G4 Unveiling Major E3 Announcement Tonight

[Nathan Meunier]

G4 Unveiling Major E3 Announcement Tonight

Tonight is one night you'll want to put down the controller and pick up the TV remote.

This year attendees at the Electronics Entertainment Expo mourned the fun chaos and crazy frills of the industry event's former glory days. For better or worse, you'll want to tune in to G4 TV tonight for a special announcement regarding the future of E3. The news will be big indeed.

According to G4 TV's The Feed, [http://www.g4tv.com/thefeed/blog/post/690245/Big_E3_Announcement_Tonight_on_XPlay.html] the E3 news will drop during tonight's episode of X-Play which begins at 8 p.m. EST. For those who care, the show will also feature reviews of Fable II, LittleBigPlanet, and Dead Space along with a preview of Mirror's Edge. G4 purports tonight "all will become clear and lives will be forever changed."

While you're waiting for the show, feel free to post your best highly speculative guesses below.


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[laryri]

What's this? G4 actually has something worthwhile to say? I will be sure to tune in.

 

[HomeAliveIn45]

Yeah, I lost all faith in G4 after they went to commercials in the middle of the live presentation of... get this... the new Halo 3 trailer. You could even hear Adam Sessler arguing off camera: "No, we can't...not now... no!"

 

[Corven]

they're moving it to new york.

I just wanted to be different from everyone else who will say they are canceling E3.

 

[Jumplion]

It better be worth while, the last announcment was them showing Lost 2.0 or some crap. And the other one was them showing episodes of Heros.

they're moving it to new york.

I just wanted to be different from everyone else who will say they are canceling E3.

Spoler sport!

 

[Lt. Sera]

E3 will be reverting back to what it was. Then next year they'll still suck due to PAX having already filled the void they left.

 

[Anton P. Nym]

"We're opening E3 to the public. In order to expedite the movement of traffic, homicide statutes will not be enforced within the exhibition hall. We expect the additional ease of access to be worth the extra cost of absorbant floor coverings."

-- Steve

 

[Eldritch Warlord]

Yeah, I lost all faith in G4 after they went to commercials in the middle of the live presentation of... get this... the new Halo 3 trailer. You could even hear Adam Sessler arguing off camera: "No, we can't...not now... no!"

That makes me like him even more (he's definitely the most intelligent G4 host).

I had the live show streaming from GameSpot so I could watch what happened during the commercials. When the trailer was cut off me and my brother just looked at each other and ran for the computer. Fun night.

Good thing G4 made up for it by broadcasting the trailer in full a few times with humble apologies (or at least the semblence of humilty).

 

[Brockyman]

Maybe that E3 will actually be good? Back to good ole days?


Too much to hope for?

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

I already know the announcement. They're going to say that I've been hired to run E3 from here on out.

Opening ceremonies this year will consist of a Machinima rendition of 'Henry the V', done in Unreal Tournament 3, and be closely followed by a long line of people in black robes smacking themselves with issues of GameInformer. All voice acting will be provided by me and this homeless guy who hangs out on King & Calhoun. Plays a mean fiddle.

Booths will be limited to one person, who must dress as a person in their game, and act like they are a real character from it. Think historical re-enactors. Anytime someone breaks character they will be banned from E3 for as long as I'm in control.

Games will be displayed on a rolling cart that randomly gets launched through the E3 area at unpredictable intervals. Journalists will be required to chase after the TV's and observe what they can. All games will only be previewed once OR they will be allowed to take a hammer and beat on a series of dead horses hidden around the arena. Whoever beats the dead horse the most, gets to view the game of their choice from inside the dead horse.

It will be a long announcement.

 

[HobbesMkii]

E3 will announce that G4 sucks. Then they will have a separate press release telling us what they really wanted to announce.


Seriously though, E3 will probably be like "We get it. We'll change! Just come to E3!"

 

[HomeAliveIn45]

I already know the announcement. They're going to say that I've been hired to run E3 from here on out.

Opening ceremonies this year will consist of a Machinima rendition of 'Henry the V', done in Unreal Tournament 3, and be closely followed by a long line of people in black robes smacking themselves with issues of GameInformer. All voice acting will be provided by me and this homeless guy who hangs out on King & Calhoun. Plays a mean fiddle.

Booths will be limited to one person, who must dress as a person in their game, and act like they are a real character from it. Think historical re-enactors. Anytime someone breaks character they will be banned from E3 for as long as I'm in control.

Games will be displayed on a rolling cart that randomly gets launched through the E3 area at unpredictable intervals. Journalists will be required to chase after the TV's and observe what they can. All games will only be previewed once OR they will be allowed to take a hammer and beat on a series of dead horses hidden around the arena. Whoever beats the dead horse the most, gets to view the game of their choice from inside the dead horse.

It will be a long announcement.

I'm not gonna lie, that sounds better than their current layout.

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

I'm not gonna lie, that sounds better than their current layout.

The final show will be the number one ranked Guitar Hero player walking around stage smashing Gibson Guitars and lighting them on fire while I chant, "Are you not entertained? ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!"

Sorry, I'm in a really snarky mood for some reason.

 

[Melaisis]

E3 will be reverting back to what it was. Then next year they'll still suck due to PAX having already filled the void they left.

On the money, Sera. All the fun PR managers, developer studios and decent crowds have moved to PAX, so all that really remains for E3 to work with is the boring drabble that they want to escape from anyway.

Journalists will be required to chase after the TV's and observe what they can. All games will only be previewed once OR they will be allowed to take a hammer and beat on a series of dead horses hidden around the arena.

Sounds like an actual stunt Ubisoft would try to pull off. Only to fail spectacularly, mind.

 

[Alone Disciple]

I'm gonna guess that E3 is going to announce an unrivaled new marketing campaign in which the network and expo cross polinate.

Expect to see Cops 3.0 in which E3 security is profiled.

Joey Greco will host X-Play on a fill in basis.

Olivia Munn will be a regular booth babe.

Adam Sessler and Kevin Pereira will host Cheaters for a week and follow the exploits of Cos players, specfically all attendees dressed in Epic WoW or JRPG costumes.

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

Peter Molyneaux will be doing a stand-up routine in which he describes the amazing features from other people's games.

Cliffy B. and Shigeru Miyamoto will play 'Chutes & Ladders' until one of them wins or figures out a way to get the other to like their games.

And finally, the ceremonial 'Running with the Fanboys' will be held outside the arena. A copy of 'Smash Brothers Brawl Zero' will be placed at the end of the highway and developers will jump in the way and run while they race towards it.

 

[Lvl 64 Klutz]

Surprised nobody has mentioned what the "big surprise" was yet... Was it not really much of an announcement or something? I don't pay for G4, so I wouldn't know.

 

[Hey Joe]

Booth babes to become full-blown hookers.

Did I say 'full blown'?

 

[TsunamiWombat]

So, what was the actual suprise? I caught the end of X-play for it and now I have to live with the knowledge they're doing a whole show on Guitar Hero 2- amongst one of the most useless games ever.