Ah, the Satanic Panic. What an awful time that was.

Times like this I imagine Jesus watching down from Heaven and facepalming, muttering "That's not what I said! That's not what I meant!"
 

Kenjitsuka

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Bwahahaha, that is a funny video!
Too bad people like these have become more radicalized and still rant on today about science being evil etc. :\
 

Something Amyss

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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?
Same reason you don't hear about the people that haven't been killed in a war or the women Herman Cain hasn't slept with.

DVS BSTrD said:
I'm actually watching a show hosted by a pretty cool christian right now.
The crazy thing about him is he has a magic gun. Where'd he purchase that?
Oh, come now. Linkara's into comics. How can you accuse him of being cool?

Also, he uses all sorts of magic. Weren't you paying attention? MAGIC IS OF THE DEVIL!

Hell, he worships the Power Rangers. Totemic Shamanism if I ever saw it!

Torrasque said:
I thought that was one of the main tenants of Christianity: don't make a big deal about your faith since it is your faith.
Someone really needs to tell Tim Tebow.
 

SurfKansas

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A Michael Jackson chocolate bar...

Well, we can figure out the date of the video by whether or not the chocolate bar used dark chocolate or white chocolate.
 

K_Dub

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Talk about talking out your ass. I don't think any of them did even a little bit of research.
 

TitanAtlas

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"Biker Mice from mars" made me a satanic mass murderer, that rides a epic bike that can climb buildings!!
 

Kraj

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Why do we even post about things like this anymore? I have to be curious, no amount of discontent on an internet forum which these people aren't going to see will change a dogmatic point of view, regardless of what that point of view is.
Yes, dogmatic people are pitiful, and obviously have some issues...
Isn't this a bit of a waste by now? I think more publicity is gained for these people from the threads against them than they could ever afford to have on their own steam.

tl/dr [old pointless thread repeat is old, i want new threadcandy!]
 

vansau

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May 25, 2010
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RandallJohn said:
Uch, why is it you always hear about the nutjob Christians and not the cool ones?

I'm a Christian, and organizations like this really piss me off. You can squeeze any message out of any product if you're trying hard enough.

(Also, according to the Nostalgia Critic, the worst thing to come out of TMNT was Ninja Turtle Pies. ^_^)

because the most stupid often are the most vocal.

Just look at Westboro Baptist.

Also, Ninja Turtle Pies wasn't that bad, now the ninja rap from the movies..... that was bad.


dont forget the various pizza's they had that the AVGN and company actually tried either.
 

GonzoGamer

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So what were these guys compelled to do with the TMNT meat stick that seemed so unholy?

It's funny, I was watching the old TMNT movie (sponge suit v1) and suddenly had the urge to build a shrine to Kali.

I'm convinced that if there was no such thing as religion, d-bags like this would still go around drowning puppies and shitting in birthday cakes.
 

Ithera

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That was great! Where do I subscribe? These words are good, to long have the demonic forces of greed and occultism perverted our sacrosanct existence!


 

Elementary - Dear Watson

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That is superb! It's a shame we didn't have youtube and broadband back then, videos like these would have been funny... Although you do get hundreds of videos like this every day on there, but with less embarrasing clothes and hair, so it probably would get lost, or drowned in negative comments by now!
 

Mauso88

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The bible has more dangerous stories to tell to your children, not cartoons that were ostensibly episodic toy advertisements.
Loving the panpipes and misty lens though.
 

Dreadjaws

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Wow, from all the 90's cartoons nutjobs could have chosen to pick on and accuse of satanism they chose the TMNT? Really? I'm speechless. These kind of people give religion a bad name. They remind me of the church my aunts used to go to. They wouldn't let their children watch any cartoons, saying nonsense like "Batman's ears are the horns of the devil" and such. I'm so glad we could pull them out of that insane place.
 

Phuctifyno

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Well they're right about one thing, accidentally: it was silly of the cartoon to portray ninjas as heroes... not because it's harmful to the children, just because the TMNT are way more awesome when viewed as amoral assassins and honor-bound servants of Splinter. Of course, the source material comics understood that - before the toy line and color-coded bandanas.

"IT'S VIOLENCE TIME!!!"
- Leonardo (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, volume 1, issue 15)
 

Formica Archonis

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I'd love to make insightful commentary but the succubus I summoned just got into the bright yellow jumpsuit and white bo... back in an hour, or something.
 

Sabrestar

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Zachary Amaranth said:
Sabrestar said:
Ah, the Satanic Panic. What an awful time that was.
Was? When did it stop happening?
It hasn't, regrettably. The names and targets may change, but the battle is still being fought. And now it's all over the world.
 

Formica Archonis

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So, lessons learned:
Christian facial hair represent!
Splinter's a magic Hindu rat, not a deformed human.
Luke Skywalker is just as bad as the Emperor.
In a complete 180 for the character, Bart Simpson is disrespectful to someone!
Michael Jackson is somehow related to Satan because of chocolate bars.
Just because you say you're Christian doesn't mean you're not evil. Because MC Hammer was the evilest and violentest and Satanest rapper to ever be.
 

Colinmac93

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Really? These guys are looking at all of these things and saying that they aren't Christian?
All that video proved to me was that TMNT, Michael Jackson etc had a huge load of merchandise.

P.S. Michael Jackson chocolate bars? Were they dark or white chocolate?
 

Pyode

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I used to have a pair of those slippers. LOL

Anyway, this isn't really news. The Evangelical Christians have been spouting this garbage for decades now. Dungeons and Dragons, Turtles, Pokemon, and Harry Potter have all had the same kind of stuff said about them.

The only thing that bothers me abut it is that the parents who are part of these groups will actually take this stuff seriously and prevent their children from enjoying these great properties.

Of course, children with parents like that have much bigger problems than simply not being allowed to read Harry Potter.