The Hoff Lays an Egg For Burnout Crash!

[Andy Chalk]

The Hoff Lays an Egg For Burnout Crash!

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The latest addition to David Hasselhoff's list of credits is a new and incredibly bizarre ad for Burnout Crash! in which he literally lays an egg.

I can remember a time when David Hasselhoff was cool. Not ironically cool, not post-cool, not "cautionary tale" cool, but straight-up, balls-out, no-foolin' cool. Sure does seem like a long time ago. Probably because it was a long time ago, but that's not something I really like to think about very much.

Instead, I'll distract myself with this new ad for Burnout Crash!, the latest release in the Burnout series that's available now on XBLA and PSN. It really needs to be seen to be appreciated, but the crash [Crash!] course version is this: the Hoff crashes [Crashes!] a party, informs all and sundry that they're a bunch of primitive chumps and then uses the power of Kinect to crap out a giant egg onto an ice cream truck.

Like I said, it really needs to be seen.

I suppose you can do whatever you want when you're the Hoff and that, as the Hoff, you'd know best about this sort of thing. It's all officially above reproach, in other words, but it still sure seems like a far cry from the days of hanging out with Gary Coleman and Mr. T.



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[Catchy Slogan]

... What the fuck did I just watch?

 

[Andronicus]

Oh. The new Burnout game is a top-down, crash-event only game? With Kinect? Well that's another whole franchise completely ruined for me.

 

[Palademon]

I guess Microsoft saw the crappy Nintendo ads involving celebrities I hate and went "We can top that."

 

[Sizzle Montyjing]

Butwhatidontunderstandwhy-whowhenwhat-hoffchicken
[HEADING=1]WHAT THE FUCK!?!?[/HEADING]
My eyes... the things they have now seen...
It was just so un-natural...

 

[Mouse_Crouse]

lol, wow. Not sure what to think of the add, however it did make me smile. I actually thought this was a full deal 60$ game, or a 3DS game, now that I know it's an Arcade game, I'm gonna be picking it up.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

The Hoff was a judge on Britain's Got Talent. That's pretty indicative of how shit he is.

And can we have a proper Burnout game? Please? This looks like arse, go back and do it properly, or I'll call your parents, and you'll all be grounded!

 

[Svenparty]

... What the fuck did I just watch?

You watched David Hasslehoff ruin what already looked like a ruined version of Burnout followed by some irrelevant shit to make you forget about it.

He needs to start drinking again.

 

[Vault Citizen]

Funny video but I don't feel like I actually learnt much about the game. From what I saw it looks like someone turned a racer series into a top down destruction game as an act of revenge against companies that make FPS games out of non FPS series'.

 

[bootz]

Glad to see that they spent more on making the trailer than making the game.

 

[ChillShark]

The insanity in his eyes.............

Not since Spongebob has The Hoff been this enterweirdening!
I'm not really surprised that he does these kinds of ads. This is the same guy who almost assaulted Jay Leno for making a joke about him on stage.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

This is what happens when you have useless technology such as Kinect and you want to advertize it.
What these developers don't realize is that the game has to be good on it's own without having to rely on useless gimmicks. Developers of Burnout Crash obviously think that the main selling point of their game is Kinect. Which means the game sucks.

 

[SageRuffin]

... What the fuck did I just watch?

That's what I was thinking, but the message was lost when my brain crawled out of my skull and started throttling me.

 

[Doclector]

And so, another american-made advert tries to meet japanese levels of wierd...and succeeds!?

Oh. The new Burnout game is a top-down, crash-event only game? With Kinect? Well that's another whole franchise completely ruined for me.

Indeed. No amount of hoff-hen action can convince me that burnout crash is anything else but a giant "screw you" to burnout fans.

 

[Proverbial Jon]

Oh and so another wonderful use of the powerful Kinect has arrived...

Seriously, why are the only games for this thing dumbed down rehashes of existing franchises or padded out mini-games? Can no one actually think of an innovative way to use this tech?

And Burnout? What have you become?

And can we have a proper Burnout game? Please? This looks like arse, go back and do it properly, or I'll call your parents, and you'll all be grounded!

Exactly my thoughts on this. I feel like an ashamed parent who has just found his 14 year old wayward daughter attempting to go out wearing nothing but a low cut top, short skirt and far too much makeup. I'm not angry just... dissapointed.

 

[GonzoGamer]

The Hoff was a judge on Britain's Got Talent. That's pretty indicative of how shit he is.

And can we have a proper Burnout game? Please? This looks like arse, go back and do it properly, or I'll call your parents, and you'll all be grounded!

I know. It's a shame that after begging them for years to bring back crash junctions, THIS is what they make?
I was still trying to be optimistic when I saw it thinking that it could still be fun and explosive even though it looked like Spy Hunter. But after playing it, I just wish someone would just buy the franchise from them to stop them from running it into the ground.

Burnout Revenge is probably my favorite driving game of all time but that was a while ago.

Pee Wee Herman couldn't save this game.